jigokufever | June 2022 Test Drive

Entry tags:

June 2022 Test Drive

1. CLEAN UP

The curse has broken, finally banishing the oppressive air around the city and the many sightless eyes of the accursed haniwa. Life will have to return to normal now but first there is lingering clean-up that must be attended to:

SHUTEN CLAN

The Shuten Clan is out in force to rebuild damaged storefronts. Eager oni appear in their festival happi, singing oni working tunes. You can pick up the words easily enough, join in and help out. The mood starts bright, but after a number of unlucky accidents there is less singing and more grumbling. The cursed energy left behind has made all of you much more prone to workplace accidents but the storefronts need to be scrubbed, broken glass needs sweeping, new furniture needs construction. There are any number of thumbs smashed by hammers, hands cut on saws, heads hit with falling debris or that board of wood you didn’t see someone carrying towards you. It’s a cursed day to be out on the job.

Rewards will come in the form of free drinks for a week from specific bars and a generous amount of chips for the casinos. If you aren’t of age to drink or gamble? Well… they’ll look the other way this time. Have fun.

It should be noted that the uniform -- a happi, a hachimaki, and fundoshi -- is required. The Shuten Clan is very traditional, after all.

TAMAMO CLAN

The bathhouses in Tamamo clan territory remain full of bloodied water. They need to be drained and scrubbed to make them new again. However, reaching the drains is a tricky business. You can’t simply reach in to pull out the plug, you will have to wade into the water to twist it free. Easy enough, right?

Unfortunately, residual curse energy has made this a very dangerous task. Phantasmal hands will reach out and try to drag you under as you get too close to the drain. The phantasms can be distracted, so you’ll need some teamwork to succeed. Your reward is a significant amount of free bath coupons. Some of the advertised baths even have “special” properties. Take the chance to relax, you probably need it.

Those that are rejuvenated in the newly purified baths will find themselves with seemingly limitless vigor. That vigor may sometimes manifest in the form of desperately needing to fuck the first thing willing to do so. Which might turn out somewhat embarrassing...

SUTOKU CLAN

The residual cursed energy in the Sutoku Alliance territory has congregated in their many arcades. The prizes in the UFO catcher machines seem off and they keep shifting around. If you happen to win a prize, the prize slot snaps shut on your hand with amazing force: the machine out for blood. To clear the curse, the prizes need to be removed from the machines and purified with the help of a local shrine maiden. Unfortunately, the key ring to open the machines has been stolen by some of the unruly prizes. You will need to use your UFO catcher skills to fish it back out.

Try not to lose any fingers.

Other machines are shooting tokens out of their coin slots at astonishingly painful speeds. A strange phenomenon, as even the machines that take swipe cards are doing it. Where are those tokens even coming from? You will have to get the machines open and give them a deep cleaning to get all the residual blood off the coins and mechanisms. You need the same keys that are stuck inside the UFO catcher…. Better hope you can fish out the one you need.

For your troubles, you will be given unlimited free plays for a month. Perfect for winning a totally-not-cursed prize for your sweetie.

ENMA DEPARTMENT

It’s the Department of the Enma’s turn to go begging for good will. They are considered to be mostly responsible for the way the cursed haniwa were handled in the first place. Enma souls should get out on the streets and see what the people need: Food, clean water, housing repairs and maintenance, as well as exorcisms. They’re all high on people’s priority lists and most people want it done pronto. Try not to get snappy with the angry people, the department’s reputation is on the line.

The Enma is slated to give a press conference at some point. It's up to the rest of the Department to assure that there will be reception to his words. They are likely to be of grave importance to the rest of the city.

A hard day’s work is its own reward, but you’ll also get a day pass to a theme park on the edge of the city – in the name of community outreach, of course.

2. GHOST SHARKS

The very streets themselves are treacherous with residual curses. The isonades may have been intimidated out of town for the moment but the anger of their ancestors lingers in the bloody puddles that still glisten in the streets. Come too close to these puddles and spectral sharks will lunge from beneath the surface: Blood for blood! Lives for lives!

While spectral in nature, the teeth on these sharks can still do real harm to anyone they lash out at. They don’t seem to take damage in kind, but will pop and disperse for a moment when struck. The ghostly sharks are being populated by a magic totem that has been partially buried in the dirt of a local park. Destroy it and the sharks will disappear.

Unfortunately, a pack of snotty local children have taken a shine to this magic totem. They are not keen to let you take it from them, nor break it. It’s theirs. It’s special. If you’re feeling brutish or cruel, you can fight the children or deceive them, but your boss would probably suggest you try to bargain with them for appearance’s sake. They’re entirely unreasonable though, as children can be, and it will be quite a chore to get them to agree to your terms.

3. CURSED CORNERS

There are certain corners and alleyways which are simply predisposed to gather cursed energy. These areas are still haunted enough to affect the reality around you. You may experience hallucinations or visions of lost loved ones, past regrets, personal failings. These visions are played out in the area for all to see. You will remain frozen in place until your moment is done, or someone brave comes to pull you out.

Now that the worst of it is over, some of the more morbid and voyeuristic members of the public may be lurking around these haunted areas, waiting to see what horrors will be unveiled. They have out their phones and their cameras to record the show.

The cruelest of the spectators provide commentary to their social media followings as they observe. Anything for that monetization!

The biggest of the streams is a kerakera onna who goes by her channel name: Lipsticki. She leans in over the rooftops to cackle loudly at people’s misfortunes and give petty, scathing commentary about their misdeeds and failings.

4. THE ENMA SPEAKS (PLOT RELEVANT)

Outside the hospital where the Enma was being treated, there is a huge press gathering. The judge arbiter has been deemed fit enough to release. Hungry for word, journalists from every publication swarm the area. Most press-outlets in the city are controlled by the Sutoku Alliance, who have a vested interested in interrogating the Enma.

A number of other onlookers have tacked on as well, including Lost Souls both old and new. Lost Souls may even find themselves ordered to attend the statement by their faction.

It is assumed that the Enma must have something of grave importance to say, after all.

The Enma approaches the podium. He is dressed in his usual suit, his crown, and his stern expression; it puts a hush over the crowd through its tremendous pressure alone. No questions have been asked, yet, but a statement has been prepared. He clears his throat:

"The cause of the curse, the enemy of Jigokucho, is... Haniyasu. The Department's focus will be shifting to determining our next action in regards to this entity. That is all."

Just like, the Enma's secretary and a retinue of armored shinigami move to flank the Enma and guide them to a waiting limo down the steps. The press yells their questions over one another, but are pushed back. The Enma doesn't even seem to perceive them, simply focusing on getting into the car.

Unfortunately, if you're a representative for one of the factions -- especially the Department of the Enma -- that makes you fair game to hound for questioning too. Do you stand your ground or try to run away?

[[banner art by s-tokimura]]

Welcome to the test drive meme!

Threads here can be considered game canon.
Characters can be recruited to do work for any faction until they're given their official assignment.
New characters can link their toplevels here!
If you have any questions about the TDM content, please ask them here! You can find information on the story so far here!
If you have questions about the game itself, please check out the premise, FAQ, and rules pages.
Reserves are open until July 5th
NEWBIE TOP LEVELS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

if you need to learn how to talk to a lady, ask your mum ➤ CURSED SHARKS

[ As far as unwanted trips to the underworld goes, this could be better. There's hardly even a shop here to her tastes; of course, what's a girl to do when she lacks even a bit of pocket change, anyway? Shopping is hardly something that should be on her schedule, so Bayonetta takes to perusing the streets, taking to awkward small talk, and being mistaken for a youkai on her own. (The lady is over eight feet tall, of course.) Sunset comes quickly, and it's when the whole of Jigoku is under the warm orange glow of the artificial sun that her unusual crawl through the streets lands her in a fascinating spot.

Perhaps you're being accosted by the ghost sharks, or maybe you're watching the whole ordeal unfold. It's a spectacle, for sure. A school of ghostly, ghoulish sharks is swimming ever closer to a lone civilian, smelling blood in the water. It's hardly something anyone wants to see. ]

Well, well! What a display.

[ A signpost barrels past between them, narrowly missing the accosted party. At least Bayo can aim well. The "STOP" sign speaks for itself, but she can't help herself. Perched atop some street railing with her legs crossed, the leggy woman leans over to rest her chin on her white gloved knuckles, and her elbow rests upon her knee. She tilts her head, and smiles, glasses catching sunlight and glimmering. ]

I didn't know the fish market ran so late here. And how fresh the cuts are. But they're compensating for something, I see.

[ The ghost sharks, of course, are turning with fury to the woman harassing them back. ] Insecurity has never been a good luck for anyone, dear.

[ Surely this will be fine. ]

whaddya buyin'?! ➤ SHOPPING

[ What was that about the fashion not being to her taste? Well, it turns out that you can't pass up a chance for free duds if you're Bayonetta. Without much insistence from anyone, she'll find herself in one of the shops allowing for some free clothing, and look. No one said that she had to stick to one thing.

So, there's an eight foot tall British woman trying on clothing. ]

Mm. Never been anything a bit of dress couldn't fix, I'll say.

[ What's she got on? A yukata, perhaps, or maybe a strange choice of costume, or something else. Pick your poison. Tell her she looks good. Or don't! She's a big girl. She can handle it. ]

flock off, featherface! ➤ CURSED CORNERS

[ She's just not a sharing sorta girl, you see. While a number of tasteless individuals are making a show of mocking others, the head honcho that towers over the streets is what gets her goat. It's not her business, and she's as unattached as possible (really, she swears, totally), but Bayonetta would love to get some beauty sleep in. It's not like working hours don't cut into that as is, so in the early morning hours, Lipsticki meets her match in the closest thing to Hakushaku Onna right now.

If you're around to see it, you'll know.

A door knob gets kicked into Lipsticki's face. It lands— hard. Bayonetta isn't even hiding it was her, hands on her hips as she walks across the rooftop of some neon lights business. Where did the knob come from? Questions, questions with no satisfactory answers! Come up with your own reason. She's busy. ]

Some of the city's resident have no idea what self-care looks like. For example, your recommended daily sleep allowance should be about eight hours... Hmm. [ Watching Lipsticki fume for a moment, Bayonetta tilts her head before continue. Meanwhile, all the cameras are on her, turned away from the recollections of trauma unfolding below on the streets. It's quiet. Too quiet. ]

But they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so don't give up trying.

[ Uh oh. ]

let's rock, baby! ➤ WILDCARD

[ You can hit me up with a BYOP, if none of these interest you. I'm playing fast and loose with Bayonetta's faction right now, so I'd prefer not to commit to any one in tags. On that note, if you wanna plot something out or have question, PM this account or hit me up @ hagclub. 💗 ]

Edited 2022-06-24 20:47 (UTC)

[ Shenhe isn't eight feet tall, nor does she even know what 'British' is, but she is similarly being shoved an outfit or three for free. Only that she's refusing each and every one of these offers being made to her with a stern look on her face. ]

I don't need these. The ones I have on are just fine.

[ There's nothing wrong with them. So why would she take new ones?

At the sight of this very tall British (? whatever that means) lady, however, she looks utterly perplexed. ]

A dress can't fix anything. It's just clothes.

[ To her credit, what Shenhe is getting shoved at her is a gaudy purple, ill-fitting yukata with shiny, cheap looking fabric. It looks like, rather than a carefully handled garment, it is something plucked off a costume rack and shoved in a bag for easy storage. A clashing shade of pea green speckles the yukata in such a way that it implies grass, but really, a summer themed purple yukata? ]

Don't be shy. How's a girl to find something that fits her with such gauche looking garments at the ready. Come now, I'm sure that you've heard of "dressing for the occasion", hm?

[ She discards the yukata easily, looking down at the little man trying to oversell an ugly piece of clothing. ]

If you have, then you know the importance of one's appearance, and for that reason, I'm sure you can understand the great disservice happening to you when someone offers up such a... hm, quaint little option.

[ Sure, she’s heard of that phrase, but does she understand what it means? Not in the least. She didn’t find anything particularly wrong with the ugly yukata being shoved her way, but she also doesn’t find it particularly nice to look at? More importantly, still, is that she doesn’t need new clothes.

The little man acquiesces under Bayonetta’s pointed stare, scurrying away presumably to find something else to toss at them. ]

Was it really that awful?

[ A beat, and then she adds: ]

Is dressing for the occasion what you were doing, just now? With all the different… outfits.

[ Yes, that’s what they’re called, aren’t they. Outfits. ]

Thought I smelled something fishy around here...!

[Felicia nearly jumped out of her fur at the whizzing signpost that skimmed her tail by a few inches, but she's thankful for the good samaritan's help; those fish don't look very tasty. Although judging by the JAWS theme playing in her head as she watches them minnow back towards Bayonetta, maybe she should return the favor.]

--Hey!! Where're you all going? Don't you want an autograph? [Leaping back after the ghostly sharks as they prepare to take a leaping bite up at the woman, Felicia swipes them back down to the streets with a furious swipe of her claws, although all it manages to do is dispel the spirit from the air. It reforms in a puddle nearby, now looking displeased with them both.]

...Oops.

[ You know, she can appreciate a bit of fun here and there. A nice costume, she thinks, is only the tip of the iceberg with this one. She may not show it in her response easily, but for a moment, there is gratefulness in her features. Wide eyes, jaw just barely slack. It isn't a common occurrence someone tries to help.

Theatrically, Bayonetta shrugs. At some point, she's begun walking along the railing. ]

Sweet as you are, pussycat, I don't think you've been briefed on the situation, have you? [ Hands on her hips now, she balances along the metal railing, heels clicking with a dangerous amount of force. ]

I appreciate a good sense of fashion when I see it. Think you can keep up?

[ In other words: Follow her lead! Without another word, she jumps from the railing to the street, and bolts. Their shark friends are following, in hot pursuit of her. She runs with purpose, however, clearly aware of what she's got to do to handle the situation. Information isn't so hard to come by on the streets, but Bayonetta exudes confidence event she doesn't mean to. ]

Is there, uh, a situation? [Felicia shoots a sheepish smile up at Bayonetta; count that as a 'yes'?] And here I thought I was just the damsel in distress!

Though honestly, that's not my favorite part. [She turns back to the bubbling puddles with a low hiss, crouching down with her claws at the ready. It seemed that a fight was inevitable, here, as much as she didn't want to get involved. To be fair- they attacked her first.]

[She's totally not expecting Bayonetta to bolt off like that! Was she trying to lead them away? Something about that doesn't sit right with Felicia, someone else putting themselves in danger for her sake. It sets her off on a chase after the sharks and her mysterious savior, leaping off buildings and the heads of passerby in order to keep up.]

Sorry!! Sorry! Coming through! [At least she had excellent senses; she keeps on their trail in hot pursuit, until she finds that they've headed down what looks like a dead-end alleyway. Great... Now this looked dangerous. But also, a much more level playing field, right?]

Aww, you went and found me a perfect stage! [Felicia calls out as she sees the flash of Bayonetta at the rooftops, all clad in shiny black.] What do you say we get this show on the road?

[ Harry is no stranger to loving clothes and loving free things. He's walking past the women's section with some clothes draped over his arm, selections made with care, but then stops when he notices an extremely tall woman dressed in...

COMPOSURE - A sexy cop uniform? Kind of like someone would working for a fetish club.
SUGGESTION - *Very* sexy.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - Those clothes are *not* sanctioned as proper uniform for any police force.
AUTHORITY - Confront her on this affront to your profession at once!

But he's not going to confront her. He's just kind of gawking at her from a distance, growing more and more noticeable for how long he stares. His brain has turned off and there are no words. ]

[ Though Bayonetta turns this way and that way for her reflection, judging the costume on it's merits and drawbacks, she doesn't notice Harry for a moment. It isn't until she does a little twist, flipping her hair and nearly cracking into the splits that she notices him, stops, and stares back. Muttonchops? She hasn't seen those since— well, actually. Have they ever been in style in her lifetime? Blinking at him with a raised brow, she eventually twists again to turn to him, legs crossed.

With a tilt of her hand and a hand raised in delicate consideration, she starts to saunter over to the man, heels clicking with each step. Click, click, click, ever closer...

The distance is closed. ]

My. [ Her fingers flex, bare. Painted nails catch the light. ]

And here I thought all you naughty boys were being punished down in Hell. I see those demons are slacking. Shall I give you a lashing or three?

[ Yeah, she likes to play with her food. ]

[ VOLITION - Oh no.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Oh yes.

SUGGESTION: 5
EVEN: 42%
-1 If looks could kill ]

[ FAILURE

SUGGESTION - You should not have clicked that roll and trusted me. I've failed you.

1. Step on me, ma'am.
2. Please murder me. In like a sexy way.
3. (Start barking)
4. I don't want to do this anymore. Don't make me do this.

SUGGESTION - I'm truly sorry, brother. You know better than to interact with attractive women who could kill you. You *know* this is your weak point. Pick your poison. ]

Please murder me. In like a sexy way.

[ Sure, why not, there worse ways to die. ]

[ He's in luck. If there's anything Bayonetta enjoys half as much as a new dress, it's picking on boys smaller than her. A minx-like smile crosses her lips, gaze hooded and sultry. Maybe she will indulge him. It's not like you get little slaves like this that often. ]

The nerve to stare and ask! Something about you is big. I don't think it's your brain.

[ She knees him in the gut. Harry's lucky streak will continue if he decides to let it happen: a tall chair with plush seating and strong arms is there to catch him, and Bayonetta's aim has always been true. ]

Bad boys bark for forgiveness, my little pup.

[ He's got that wolfish handsome flair to him. Retro and gaudy. A real eye sore. She's almost fascinated. ]

[ HALF LIGHT - What the HELL was that? You could have dodged that!
SAVOIR FAIRE - Yeah you *could* have, but you didn't. This is some real embarrassing shit mate.
VOLITION - Do *not* bark for her. You have more dignity than this.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - No you fucking don't. Bark! ]

[ He goes down and gets caught by the chair, face pushed into the seating and his knees bruising against the floor. If there aren't people starring, they are only attempting to be polite about the situation at hand. No one is sensitive about sex in Hell, but outside of a sex club? Have some decency.

Trouble is, Harry doesn't respond to her. At the moment, there are two parts of him wrestling for the control. His pride and his degeneracy are at war and neither wants to let up. So for now he is stunned into a stupor. ]

( The shops are, for some reason, very enthusiastic about this clothes drive. Kate has to wonder just how much that guy on the network gave them in order to be this happy about giving away free stock. But she's not complaining too much — like many, several pieces of her wardrobe were rendered unwearable by recent events; if not because of the blood, because of the memories attached to them. So, while shopping isn't her favourite thing in the world, for once, she's not rushing to be done with this whole thing.

Which is how she comes to be craning her neck to take in all eight+ feet of the woman modelling a skirt suit combo, and thoroughly distracted from picking through a rack of jeans. )

... Can you move in that?

( Sure, that skirt has a slit, but it looks like a pain to really move in. Kate's never understood wanting to wear skirts, they seem way too restrictive. )

[Nightmares? Big fuckin' deal. He's spent years reliving every last one of these: every hallucinatory corpse on the pavement's got a familiar face, and half the time it's been his own fault. Travis Touchdown can stomach the immense amount of death that's gathered on the ground. And if there's a bit of a wince in his face as he passes a certain stain on the ground-- a man and a woman, unrecognizable and certainly younger than he is now-- that's between him and the single stunned onlooker he's just flipped off.

'A-a-a serial killer...' sputters the yokai.
'Not quite,' interjects a young blonde woman, unharmed and clad in a flowing white sundress, 'but not a bad guess, buddy.'

Travis swallows the lump in his throat and manages, somehow, to walk. Lipsticki's shrill laughter tugs him out of mulling over Jeane still being here, and he's about to advance upon her when... something... flies into her face first. Is that a doorknob.]

What the fuck?

[And a second later he sees Bayonetta: tall, and hot, and tall. He's only human: he gawks at her for a moment. Until Lipsticki, grumbling angrily, attempts to drive her clenched fist down onto the woman.

'Better'n the parade balloon, brother,' says Henry-- freshly 30 and still Irish, he supposes, joining Jeane in staring up at Lipsticki. 'You know how this boss fight works, right?']

Geez. It's my thread, quit telling me me what to do. Hey!

[The weapon at his side sparks to life, crackling electric-blue, and he charges. Lipsticki screams out in pain: there's a beam katana driven into the back of her hand and Some Guy yanking it out, glowering over (up?) at Bayonetta.]

Watch your back, lady!

Edited 2022-06-29 17:16 (UTC)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

June 2022 Test Drive

bayonetta 🌙 ... bayonetta

shopping!

no subject

no subject

cursed sharks

no subject

no subject

shopping

no subject

1/2

no subject

no subject

im actually taking morale damage writing this

shopping. ugh bayo, my love.

cursed corners hi eggie i had to