June 2022 Test Drive

[jigokumods]

MAIN NAVIGATION

1. CLEAN UP

The curse has broken, finally banishing the oppressive air around the city and the many sightless eyes of the accursed haniwa. Life will have to return to normal now but first there is lingering clean-up that must be attended to:

SHUTEN CLAN

The Shuten Clan is out in force to rebuild damaged storefronts. Eager oni appear in their festival happi, singing oni working tunes. You can pick up the words easily enough, join in and help out. The mood starts bright, but after a number of unlucky accidents there is less singing and more grumbling. The cursed energy left behind has made all of you much more prone to workplace accidents but the storefronts need to be scrubbed, broken glass needs sweeping, new furniture needs construction. There are any number of thumbs smashed by hammers, hands cut on saws, heads hit with falling debris or that board of wood you didn’t see someone carrying towards you. It’s a cursed day to be out on the job.

Rewards will come in the form of free drinks for a week from specific bars and a generous amount of chips for the casinos. If you aren’t of age to drink or gamble? Well… they’ll look the other way this time. Have fun.

It should be noted that the uniform -- a happi, a hachimaki, and fundoshi -- is required. The Shuten Clan is very traditional, after all.

TAMAMO CLAN

The bathhouses in Tamamo clan territory remain full of bloodied water. They need to be drained and scrubbed to make them new again. However, reaching the drains is a tricky business. You can’t simply reach in to pull out the plug, you will have to wade into the water to twist it free. Easy enough, right?

Unfortunately, residual curse energy has made this a very dangerous task. Phantasmal hands will reach out and try to drag you under as you get too close to the drain. The phantasms can be distracted, so you’ll need some teamwork to succeed. Your reward is a significant amount of free bath coupons. Some of the advertised baths even have “special” properties. Take the chance to relax, you probably need it.

Those that are rejuvenated in the newly purified baths will find themselves with seemingly limitless vigor. That vigor may sometimes manifest in the form of desperately needing to fuck the first thing willing to do so. Which might turn out somewhat embarrassing...

SUTOKU CLAN

The residual cursed energy in the Sutoku Alliance territory has congregated in their many arcades. The prizes in the UFO catcher machines seem off and they keep shifting around. If you happen to win a prize, the prize slot snaps shut on your hand with amazing force: the machine out for blood. To clear the curse, the prizes need to be removed from the machines and purified with the help of a local shrine maiden. Unfortunately, the key ring to open the machines has been stolen by some of the unruly prizes. You will need to use your UFO catcher skills to fish it back out.

Try not to lose any fingers.

Other machines are shooting tokens out of their coin slots at astonishingly painful speeds. A strange phenomenon, as even the machines that take swipe cards are doing it. Where are those tokens even coming from? You will have to get the machines open and give them a deep cleaning to get all the residual blood off the coins and mechanisms. You need the same keys that are stuck inside the UFO catcher…. Better hope you can fish out the one you need.

For your troubles, you will be given unlimited free plays for a month. Perfect for winning a totally-not-cursed prize for your sweetie.

ENMA DEPARTMENT

It’s the Department of the Enma’s turn to go begging for good will. They are considered to be mostly responsible for the way the cursed haniwa were handled in the first place. Enma souls should get out on the streets and see what the people need: Food, clean water, housing repairs and maintenance, as well as exorcisms. They’re all high on people’s priority lists and most people want it done pronto. Try not to get snappy with the angry people, the department’s reputation is on the line.

The Enma is slated to give a press conference at some point. It's up to the rest of the Department to assure that there will be reception to his words. They are likely to be of grave importance to the rest of the city.

A hard day’s work is its own reward, but you’ll also get a day pass to a theme park on the edge of the city – in the name of community outreach, of course.

2. GHOST SHARKS

The very streets themselves are treacherous with residual curses. The isonades may have been intimidated out of town for the moment but the anger of their ancestors lingers in the bloody puddles that still glisten in the streets. Come too close to these puddles and spectral sharks will lunge from beneath the surface: Blood for blood! Lives for lives!

While spectral in nature, the teeth on these sharks can still do real harm to anyone they lash out at. They don’t seem to take damage in kind, but will pop and disperse for a moment when struck. The ghostly sharks are being populated by a magic totem that has been partially buried in the dirt of a local park. Destroy it and the sharks will disappear.

Unfortunately, a pack of snotty local children have taken a shine to this magic totem. They are not keen to let you take it from them, nor break it. It’s theirs. It’s special. If you’re feeling brutish or cruel, you can fight the children or deceive them, but your boss would probably suggest you try to bargain with them for appearance’s sake. They’re entirely unreasonable though, as children can be, and it will be quite a chore to get them to agree to your terms.

3. CURSED CORNERS

There are certain corners and alleyways which are simply predisposed to gather cursed energy. These areas are still haunted enough to affect the reality around you. You may experience hallucinations or visions of lost loved ones, past regrets, personal failings. These visions are played out in the area for all to see. You will remain frozen in place until your moment is done, or someone brave comes to pull you out.

Now that the worst of it is over, some of the more morbid and voyeuristic members of the public may be lurking around these haunted areas, waiting to see what horrors will be unveiled. They have out their phones and their cameras to record the show.

The cruelest of the spectators provide commentary to their social media followings as they observe. Anything for that monetization!

The biggest of the streams is a kerakera onna who goes by her channel name: Lipsticki. She leans in over the rooftops to cackle loudly at people’s misfortunes and give petty, scathing commentary about their misdeeds and failings.

4. THE ENMA SPEAKS (PLOT RELEVANT)

Outside the hospital where the Enma was being treated, there is a huge press gathering. The judge arbiter has been deemed fit enough to release. Hungry for word, journalists from every publication swarm the area. Most press-outlets in the city are controlled by the Sutoku Alliance, who have a vested interested in interrogating the Enma.

A number of other onlookers have tacked on as well, including Lost Souls both old and new. Lost Souls may even find themselves ordered to attend the statement by their faction.

It is assumed that the Enma must have something of grave importance to say, after all.

The Enma approaches the podium. He is dressed in his usual suit, his crown, and his stern expression; it puts a hush over the crowd through its tremendous pressure alone. No questions have been asked, yet, but a statement has been prepared. He clears his throat:

"The cause of the curse, the enemy of Jigokucho, is... Haniyasu. The Department's focus will be shifting to determining our next action in regards to this entity. That is all."

Just like, the Enma's secretary and a retinue of armored shinigami move to flank the Enma and guide them to a waiting limo down the steps. The press yells their questions over one another, but are pushed back. The Enma doesn't even seem to perceive them, simply focusing on getting into the car.

Unfortunately, if you're a representative for one of the factions -- especially the Department of the Enma -- that makes you fair game to hound for questioning too. Do you stand your ground or try to run away?

[[banner art by s-tokimura]]

Welcome to the test drive meme!

• Threads here can be considered game canon.
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Comments

[windfalling]

[ Akiyama gives her a sympathetic smile. The mightiest warriors have been felled by the whims of children. He squats down to be more on the level of the kids. ]

So my friend here isn't being exactly truthful. You see, we're trying to save this world from destruction and that little figure right there is the key we need to save it. She was just trying to keep our mission top secret...Isn't that right?

[ There's nothing wrong with telling harmless lies to children in the name of preventing ghost sharks from eating people, right? And, to Akiyama's credit, they are listening intently to him. ]

[virtua]

[ She can't help gently bristling for a moment as he insinuates that she's lied to the children - but it's plain enough to see soon enough that she hasn't been thrown under the bus. Mima's seen enough cheap mall sentai show opening acts to know that owl-eyed look the kids get when he starts to paint his picture.

She's never been in kid's stuff, as far as her budding acting career goes - she certainly isn't used to that type of overacting now - but she's been to some auditions. Hopefully, that much experience is enough to carry her through as she stoops back down next to him, right into a handful of little woah!'s and so cool!'s. ]

Ahh, wait! [ Her tone is low and hushed, her eyes flitting between the children pressing in a bit closer to hear them and the stranger, and she lowers her voice a little further, ] But are you sure we can tell them?

[windfalling]

[ Good, he's glad she decided to play along. This is probably their best shot of getting the totem away from the kids without outright fighting children. ]

Hm...I think they're trustworthy enough. [ He turns to the kids with his hands clasped in front of him and his head cocked to the side. ] We can trust you with this secret, right? And you won't tell anyone else?

[ The silence is palpable and Akiyama starts to worry this is going to blow up in his face. The kids talk to each other and come back with: ]

Prove it!

[ He looks to Mima with a quirked eyebrow. Any ideas? He tries to make it obvious he isn't stalling by patting his jacket pockets, like he's looking for something. ]

[virtua]

Oh-- [ She catches on as soon as he looks to her, and she rests a reassuring hand on his arm, ] --it's okay! I can get mine.

[ .....not that she has a whole lot. An appropriately cheesy-looking CHAM! netsuke which has been rattling around in this jacket for months longer than it should have been, a pink resin crystalline heart which lights up when the key ring is clicked down, and a business card from some foreign film producer who she only slightly remembered mingling with.

She can't imagine it would be easy to spin the keychain into something suitably impressive here, labyrinth of slanting neon hemmed in by towers of glowing advertisements, so she pulls out the business card.

Which. Would still require her to be at the top of her game to sell.

Here goes nothing. ]

Look, [ She bows inward with the children as she presents the card, her tone low and conspiratorial, ] this card has our mission printed on it. Our instructions are written in another language to help keep them secret.

[ A highly secret code known as...............english.

Really?, says one high voice, fluting above the rest of the curious hum. A couple of impatient kids are already tugging skeptically at the card in her hands, bringing it close to their faces to inspect the sharp Times New Roman font face, trying to discern meaning from the words. ]

[windfalling]

[ He's relieved at how quick she is on her feet. Relief briefly washes over his face before he forces a neutral expression. Got to maintain the illusion at all costs. All he could feel in his pockets were his cigarettes, a lighter, and a packet of tissues. None of those would have been good at convincing them they were legit.

The kids seem to be buying it, at least. ]

Really. We have to keep everything pretty low profile... [ Something to seal the deal. ] Helping us out doesn't mean you'll be left empty-handed, either. We'll make sure you're properly rewarded, of course. Isn't that right?

[ There's a Don Quijote not far away. They've got something they can bribe reward the kids with, surely. ]

[virtua]

[ This was quite the setup for a bribe - but, when she thinks about it for a moment, it does make some measure of sense. If the kids thought the totem was special, some physical embodiment of something which was theirs and theirs alone, then they just had to make something more special. And what's more special to a bunch of kids than secret missions and saving the world?

Her business card improv appears to have gone down, at least. The kids who don't quite believe her can't prove the English characters don't actually spell out the recipe for some secret world-saving mission, or that the phone number printed does not lead to some secret agency of world-saving operatives. It seems to be enough to get their foot in the door, at least, even with the more skeptical among the little group of children bridling at the inset print of the little white square she's trying to sell them, and that's all they really need. ]

Of course. [ She tries to strike a balance: taking this half-lie as serious as he is, while also playing something open, a friendly face for the kids to engage with. ] We would never leave you all unrewarded for your help. You were supposed to get it after we were done with our mission... but if you give us a minute, and wait right here, we can see about getting it here sooner. Okay?