jigokufever | June 2022 Test Drive

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June 2022 Test Drive

1. CLEAN UP

The curse has broken, finally banishing the oppressive air around the city and the many sightless eyes of the accursed haniwa. Life will have to return to normal now but first there is lingering clean-up that must be attended to:

SHUTEN CLAN

The Shuten Clan is out in force to rebuild damaged storefronts. Eager oni appear in their festival happi, singing oni working tunes. You can pick up the words easily enough, join in and help out. The mood starts bright, but after a number of unlucky accidents there is less singing and more grumbling. The cursed energy left behind has made all of you much more prone to workplace accidents but the storefronts need to be scrubbed, broken glass needs sweeping, new furniture needs construction. There are any number of thumbs smashed by hammers, hands cut on saws, heads hit with falling debris or that board of wood you didn’t see someone carrying towards you. It’s a cursed day to be out on the job.

Rewards will come in the form of free drinks for a week from specific bars and a generous amount of chips for the casinos. If you aren’t of age to drink or gamble? Well… they’ll look the other way this time. Have fun.

It should be noted that the uniform -- a happi, a hachimaki, and fundoshi -- is required. The Shuten Clan is very traditional, after all.

TAMAMO CLAN

The bathhouses in Tamamo clan territory remain full of bloodied water. They need to be drained and scrubbed to make them new again. However, reaching the drains is a tricky business. You can’t simply reach in to pull out the plug, you will have to wade into the water to twist it free. Easy enough, right?

Unfortunately, residual curse energy has made this a very dangerous task. Phantasmal hands will reach out and try to drag you under as you get too close to the drain. The phantasms can be distracted, so you’ll need some teamwork to succeed. Your reward is a significant amount of free bath coupons. Some of the advertised baths even have “special” properties. Take the chance to relax, you probably need it.

Those that are rejuvenated in the newly purified baths will find themselves with seemingly limitless vigor. That vigor may sometimes manifest in the form of desperately needing to fuck the first thing willing to do so. Which might turn out somewhat embarrassing...

SUTOKU CLAN

The residual cursed energy in the Sutoku Alliance territory has congregated in their many arcades. The prizes in the UFO catcher machines seem off and they keep shifting around. If you happen to win a prize, the prize slot snaps shut on your hand with amazing force: the machine out for blood. To clear the curse, the prizes need to be removed from the machines and purified with the help of a local shrine maiden. Unfortunately, the key ring to open the machines has been stolen by some of the unruly prizes. You will need to use your UFO catcher skills to fish it back out.

Try not to lose any fingers.

Other machines are shooting tokens out of their coin slots at astonishingly painful speeds. A strange phenomenon, as even the machines that take swipe cards are doing it. Where are those tokens even coming from? You will have to get the machines open and give them a deep cleaning to get all the residual blood off the coins and mechanisms. You need the same keys that are stuck inside the UFO catcher…. Better hope you can fish out the one you need.

For your troubles, you will be given unlimited free plays for a month. Perfect for winning a totally-not-cursed prize for your sweetie.

ENMA DEPARTMENT

It’s the Department of the Enma’s turn to go begging for good will. They are considered to be mostly responsible for the way the cursed haniwa were handled in the first place. Enma souls should get out on the streets and see what the people need: Food, clean water, housing repairs and maintenance, as well as exorcisms. They’re all high on people’s priority lists and most people want it done pronto. Try not to get snappy with the angry people, the department’s reputation is on the line.

The Enma is slated to give a press conference at some point. It's up to the rest of the Department to assure that there will be reception to his words. They are likely to be of grave importance to the rest of the city.

A hard day’s work is its own reward, but you’ll also get a day pass to a theme park on the edge of the city – in the name of community outreach, of course.

2. GHOST SHARKS

The very streets themselves are treacherous with residual curses. The isonades may have been intimidated out of town for the moment but the anger of their ancestors lingers in the bloody puddles that still glisten in the streets. Come too close to these puddles and spectral sharks will lunge from beneath the surface: Blood for blood! Lives for lives!

While spectral in nature, the teeth on these sharks can still do real harm to anyone they lash out at. They don’t seem to take damage in kind, but will pop and disperse for a moment when struck. The ghostly sharks are being populated by a magic totem that has been partially buried in the dirt of a local park. Destroy it and the sharks will disappear.

Unfortunately, a pack of snotty local children have taken a shine to this magic totem. They are not keen to let you take it from them, nor break it. It’s theirs. It’s special. If you’re feeling brutish or cruel, you can fight the children or deceive them, but your boss would probably suggest you try to bargain with them for appearance’s sake. They’re entirely unreasonable though, as children can be, and it will be quite a chore to get them to agree to your terms.

3. CURSED CORNERS

There are certain corners and alleyways which are simply predisposed to gather cursed energy. These areas are still haunted enough to affect the reality around you. You may experience hallucinations or visions of lost loved ones, past regrets, personal failings. These visions are played out in the area for all to see. You will remain frozen in place until your moment is done, or someone brave comes to pull you out.

Now that the worst of it is over, some of the more morbid and voyeuristic members of the public may be lurking around these haunted areas, waiting to see what horrors will be unveiled. They have out their phones and their cameras to record the show.

The cruelest of the spectators provide commentary to their social media followings as they observe. Anything for that monetization!

The biggest of the streams is a kerakera onna who goes by her channel name: Lipsticki. She leans in over the rooftops to cackle loudly at people’s misfortunes and give petty, scathing commentary about their misdeeds and failings.

4. THE ENMA SPEAKS (PLOT RELEVANT)

Outside the hospital where the Enma was being treated, there is a huge press gathering. The judge arbiter has been deemed fit enough to release. Hungry for word, journalists from every publication swarm the area. Most press-outlets in the city are controlled by the Sutoku Alliance, who have a vested interested in interrogating the Enma.

A number of other onlookers have tacked on as well, including Lost Souls both old and new. Lost Souls may even find themselves ordered to attend the statement by their faction.

It is assumed that the Enma must have something of grave importance to say, after all.

The Enma approaches the podium. He is dressed in his usual suit, his crown, and his stern expression; it puts a hush over the crowd through its tremendous pressure alone. No questions have been asked, yet, but a statement has been prepared. He clears his throat:

"The cause of the curse, the enemy of Jigokucho, is... Haniyasu. The Department's focus will be shifting to determining our next action in regards to this entity. That is all."

Just like, the Enma's secretary and a retinue of armored shinigami move to flank the Enma and guide them to a waiting limo down the steps. The press yells their questions over one another, but are pushed back. The Enma doesn't even seem to perceive them, simply focusing on getting into the car.

Unfortunately, if you're a representative for one of the factions -- especially the Department of the Enma -- that makes you fair game to hound for questioning too. Do you stand your ground or try to run away?

[[banner art by s-tokimura]]

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NEWBIE TOP LEVELS

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Yes, yes, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. [ Kim rubs at the back of his head, sighing. No doubt it will bruise and he'll forget about it entirely until he's in the shower and ready to give his scalp a good scrub. Through his undercut, hairs shorn fine and close to the scalp, a red mark is already forming -- no blood, though, which he considers to be the important bit. ]

And impressive though it may be, it's not very effective. An umbrella would better suit our purposes. [ Or just a larger bucket. He twists round to look at her. ] We need to calm them down, somehow. Or maybe... block off the coin slots? Even some duct tape may slow it down, and that way, we can -- Duck!

[ On cue, the UFO machine spits another coin out at them, this time clearly aiming for their heads. These machines really aren't playing around. ]

Edited 2022-06-27 09:25 (UTC)

That's good. I doubt there's enough time for me to do first aid, anyway.

[There isn't any bleeding at least, and that's something to be thankful for. Though, she can feel her own bruises coming to fruition with how much her skin is throbbing right now. But they have a small moment of reprieve. For a second, anyway.]

We can block off the coin slots with a table or something. I'm sure they won't mind if we use their furniture for something like th--

[Of course they don't get a small break. Marie hardly ducks in time, and drops to her knees.]

Geez, this is like military training all over again.

[But enough was enough, and she motions her companion to follow her. Her other hand pointing at the couch that they could use as a cover to get their bearings again. Marie herself moving quite fast, and dodging what she can by using the other machines to block off another coin assault.

Once the couch is in sight, she practically dives behind it and breathes.]

I hope this couch doesn't want to eat us too.

...I really do wish I could reassure you, but I'm afraid I don't take anything's non-sentience for granted around here, [ Kim says once he's taken cover behind the couch as well. Just in case, he hastily prods at it with a gloved finger, but all he finds is a moth-bitten hole and some stuffing coming out - was somebody hiding something in here? that's an investigation for another day - and so he relaxes, just a bit. ] This one, however, seems to be safe.

[ He peers just around the corner of the couch. He has half a mind to just shoot the damn thing, if not for the fact that they would probably be charged quite a lofty sum for it, and Kim doesn't happen to be in possession of an abundance of funds. ]

I always imagined most military training to be a little more professional than this, [ he says dryly, though he packs that nugget of information away; military experience doesn't seem to be unusual here, but it's something of import anyhow. ]

Okay, how about this? Let's push this couch up against it to block it off. It can act as a shield until we get there, at least.

No... It's alright. I. Kind of figured with the sentient crane machines.

[It's just a matter of fact with this place, and now that she was here, she'd have to get used to it eventually. So, she's grateful when Kim prods at the couch. Half expecting for it to bite his hand or something, but again, when it doesn't she sighs in relief. Back pressed against the couch now, and just taking a second to breathe now that they were no longer at risk for death by coin.]

Oh, you'd be surprised. I'm the one that conducts the training, and this is the kind of thing that I would put them through. It's good training, you know. Really teaches someone how to dodge.

[Her words are said in a fairly playful tone, but she's serious. One of those teachers.]

Hm... Alright. That doesn't sound like a bad idea.

[She lifts her head up just slightly, peering across the room and pointing at the ufo machine that held the keys. Silently making a mental note as to where the machine was, before they start pushing this couch.]

Okay, so the keys are over there... [She pauses.] I gotta admit, my "luck" with crane games aren't too good. My coordination isn't as good as it used to be, so can I count on you to get them?

I'll give it a shot.

[ He is, to his mortification, excellent at these silly little ufo games. As it turns out, there are some transferrable skills from his other areas of expertise, and Kim is almost offended that they've come in handy in yet another official capacity here. He's supposed to be too old for silly little things like this.

Speaking of which... he glances over at Marie as he stations himself at the UFO machine, glancing a little worriedly behind him before he starts the game up, trying to focus on the glint of keys in the very corner, trapped between a variety of plush animals, some cute and some fascinatingly horrible. It had occurred to him that he expects military trainers to be a built older, people with a battle or two behind their belt, but that remark about her coordination cinches it. ]

I think you stole my line, however. You're a bit young to be complaining about your coordination going to seed, aren't you? [ Behind his thick lenses, his eyes track the claws grasping onto the ear of one of the plushies in the way of the keys. It is not necessary for their mission and he doesn't particularly want it, but he's the sort who enjoys winning for the sake of it. ] You're... what, in your early twenties?

[ Unless she's not human, and he's just made a fool of himself. ]

[This place, luckily, hasn't taken all of her power, and with her strength, she's able to push the couch forward with ease. Carefully placing it in a way where the coins can no longer shoot at them from where they are at the ufo crane game. They were safe for now, at least toward the backend of their bodies.

She stands guard for now, but her focus is turned back to Kim and the crane game. Silently watching as the claw shifts between these cute plushies, and maybe, just maybe, wishing she could have one of those plushies to remember this horrible day.]

Young...?

[Oh. Right. That catches her off guard a bit. If only because she was so used to people back home knowing how old she truly was. She almost wants to pretend to go along with what he's thinking. But, she smiles, and decides to tell the truth.]

No, I wish! I'm around fifty years old, but I appreciate your compliment, though. It makes me feel young again.

[She pauses.]

By the way... You're pretty good at crane games. You'll have to teach this old woman your secrets, someday.

You're fifty?

[ Kim balks at that, looking at Marie's youthful face, as young and spry as if she were still in her twenties. When he looks at the crane machine, he sees his reflection staring dolefully back at him, his lined forehead and receding hairline, the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes when he smiles. It's not so bad. It's good to see himself age. It means that he is, in fact, living long enough to get older.

But still... ]

How is that possible? You don't look a year past twenty-three.

[ He reaches into the prize slot, grabbing at the plushie. He twists it around to face him and regards it with a thoughtful hum. ] Mm... this is one of the cuter ones, I suppose.

[ He holds it out to Marie, a sweet little black cat, squishy to the touch and perhaps ideal as a pillow. ] Want it? Or are you too old for these things at your age?

[That seems to be a common reaction, and she's gotten used to it by now. The woman can only smile at Kim, and offer him a shoulder squeeze in unity. Despite her young appearance, she was still old, and that was enough for some sort of solidarity. Happy to have found someone close in age.]

Don't look too hard in the mirror. Honestly, I got lucky, and come from a world where magic stints your growth at a certain age, and at that point, you can choose to alter your appearance or stay forever twenty! It's common back home to have someone be, say, 1000 years old, and still look twenty. You get used to it.

[While Jigokucho wasn't bad, per say, she did miss being home.

Her attention is shifted back to Kim, however, once he offers that black cat in question. Marie staring at it for a moment, before she reaches out for it without hesitation. She holds it close to her chest, and smiles.]

Nah, I'll take it. I'll put it in my apartment and cherish the time we were assaulted by coins!

[On cue, the machine spits out another coin that hits the back of the couch.]

Anyway, grab those damn keys and let's get working on these machines!

A thousand...?

[ God. that sounds hellish. He's only just past forty now, and he's already exhausted. But at least he doesn't doubt it on the face of it, not anymore; he's run into so many outlandish things here that he's taken to simply judging things at face value. If he is made the fool for believing someone that's just pulling his leg, that's certainly not his fault. He shakes his head. ]

Where I'm from, you're lucky if you make it to seventy. Which I intend to, mind you, but if I hadn't already been in a place like this for the last four months, I would call you a liar.

[ Luckily, it only takes a little concentration and dedication to get the keys out, alongside another four or five plushies, and he brandishes them with perhaps more enthusiasm than he means to, as he lets out a vindicated cry of: ] Got them! Finally. Let's get this sorted out, and then we can get out of here.

Do stay alive, sir. You are quite the entertaining one, you know.

[She could absolutely find a friend in Kim, considering how close in age they are, and their struggles with the current situation. She'll certainly have to ask him to go out for a drink after all of this nonsense, if they make it out of here fairly unscathed. Her head still throbbing from coins being spat out her and all.]

Well done! Your coordination sure came in handy.

[As for the plushies... She stares at them for a long while, and. Actually reaches for a few of them to wipe the blood off of them. She stores it into her many pockets of her cardigan -- well, tries to, at least. She certainly looks silly, but she didn't want those plushies to go to waste. Not after all his hard work!]

... Er, don't mind me. I'll just be taking these back to my apartment.

[Now that they had the keys, though, she goes to one machine in particular, that had spat out the barrage of coins. Her eyes narrowing at the machine, and shoving her hand against the coin slot before it can spit the coins at their faces. Her hand tightly grasping it, and making sure that coins hit her hand, rather than their heads again.]

So what exactly are we suppose to do? I'm afraid I'm not familiarized with... You know. Exorcising a sentient machine.

Entertaining? That's a first, [ Kim says wryly - it's not a lie either; he's famously a spoilsport, and takes great pleasure in his reputation of being a stalwart but overall dull presence at the Precinct - but he'll certainly take what he can get. The people calling him dull usually aren't the ones accompanying him on horrible missions like this one anyway.

He watches her gather the stuffed animals, but liberates one of them for himself -- it's a particularly ugly one, as plushies go, but he tucks it away in his bag without a word. Did he just take that? It looks like Kim himself might even deny it. ]

The rest of it is up to the local shrine maidens. They'll come in here and do that part for us. [ He hums thoughtfully. ] It occurs to me that that may be a good skill to learn, but I can't say with any confidence that I would be much good at it. I don't consider myself to be a spiritual person as a general rule.

[The plushie that Kim takes catches her attention, and she can't help but peer over his shoulder a bit to take a look at it. It was particularly... Goofy looking, to say the least, but to Marie, it had a bit of charm to it as well. In fact, finding it a bit cute. Certainly a match for her new companion, as she finds herself grinning all the while.]

Didn't take you as the type to take a plushie. Gotta say, that plushie is as charming as you are.

[Now that they've finally gotten the keys, though, she finds herself relaxing. Just. Taking this moment to finally flop on one of the couches, where she narrowly avoids having a stray coin hit her head. It just flings off the couch, and onto the floor. Something that Marie just ignores for the time being, so she can take a breather and relax.]

Honestly, I'm not one for religion, or spiritual stuff. It's never suited me, personally, but more power to them. ... Literally.

[If they could purify these crane machines, then she's certainly grateful.]

Guess we should start opening up these machines and powering them down, huh? No rest for the wicked.

Oh -- no, no, it's not for me.

[ The words slip out of him before he can think about it, his reflexive desire to save face coming immediately into play. Which is unfortunate, because now that he has to explain why he took it, the reality of the situation is even more embarrassing than being a grown man fond of little dolls. He valiantly ignores the fact that he can feel his ears beginning to burn. ]

It's, ah, for a colleague of mine. He's the sort to be amused by such things... and it suits him. If you ever meet him, I believe you'll understand what I mean. [ And for the joke that it is, he hopes. ]

Anyway, you won't be hearing any arguments from me. I never even believed in the supra-natural until I came here, at which point it would be a greater sign of insanity for me not to believe in it. [ He walks past Marie's prone form on the couch, though he is privately a little jealous. He's been hunched over these machines and shot at by coins for far too long for his liking. Still, best to get it done, and then he can relax properly. He moves onto the next one, and the next, prying them all open. ]

We'll be done in no time.

[ One does try to snap back at him, cheeky little bastard, and so he kicks it back with the toe of his big, stompy boots. It doesn't hurt the machine by any stretch of the imagination, but it does at least bring him some personal satisfaction. ]

[There's a look of utter amusement upon her face, but for his sake, she holds back a laugh that wants to escape from her. Never having thought she could make Kim stumble on his words, since he seemed so composed. It was honestly amusing to her, him trying to save face, but she doesn't say a single word after his explanation. Simply moving on, to let him avoid the embarrassment that he may feel for wanting the plushie in the first place.]

A colleague, huh? Well, if this colleague of yours doesn't want this plushie, I'll happily take it off your hands.

[From the couch, she watches as Kim begins to work on the machines. Unsurprised that one of them seems to have tried to bite him in the process. About to stand up to deal with said machine, before he does it himself. His efforts prompting her to clap slowly, nodding her head in silent agreement at his action. It was certainly something that she would do.]

I don't mind helping you know. Just throw me the keys, and I'll get started on the other machines~ It wouldn't be fair if you were the only one working.

[With that, she does stand up, and offers her hand out to grab the keys from Kim. It was suppose to be a joint effort, after all, and she couldn't just leave him hanging out to dry.]

I will be sure to bear in mind that any and all leftover plushies will be turned into your loving care, [ Kim says, regaining his equilibrium. Really, they're of exceptionally good quality, far better than anything he'd had when he was a kid. If he was the sort of person who wanted to relive a lost childhood, maybe he'd liberate one for himself as well. Because he is not, he doesn't -- or at least, he won't unless he sees one he really likes, but he doubts it.

He does, however, toss her the keys. ]

Here. And while we work, perhaps you can tell me a little more about what you'd mentioned before. [ He neatly ducks as one of the cranes shoots out, trying to grab at him, only succeeding in just barely snagging at the cowlick he's never been able to contain atop his head. ] You're a military trainer back home, you said?

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June 2022 Test Drive

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