jigokufever | June 2022 Test Drive

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June 2022 Test Drive

1. CLEAN UP

The curse has broken, finally banishing the oppressive air around the city and the many sightless eyes of the accursed haniwa. Life will have to return to normal now but first there is lingering clean-up that must be attended to:

SHUTEN CLAN

The Shuten Clan is out in force to rebuild damaged storefronts. Eager oni appear in their festival happi, singing oni working tunes. You can pick up the words easily enough, join in and help out. The mood starts bright, but after a number of unlucky accidents there is less singing and more grumbling. The cursed energy left behind has made all of you much more prone to workplace accidents but the storefronts need to be scrubbed, broken glass needs sweeping, new furniture needs construction. There are any number of thumbs smashed by hammers, hands cut on saws, heads hit with falling debris or that board of wood you didn’t see someone carrying towards you. It’s a cursed day to be out on the job.

Rewards will come in the form of free drinks for a week from specific bars and a generous amount of chips for the casinos. If you aren’t of age to drink or gamble? Well… they’ll look the other way this time. Have fun.

It should be noted that the uniform -- a happi, a hachimaki, and fundoshi -- is required. The Shuten Clan is very traditional, after all.

TAMAMO CLAN

The bathhouses in Tamamo clan territory remain full of bloodied water. They need to be drained and scrubbed to make them new again. However, reaching the drains is a tricky business. You can’t simply reach in to pull out the plug, you will have to wade into the water to twist it free. Easy enough, right?

Unfortunately, residual curse energy has made this a very dangerous task. Phantasmal hands will reach out and try to drag you under as you get too close to the drain. The phantasms can be distracted, so you’ll need some teamwork to succeed. Your reward is a significant amount of free bath coupons. Some of the advertised baths even have “special” properties. Take the chance to relax, you probably need it.

Those that are rejuvenated in the newly purified baths will find themselves with seemingly limitless vigor. That vigor may sometimes manifest in the form of desperately needing to fuck the first thing willing to do so. Which might turn out somewhat embarrassing...

SUTOKU CLAN

The residual cursed energy in the Sutoku Alliance territory has congregated in their many arcades. The prizes in the UFO catcher machines seem off and they keep shifting around. If you happen to win a prize, the prize slot snaps shut on your hand with amazing force: the machine out for blood. To clear the curse, the prizes need to be removed from the machines and purified with the help of a local shrine maiden. Unfortunately, the key ring to open the machines has been stolen by some of the unruly prizes. You will need to use your UFO catcher skills to fish it back out.

Try not to lose any fingers.

Other machines are shooting tokens out of their coin slots at astonishingly painful speeds. A strange phenomenon, as even the machines that take swipe cards are doing it. Where are those tokens even coming from? You will have to get the machines open and give them a deep cleaning to get all the residual blood off the coins and mechanisms. You need the same keys that are stuck inside the UFO catcher…. Better hope you can fish out the one you need.

For your troubles, you will be given unlimited free plays for a month. Perfect for winning a totally-not-cursed prize for your sweetie.

ENMA DEPARTMENT

It’s the Department of the Enma’s turn to go begging for good will. They are considered to be mostly responsible for the way the cursed haniwa were handled in the first place. Enma souls should get out on the streets and see what the people need: Food, clean water, housing repairs and maintenance, as well as exorcisms. They’re all high on people’s priority lists and most people want it done pronto. Try not to get snappy with the angry people, the department’s reputation is on the line.

The Enma is slated to give a press conference at some point. It's up to the rest of the Department to assure that there will be reception to his words. They are likely to be of grave importance to the rest of the city.

A hard day’s work is its own reward, but you’ll also get a day pass to a theme park on the edge of the city – in the name of community outreach, of course.

2. GHOST SHARKS

The very streets themselves are treacherous with residual curses. The isonades may have been intimidated out of town for the moment but the anger of their ancestors lingers in the bloody puddles that still glisten in the streets. Come too close to these puddles and spectral sharks will lunge from beneath the surface: Blood for blood! Lives for lives!

While spectral in nature, the teeth on these sharks can still do real harm to anyone they lash out at. They don’t seem to take damage in kind, but will pop and disperse for a moment when struck. The ghostly sharks are being populated by a magic totem that has been partially buried in the dirt of a local park. Destroy it and the sharks will disappear.

Unfortunately, a pack of snotty local children have taken a shine to this magic totem. They are not keen to let you take it from them, nor break it. It’s theirs. It’s special. If you’re feeling brutish or cruel, you can fight the children or deceive them, but your boss would probably suggest you try to bargain with them for appearance’s sake. They’re entirely unreasonable though, as children can be, and it will be quite a chore to get them to agree to your terms.

3. CURSED CORNERS

There are certain corners and alleyways which are simply predisposed to gather cursed energy. These areas are still haunted enough to affect the reality around you. You may experience hallucinations or visions of lost loved ones, past regrets, personal failings. These visions are played out in the area for all to see. You will remain frozen in place until your moment is done, or someone brave comes to pull you out.

Now that the worst of it is over, some of the more morbid and voyeuristic members of the public may be lurking around these haunted areas, waiting to see what horrors will be unveiled. They have out their phones and their cameras to record the show.

The cruelest of the spectators provide commentary to their social media followings as they observe. Anything for that monetization!

The biggest of the streams is a kerakera onna who goes by her channel name: Lipsticki. She leans in over the rooftops to cackle loudly at people’s misfortunes and give petty, scathing commentary about their misdeeds and failings.

4. THE ENMA SPEAKS (PLOT RELEVANT)

Outside the hospital where the Enma was being treated, there is a huge press gathering. The judge arbiter has been deemed fit enough to release. Hungry for word, journalists from every publication swarm the area. Most press-outlets in the city are controlled by the Sutoku Alliance, who have a vested interested in interrogating the Enma.

A number of other onlookers have tacked on as well, including Lost Souls both old and new. Lost Souls may even find themselves ordered to attend the statement by their faction.

It is assumed that the Enma must have something of grave importance to say, after all.

The Enma approaches the podium. He is dressed in his usual suit, his crown, and his stern expression; it puts a hush over the crowd through its tremendous pressure alone. No questions have been asked, yet, but a statement has been prepared. He clears his throat:

"The cause of the curse, the enemy of Jigokucho, is... Haniyasu. The Department's focus will be shifting to determining our next action in regards to this entity. That is all."

Just like, the Enma's secretary and a retinue of armored shinigami move to flank the Enma and guide them to a waiting limo down the steps. The press yells their questions over one another, but are pushed back. The Enma doesn't even seem to perceive them, simply focusing on getting into the car.

Unfortunately, if you're a representative for one of the factions -- especially the Department of the Enma -- that makes you fair game to hound for questioning too. Do you stand your ground or try to run away?

[[banner art by s-tokimura]]

Welcome to the test drive meme!

Threads here can be considered game canon.
Characters can be recruited to do work for any faction until they're given their official assignment.
New characters can link their toplevels here!
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Reserves are open until July 5th
NEWBIE TOP LEVELS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Kawase response to Minakami's silent admonishment with a scoff. As if Minakami had prepared him at all for this nonsense. ]

Minakami and I can go plenty of time without seeing each other, you know... [Shockingly, he doesn't mean that as a condemnation... though maybe the casual tone of it was damning on its own. As if Kawase wasn't happy every time that Tamamori showed up to the cafe, and hadn't already made himself deal with Minakami's avoidance.]

Keroko...? [Hm. Strange. Though Frog Man didn't really suit him either, in Kawase's opinion. Not that that was extremely relevant.

Eventually, he gently tries to pry Tamamori off him, at least, like, a little??? So he could actually participate in the conversation (Seriously, it was only two months, he couldn't imagine Tama missing him that much...) And it gave him the chance to shake his leg half-heartedly to get Frog Man off, though his scowl talked a bigger game than his actual effort.] Someone like you couldn't have helped with that situation anyway. I would've just thrown you out the door if you did, and I could've saved myself some grief... [He says with a sigh.]

[Minakami looks away at Kawase's statement, the closest thing to a flinch -- casual or not, intended or not, it hits its mark. He murmurs,] It doesn't matter. We're all here now, aren't we?

[Hallucination explained more and less than it should have; he can't think of a time when one of them has been this... talkative? Or solid-looking? Minakami steps around (so that their group's weird little tableau isn't,, entirely blocking the entranceway,,,) and he bobs his head politely at Frog Man.]

Is that so? I'm glad to meet you as well. If you were hiding, that just means you were safe, no?

['That situation'... it's not that he isn't still curious about the details, especially from Kawase's point of view, but that's maybe not a conversation for the foyer of a coffee shop.]

Ah -- no, I believe Frog Man means the storm that plagued this city last month... [Also something that's strange to talk about, only a week out from it.]

[ There's something...odd, about the energy. Tama doesn't mind being pried off, and accepts it easily because it means he did embarrass Kawase with his shameless behavior after all- but it's surreal, seeing that thrum of. Complications already present within both Minakami and Kawase. Had something hap...something always happened. It almost made him tired, just thinking that thought. ] C'mon...Melody-san said I can take the rest of the day off. This is a 'rare occurrence'. [ He turned over his shoulder to wave to his boss with his hat- she jingled a giggle and waved right back, so at least he wasn't making it up? Look how responsible he's being! ] Thaaank youuu, Melody-saaan!

[ Somewhere, between ushering his two...best friends out the door, Frog Man seemed to disappear; it could have been the exhaustive experience of reorienting to the frog's presence, or just the weighty subject matter he now had to reacquaint to, it was hard to say which was the more likely culprit. He didn't shoo the pair much further than the glass windows at the front of the store, however, because of course he still intended to go somewhere to celebrate Kawase's existence, even more if Kawase didn't want it to be a big deal. ] Kawase, this is important- what do you remember before you showed up here? Have we been missing for two months? Bukubuku-kun was telling me, apparently sometimes souls get stuck, or something like that, and don't remember things correctly. It's had me worried this entire time!!

[If there was anything out of the ordinary about the energy between them-- if he knew his remark had somehow hit a target-- Kawase didn't seem to notice, or react. This was just how it had always been between them, wasn't it...? It was normal.]

So there's still rain even in Hell, huh...? [The sigh he let out was deeper than usual-- though he guessed it wouldn't be much of a hell, if there wasn't.

Despite his confusion over 'Melody-san,' Kawase only looks mildly annoyed as Tama hurried both of them out the door. But at least it's the kind he lets pass without argument.]

Eh...? [His eyes raised at Tamamori's question, and he tilts his head a bit, apparently bored already with the strange question.] ...The last thing I remember was leaving the Kanda river... You were insisting we had to get back to the city as soon as possible. So I had no way of knowing you'd been here two months.

[Well, it's not as if he hadn't just had the thought about things that shouldn't be said in front of strangers, even Tama's boss. He lets himself get shooed outdoors, even though it's losing the tiny thread of defense between him and... things that need to be said.]

[Before that, though, the news that somehow, no time had passed, and neither Madam nor his parents have been worrying that he's dead or missing. It loosens a knot he's been carrying since he's arrived.]

...Like 'The World Eight Hundred Thousand Years Later', then. The Traveller experiences weeks and months of travel through the ages, yet only three hours passes in his own time...

[The Kanda river. From Tama telling him about the train derailment, that must have been how both of them had survived the fall. Even though obviously Tama had walked away from the fall intact, knowing Kawase did so as well is a bigger load off his mind than he expects, especially alongside to the prior news about the missing two months. Minakami leans against the glass, relieved.]

The last thing I remember from the capital was the rains stopping, and boarding a tram. It was a while after... Tamamori found me in the theatre. It sounds as if we all "left" at the same time, yes?

[ That was all correct...or correct enough for Tama to accept, anyway. He'd avoided bringing up the river given everything, after all! It was...still easier to take responsibility than deal with the possibility he'd forgotten that detail for a reason. ] Yeah...I was worried the train murder would cause even more issues...and then Kawase said that shameless thing, and...

[ Ah. Right. He'd sort of lost his nerve about discussing 'that shameless thing', maybe even moreso after the...incident on the network at the start of June. His deadpan was very earned, as was the jabbing poke he gave to Kawase's arm. ] I already told Minakami about that, so there's no sneaking your way out of it. That, and everything else that happened. [ A very tender pause; Tama glances back over to Minakami, at the bruise still stubbornly fading on his face, and looks a little more subdued than usual. ] ...well, most of it. It was a lot to keep track of...

T-'Train murder'...?! [What the fuck is that. More important than the potential worry about Minakami already knowing about that, why are you saying it that way.] You can just say it got derailed... it was your fault, anyway.

[Still, just because he was-- more, okay, with Tamamori touching him, he didn't exactly appreciate the arm jabbing, and he bats Tama's hand away with a sneer.]

Sneaking away...? [That one actually does take him a moment to think about-- Ah, but there was only thing Tamamori would call 'shameless,' wasn't there? He'd been so flustered about it when Kawase had returned to shore.

Mm. But.

It seemed a lot had already changed, after he'd spoken something so impulsively, on the day he was supposed to die, until now.]

Ah... I'm surprised you know what it meant. You even still remember it. That's surprisingly brazen of you. [The smile on his face became wicked, though his eyes were half-lidded. He took a few steps as if to start walking, like he knew wherever the hell they were going to go.]

I don't know why you'd remember, though. [He sounds exasperated.] It was just a joke, you know. [It wasn't.] Like I'd do something like that... And now you've dragged Minakami into this. How embarrassing.

[He catches Tamamori's look with a troubled look of his own, thinking of what he'd heard from Tama about everything, each piece of the puzzle more alarming than the last (even with the so-called train murder making him want to just lie directly on the ground again). It had seemed so simple, talking about this moment at the bonfire, but now--]

...

[It's not as if he hadn't thought Kawase would say something like that. Mina had said as much, after all; the twist of unhappy vindication is expected. He finally looks directly at Kawase, at the look on his face.]

Is that really what you have to say? [His voice is quiet. Maybe it's the frazzled tension on his nerves -- the bus ride isn't enough for him to put a barrier between now and something less than half an hour ago.] Tamamori didn't "drag" me into it. Don't put the onus on him.

[ Maybe in an hour or so, Tama would realize the irony of him motioning for Minakami to stand down, but for the time being he was too focused to understand the comedy of it. He moved in front of Kawase right after, trying to block his meandering off, staring up at him with a grim intensity...mostly cut by the cheery uniform. ] Everything was much more recent for you, right? Then you should know that lying isn't going to work, better than anyone. [ He crossed his arms. ] If you insist, then I'll just have to be honest for you. Would you rather that?

Then again, [ Tama turned to the side, and the scene changed- this wasn't a simple argument, but a spat between a foreign prince and his stubborn aide, with his retaining knight standing in attendance. The stern look turned to a glower, and he jabbed his overly ornate scepter in to Kawase's sternum. ] I've already come to my own conclusion, before you even arrived. I won't settle for any less than both of you! [ He tapped the shoulder against his shoulder, like a yakuza with a baseball bat. If he was going to be labeled as the spoiled brat, then damn right he was going to weaponize it to his benefit!! ] And it's much too late to change my mind, so you'll just have to learn to accept it!

[All at once the affected amusement disappears from his face, like a stain being wiped up, when Minakami looks at him like that. His face was like stone, watching him back like an owl, searching for intention where he'd never been able to find it. His expression flattens out with a glare of annoyance when Tamamori inserts himself in his way, paying little mind to their sudden presence inside a throne room.]

Honesty...? [He repeats the word blankly, as if he had never heard of such a thing. A part of him felt a stab of guilt at Tamamori's words, like he was taken everything they'd done and said those last two days for granted. He sort of was. But he couldn't stop himself from picking at the wound, until everything was nothing more than a bloody mess.]

Fine. I don't mind being honest for a bit... I wouldn't mind a certain someone telling the truth, for once. [Well, he wasn't going to be obvious, but the implication was clear.

His smile lit up like a flame yet again, dangerous and unbearable if you stood too close. But the gleam of his eye remained normal, just like it had the entire conversation.]

Does that mean you told Minakami why we were on our way out of the Capital...? About that future we created? [It's too impersonal to be speaking about them; Hanazawa, Hikawa and himself were the only ones responsible. But he knew Tamamori wouldn't have; he was too soft for things like that, when a simple explanation was just fine.

Kawase steps one foot around Tamamori, turning around with a sweep of his tunic so he was facing the both of them with one hand tucked in his pocket, and not at the mercy of Tama's little scepter.]

Did you ever tell Tamamori-kun why he got the hashihime in the first place? Or about the 'compensation' she took? [He looks at Minakami, the look of his eyes turning dark.] Were you ever gonna tell him you asked me to take care of him if you died, just now? Did you even tell him if you wanted a situation like this...? It must be easier to tell yourself you do until I show up.

[That seemed to be the heart of the matter he was getting at, under all the thorns he was trying to inflict. The anger melted away, but it just made Kawase look like he was pretending to look troubled, and failing.] So how about you tell the truth, for once? If you think I must have more to say, why don't you go first?

[ It's always like this with Kawase. Always combat and fighting and scraping by and struggling, and Tama always has to wonder how he's not exhausted all the time. The answer he'd found, of course, was that Kawase was at the end of his rope, dangling just as precariously as Minakami, but it only made him feel...more monstrous by comparison. ]

Don't give yourself credit for something I caused all on my own. I told him what he needed to know, and he still worried more that you were going to reject all of this. Rightly so, it turns out. [ The hallucination was ill-fitting now, but lingered, even as its edges frayed- he pitched the scepter to Kawase's feet, but on one of its clattering bounces it had turned to a sword; it might have seemed random, but he'd never forget it even if he'd only seen it for a matter of moments during that horrible debate. Of course, the katana wasn't really there, but the symbol of it was enough. ] If you think your future's damned to turn out the same after everything we went through, then the same's bound to happen to me. It wasn't that long ago for you, so you should still remember how to use it.

[If Kawase is burning out, Minakami turns cold as ice. Fitting, maybe, when the hallucination covers him in plate and chainmail, though the weight at his hip is a wakizashi, not some European longsword. Even with Tamamori's interjection (hinting more at whatever future the two of them had seen, so frightening that Tama would rather lock himself away than risk Minakami knowing) he goes still, like a hollow suit of armor instead of whatever role had been assigned to him in this dramatis personae. The discordant noise of the scepter/katana crashing to the ground brings him back to ground, but only just.]

[Two months ago, when him and Tama were running heedlessly out of the funeral grounds, and starting to unpick the knot that had been their childhood. He'd said, 'I thought you wanted to leave it behind. When we left the village, we could just start over. All three of us.' Start over, without any of the hard parts, except the hard parts were the only thing they had left.]

How do you know about...

[Out of all the nightmares he'd seen in the storm, right now none of them measure up to this: Kawase looking at him with scorn, accusing him of the blood on his hands in front of Tamamori. In a way, it's a relief: All the discordant emotions that rose to the surface as anger crack in half, leaving him defenseless.]

The 'compensation'...? I've been trying to make up for that ever since. Even if nothing can make up for what I did to both of you -- why do you think... why do you think I... it should have been me.

[It wasn't even satisfying when pieces started falling apart. He's not sure it ever is, but it was just his wretched, filthy nature. If it was possible to change reality, little by little... then it should've just changed for the two of them. They'd been perfectly fine here, together, for two months.

Kawase looks down at the sword at his feet-- that dingy, cheap, scrap of metal that he'd been handed to end a man's life. He's impressed Tamamori's hallucinations can imitate it so easily... but well, he was a writer for a reason. He stoops down for a moment to pick up the katana, shockingly unperturbed by having to pick something up off the ground.]

That old man shopkeep that wanted you to die... That's how I know. [He wasn't sure if that man had ever figured it out from himself; but seeing that night's events as they were through his eyes, not just stuck on the bridge until he was shivering in the rain... it made the sequence of events pretty clear.

He looked at the sword, though he didn't really remember it enough to remember the details. But still, instead of even pretending to swing or behead either of them, Kawase turns the blade around in his hands without hesitation, and held it to the side of his own neck. It wasn't like it could do anything, and there was clearly no intent behind the gesture; it was like it was just a statement of fact.]

Don't flatter yourself... without you, Tamamori'd be dead. That was the point, wasn't it? [His voice is already softer, like he's already flickered out. It wasn't even petty, just stated; as far as Kawase could tell, it'd all worked out.] But you must have some delusion of your own if you think you owe me anything. As if I'd want you dead for no reason...

[He switches his glance to Tamamori, and it's enough to finally let the barest hints of strain appear in the corner of his eye, like a child accepting they're being scolded.] ...I'm not someone that can change reality like you.

[It doesn't matter if there's no intent behind the gesture -- if Minakami's thinking at all, he might reason that if Tamamori's hallucinations can make something as solid-seeming as Frog Man, for all he knows it could make live steel out of nothing. But he isn't thinking, not the second he sees Kawase raise the blade to his neck.]

[He darts past Tamamori, in a smooth motion drawing the wakizashi one-handed at his belt. He can't disarm Kawase like this, not without risking driving the blade into his neck himself, but he can close the distance, jostling Kawase enough to throw him off-balance and lock their swords together.]

[He stops there for a beat, almost eye to eye with Kawase.]

...then he didn't tell you everything. Tamamori wasn't the only one who would have died. [He's not out of breath, but he speaks in a whisper anyway.] I've let you think you would have been a murderer for fifteen years.

[There. If he'd wanted either Kawase's or his own defenses to crack, when he'd first tried to talk to him -- there it was.]

[The sound of screeching steel suddenly scrapes against his ears, and suddenly Kawase's stumbled a step back from the lock, and Minakami's standing right in front of him. Even without contact, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, and he stares back at Minakami, eyes wide with nothing but genuine surprise. His own sword was easy to lower away from his neck, though even if he weren't weaker than Mina, there were other things on his mind.]

W-What...? [What was that for? Why would he...? It's not... like he was really going to do anything. The sudden action, as if Minakami was a samurai right out of the war, was leagues easier to understand than the news that he should've died in that time loop.

He swallows thick, catching his breath.] ...But it's true, isn't it? [He can hardly remember what he'd been thinking at the time, let alone in another timeline. But he'd been desperate, and scared, and he knew here, in this timeline, he'd set off back home knowing he could handle it alone, knowing how much he had to keep it a secret.]

It's not like I'm innocent now, anyway. What's the difference between thinking I was for fifteen years, and knowing I am for ten...? It makes no difference to me.

[He has an opportunity here, while Kawase is thrown off, to simply reach a hand up and wrench the sword directly out of his hands. Minakami never really thinks in terms of his relative strength -- there had been a time when people (visitors to the inn, usually, but sometimes even other people from the village) would ask his parents when they'd send him to the army as well. His father had always demurred, but -- maybe that had contributed to him trying for the Imperial University, beyond just following his friends to the capital. To get away from those expectations.]

[Regardless, he doesn't do so. Part of it is that something in Kawase's shaken expression makes it hard for him to back down, even though he's aware they're having this standoff in broad daylight with Tamamori behind him; Tamamori who must have been hoping for a simpler resolution than watching the two of them in freefall. And part of it is -- after hearing weeks ago what Kawase had been planning... maybe it's too naive, but maybe Minakami would like to see him lower the sword himself, without being forced to.]

[Minakami shakes his head, helplessly.]

It's not murder if you're saving someone. [He falters, but carries on.] The difference is... in the other loops, he followed you. I think... he thought you were going to run away.

[He stops before he can finish that sentence as 'run away too' -- even for Mina, Kawase's mother is barely more than a blurred face seen from afar, but she was still someone not to be talked about -- but the abrupt silence hangs in the air.]

[Run away. Run away. He'd never had the thought before. Not even as a child, or looking back now. It hadn't... been a possibility he'd even considered, not in the face of smudged memories, and the sounds of screaming and yelling. He'd held Kawase's arm so tight that day it'd left a bruise.]

So it was... [So it was his fault. So it had been his father... He'd never had any idea what had really happened that night, but-- he'd never thought it was because... because his father had followed him there, in the downpour. That sneaking out that night had meant putting both of his friends in danger, risking Tamamori's life, and forcing Minakami to go through time again, and again, and again.

He can't help but laugh a little. An involuntary and unsettling sort of thing, as he kept looking at Minakami without really looking at him. Every part of him tensed up, and he held the sword until his knuckles turned white, and his hand started to shake.]

How funny... [There's the usual faked-casualness forced into his words, but it's a pretty pathetic attempt.] All I wanted to do... was tell Tamamori-kun not to tell anyone what he saw. [He'd thought that would make sure Tama would be safe from him, but it turned out he was wrong again. He felt sick to his stomach.]

...When I killed him, all I wanted was to make it up to Hanazawa. I wasn't protecting either of you. [Not like he should've. He hadn't even known he should've at the time.] If I was I never would've gone to the bridge that night. Isn't that right...?

[ He'd tried to ignore it. Tried to lash out past it, interject and right reality even, but the hallucination wasn't just his anymore. Torn between two forces, the pressure had turned an elastic idea, fluid and vibrant, in to a brittle, jagged edge instead. Didn't want them to talk around her the past. Didn't want to realize what they were saying. Didn't want to think about the frog, that brittle smile he'd witnessed, or the buried memories of █er. Couldn't tell if the pounding on his ribcage was his heart, or something else trying to get out. In one of those thumps, the delusion finally shattered, though Tama was stood still and staring forward like he'd zoned out of the whole discussion. ]

Why...do you think I can change reality? When I'm not even enough to change someone's mind...?

[ The the gulf he'd viewed that 'other him' across- it didn't feel so wide anymore. He couldn't stop either of them. He couldn't make them live. So, if they couldn't live, refused to, then the least they owed it to him was to die how he chose, in exchange for all the bullshit they'd put him through. His legs buckled from the thought, but he barely even registered the usual worries about getting his uniform dirty, or the possibility that his boss and coworkers were watching through the too-wide windows like this was some theater drama. ]

Maybe that's fine. Nobody can change my mind, either. [ He wanted to get up, more because he didn't want to be touched than anything, but his legs weren't working, and he was still staring ahead, uselessly fragile in his delivery. ] Even if you love your guilt more than me, I came to my conclusion already. I'm not settling for anything less than both. That's...final.

No--

[A blink, and it's over -- Kawase's in the university uniform, he's in the last shirt he has that's not ruined by blood or worse; instead of swords, their forearms are awkwardly locked over each other, almost as if each of them was reaching for the other's throat. When Minakami jerks his head back at the soft sound of Tama falling onto the pavement, Tamamori's back to normal, too. "Normal" in the way that he didn't want to become normal, but every time, every time...]

...

[More than anything, he wants to go to Tama, pick him off the ground, smooth this over, like he wasn't the one who'd been pushing Tama to this point. At the same time... if he lets go of Kawase now, he's not sure if he'll ever be in reach again, a severed kite string whipping away over the horizon. (At that, a dangerous new thought creeps into his head, too outlandish to put into words yet, surely not--)]

[He starts to reach for one of Kawase's hands and checks himself at the last second, taking his wrist instead. Even then he's afraid that contact through the fabric is too much, but Kawase had grabbed him out of the crowds, so maybe, maybe it's fine.]

...Tamamori said it to me, only I wouldn't listen. We were just... kids. [Minakami wants to look down, look away, but he's done that too much already.] ...If you want the truth... I asked you to look after Tamamori, because... I need you here, too. [He curls his fingers around Kawase's sleeve cuff; it seems like the next thing he says should be a dark joke, but there's an odd, confused tone to his voice:] I don't think we have a choice.

[If he's honest, he doesn't really notice the scenery changing; it's only when the pressure of metal is no longer there that he realizes it. Suddenly with nothing left in his hands, he instinctively pulls his hands away before they could touch. Kawase just sort of looks away, blankly, away from where Tamamori had fallen to his knees. He'd probably never be able to put into words how wrong Tama-- how much it... felt, just to hear someone who still wanted you around.

Then there's a tug on his arm, and he can feel the shape of a hand around his wrist; for the second time that day, he looked up at Minakami with wide-eyed surprise, his mouth slightly parted. Just... Just, kids.

The truth isn't what he expected. And suddenly... it takes the number of people who could've wanted him around up to two. He was so... certain, that Minakami was too strong, too good and steady of a person to not be disgusted with him by now. Some part of him had even hoped that Minakami would see through the pathetic lie he'd used to cover up Ikeda's death, and maybe it'd be Mina who would finally stop him... and maybe Hanazawa, too. Never in his wildest dreams could he imagine...

His heart jumps in his throat, and for a moment his hand shakes again, unsure of what to do as he stares at Minakami's hand. Every nerve inside him wanted to recoil even at the suggestion of the touch. But he-- hated, that that was always what he wanted to do.

From the outside it probably seemed silly that there was so much mental effort just turning his hand, sliding it out from under Minakami's grip so he could try and hold the end of Mina's fingers in a way that just turned out like an awkward, intertwined mess. Kawase's grip is too tight for the gesture, but it was the only way he could keep himself held on.]

...Sorry. I was lying before. [His voice was quiet, still sounding hushed and vacant-- but for now, it was just the way he sounded.] I just wanted to see Tamamori-kun get flustered, trying to explain a 'dasiy-chain'... [That last part was clearly a lie; but the first part was true. He didn't really have hopes and dreams, but he supposed he had one.

But it's about all he stand, before he releases his own tepid grip and brought his own hand gripped tightly back to his space.] Mm... I guess not. [He sounded weary over Minakami's question, but his tone was lighter than before, as he turns to look at Tamamori, seemingly unperturbed by Tama's current state, though it was far from the truth.] Don't you think you're not giving us enough credit? I don't think we ever said anything about leaving you alone.

En...ough credit. [ It sounded like Tama was trying to sound out the word, understand how it felt to say it, like it was a foreign concept not translating properly- which, in many ways, it was. It didn't make sense to him; just more noisy whiplash he had to navigate around.

Was he interpreting things wrong? The sword- no. It hadn't been a sword. It was a scepter, it was never a sword. He'd overreacted? He must have. Tama did all the time. He messed up a lot. What else was he overreacting about? The entire past month? The past two-?

He had to stand up. It was clumsy and pathetic, the multiple attempts it clearly took to get his legs under him, but it was a pressing need- he didn't want to be touched, still. He wanted to stand on his own, reach in to his pocket on his own, and...throw his poor, cutesey phone hard enough at the ground that it bounced, jangling all the while, in to the side of the cafe's front window. Despite how angry the gesture was, it took him a moment to look up at his best friends, or approximately where they were, at least. There was a pregnant pause worth a few breaths, before Tama finally erupted. ]

You're going to act like you didn't mean it, and then say that, say I'm not giving you enough credit...?! You're going to- to- to do all that, say all of that, then say none of it was about wanting to leave?! I'm the irrational one?! After what you said on the shore- on the train- did- [ The fury didn't last long, creaking in to a much more earnest, and anxious response. Something terrified was building, stronger than even his fears about his friends' tenuous connections to life. ] -did any of it...any of the rain...

[ His mouth twitched, struggling to say it. ] ...did even actually happen...?

[ He'd forgotten so many things, plastered over the cracks with convenient or colorful or dramatic ideas, that maybe...none of the rain had ever happened. Maybe he'd made up the hashihime, the deaths and murders and impossible future, maybe it was just a story he'd let go on for too long- the shame of that was worse than anything anyone could do to him. He didn't wait for a response, was afraid of the pity or annoyance or awareness or any reaction like that- it was still stumbling, but he threw the front doors of la sonnerie open, rushing back in to the business rather than take his chances booking it down the street. Even in the pit of confusion he was in, Tama still knew to (rudely) use his environment to his advantage; he had a much better shot of getting away if he abused his employee status to go out through the back of the building, whereas someone more polite (Minakami) or new to the area (Kawase) wouldn't have had as much luck trying to follow him. anyway seeya suckers! ]

[Any wondering or shock Minakami had, at the shaken look on Kawase's face or the almost-painful grip on his hand, it's shattered instantly at the sound of the phone's impact and the ensuing outburst. Behind the rush of guilt (he should have handled all this, should've been prepared, but even two months of good intentions and space weren't long enough for old miseries to not feel like comforts), he recognizes the panic on Tama's face. It's the same one from when they were all younger, and grown-ups -- really mostly his grandfather -- had talked over him, called him attention-seeking, called him a liar.]

[Oh hells.]

Tamamori, wait--!

[By then the only answer is the slam of the cafe entrance, and then the more muffled bang of the Employees Only doors. Through the glass windows, he can see Melody-san hurriedly tucking her phone in her apron and trying to look casual.]

[He doesn't catch Kawase's elbow, sensing he's already pushed his luck too far on that front. But if this moment is somehow an echo of their conversation in the alleyway half an hour ago, it couldn't be more different: Instead of the tightly-controlled lid on his emotions that had bubbled to the surface as anger, Minakami looks ready to bolt, pale both from fear and something like recognition:] There isn't time to explain. He locked himself up for a week. He didn't want me to see... [Minakami trails off.] I-- We can't let him do it again.

[It's rare that Tamamori ever gets genuinely mad at him-- actually, he supposes the only time it really happened was when he'd left Tamamori in the basement. It brings a smile to his face; though to what degree it was even real, this time, even Kawase doesn't know.

Though, towards the end... it's like Minakami was thinking-- he hadn't heard that panicked, unsure tone of voice since they were children. The line between reality and fantasy was always blurred with him, but Kawase, at least, had never heard it quite so uncertain, and his expression immediately becomes serious again.

He's... not sure if he was really in any position to chase after him. But Minakami-- well, he's never seen Minakami look so scared before, either. He's not sure which is more unsettling at this point.]

Locked himself up...? [An almost comical thought, given how much trouble Kawase had gone through to keep him from breaking into things. But he'd been trying to hide something...?] Did he lock you out of your own house on your little honeymoon..?

[Well, he doesn't wait for an answer to that at least, so at least Minakami doesn't have to deal with that. But his panic is enough to at least spur Kawase to action; he grabs Minakami's sleeve to pull him along, seemingly grumpy as he pulls open the cafe's doors (ugh, he hoped the tsukumogami around at least washed it). Eventually he's at least, uh, kind(??) enough to release Minakami, mostly because he didn't really have the strength to push Minakami of all people around; but he continues his way straight past the employee doors into the kitchen, heedless of the little creatures' surprise and objections as he catches Tamamori at the employee door in the back, grabbing the back ties of his uniform's apron before Tama could bolt again.] Wait.

[ Melody-san didn't bother trying to stop the pair at all. It was hard to emote when your head and face was a bell, but her floating gloved hands gestured the duo along to the employee area without trying to halt their progress. Specifically, she gave a knowing bob of her head to Minakami, but otherwise went around the counter, trying to see their lone, bewildered customer out of the shop.

Maybe she'd been so willing to let the pair back in to the kitchen because she knew the door was lock- sure as could be, Tama was stopped dead by the back door, still faintly jiggling the handle even if his panicked energy was already leaving him. Embarrassment was settling in, thick and heavy, which at least kept him from tearing up the kitchen trying to find a key- he'd not want to wake the row of slumbering employees anyway, he was at least that thoughtful after working here for more than a month. Give or take the bloodrain's obvious alteration of the city's schedule.

The hand on his apron ties is enough to have him freeze up again, shrugging his shoulders forward in a hunch and not jostling the knob anymore. He wanted to disappear. Crawl in somewhere dark and small and tight and disappear. Not even his illusions were helping, though there was a half-visible Frog Man clinging to Tama's pant leg as if trying to assist in what little way he could. ]

S...sorry. [ He only apologized for his mental health outbursts because he was expected to, never because he wanted to. It'd never been a very well-hidden thing, like most stuff with Tamamori. ] I missed you so much...too much, I guess. [ Frog Man was fully visible at that admission, though the frog seemed more concerned with looking sadly up at Tama than doing anything else. ] ...you can lie, or tell the truth, or say anything you want about any of it, and I'll accept it...but. Don't take that back. Don't say it didn't happen. Please.

[There isn't time to unpack that question -- isn't that the story of their lives -- or how extremely not funny that joke is, and instead of responding he ducks to scoop up Tamamori's (hopefully not shattered) phone before following Kawase back into the cafe. He hardly notices the knowing look, though it's maybe a load off his mind to think Melody-san doesn't seem upset at the intrusion. On top of everything, he'd hate it if Tama got fired just because his friends made a scene.]

[He halts a few steps behind Kawase, not wanting to crowd either him or Tama. Or jostle the sleepy tsukumogami on their shelves, for that matter. Though, between the exhaustion after the high-running emotions and spike of panic, or the unwanted reminder of the "price", or the mingled relief and dismay at Tama's failed escape route. Even if they were alone in the backroom, Minakami's voice would still be quiet. Quieter than usual.]

Tamamori... you don't have anything to say sorry for. [Minakami doesn't want to speak ill of the dead, not even in the privacy of his own head; the gods know that the man had his own reasons, but Tamamori apologizing in that tone makes it hard to be generous to his grandfather's departed spirit.] I should apologize, for... all this.

[Maybe these things are easier to say, with both Kawase and Tama's backs to him.] I-I don't know everything that happened, but if we're all here-- [which is to say, all alive] --it's a kind of proof, right? No matter what?

June 2022 Test Drive

well what's his prize

apparently 'not being fully present for hellmonth'

he sat there at the edge of existing, wibbling, while tama had a breakdown. idk if thats a prize

i mean it means he doesn't have to deal with the breakdown, so that's neat

july substory: take a frog out to get ice cream (plot relevant)

perfect, ideal

you actually get three points for that thread

tragically this thread subtracts 3 points from all our ledgers

we're in a deficit and theyre not even up yet

fuck

kfc double doubledown: two doubledowns as the "bread" of a doubledown

it is possible that this is too much chicken in one chicken

that's like nine chicken i think, which at that point you could just order a plate of wings

well the good news is looking at the doubledown hot dog has made me never hungry again

i'm still upset about that

go sixteen years in the past to erase the double down dog

i mean you joke but i would

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the tag that took three days and 27 planets worth of energy to finish, i hope you're both ready

presses hands together, looks at sky

[gestures at a burning planet] i think i did pretty well

THE PLANET'S DYING KAWASE

[barrett voice]

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