jigokufever | AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

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AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

1. SHUTEN TERRITORY - Muscling In

art by tohdraws

In the aftermath of the curse crisis, the Shuten Clan forgave a bunch of protection payments in the region, and helped cover the costs for rebuilding. Unfortunately, some of the street gangs in the area are much less civically minded. They have used the Shuten's relaxed policies as an opportunity to turn their own screws on the local business owners. These unaffiliated youth gangs have been much rougher with the locals, and have been asking for even larger collection fees. This has pissed off the folks who are just trying to get their lives and businesses back on track!

Unfortunately, the opening of Sai no Kawara in the underground drew so much of the clan's focus and manpower, that the issues up top just slipped through the cracks. Until now! Toraguma is in a bad mood and is looking for people to take it out on: the youth gangs will do just fine.

Volunteers are being solicited to join the regular Shuten enforcers in driving these interlopers out of Shuten territory. The gangs are wise to the usual Shuten tactics, though, and they're prepared for a fight. They are also appealing to the influx of Lost Souls: they act as though they're the victims of the factions' power struggles! They propose that taking up arms against the Shuten Clan will win them favor with the other groups in the city. (It will look less good with the Shuten Clan, should you be assigned to them.)

Fight with the Shutens, or with the gangs. Either way, a fight is coming.

2. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Throat Goat (NSFW)

at by akai riot

This prompt is overtly sexual in nature. Please use the proper NSFW labelling in your top levels and threads.

While the Palace of Sai in the underground is doing well, that doesn't mean the other businesses in the Tamamo Clan's collection have been slacking. One of the least "classy" soaplands has decided they're going to hold a contest to drive up business for themselves! They are partnering with some of the other sex clubs in the area for the sleaziest of events.

The Hyottoko Cup is looking for volunteer participants! The competition is pretty straightforward: a ruler is drawn on the throat of each participant and an array of members is presented to swallow. Whichever contestant can take the guests deepest and longest will take home the "coveted" Hyottoko Cup! Ok, there's a little judge favoritism involved too, so put on a show.

The guests have likewise been pulled in as volunteers, with instructions that they don't have to make this easy on the participants. Guests are provided with special seals that they can use for the length of the competition to enhance their natural assets. For those lacking the equipment entirely, there's a seal for that too.

Have fun and play nice.

3. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Strike a Poise (GEN)

Other businesses looking to jump start this month's earnings are also getting in on the spirit of competition! Businesses less oriented towards sexual service have come together as a means to draw in the high dollar clients, and one local club has proposed something old school.

Sign up for the Poise Contest, where contestants are placed into more and more ridiculous geta while tasked with serving drinks to the guest. Spills are expected, and the guests are cheerfully kitted out with cheap club-branded ponchos to protect their clothes. (Marketing, am I right?) While spills are expected, the contestant will lose points for each of the spilled drinks. Try to keep your balance as you attend to increasingly absurd drink orders. The intensity of the traditional footwear will only make your job that much harder.

Do you have what it takes to pour a champagne fountain while wearing teetering tengu geta? Prove your balance and dexterity is the best and the take home prize is some sweet cash. For Lost Souls freshly in the city, the chance to win some extra money can't really be passed up, huh…

4. SUTOKU TERRITORY - Jigokucho's Got Talent

Ever since Moonday's beloved singer – Ringo-chan – was kidnapped at the Tanabata festival, the band has had to cancel all of their scheduled gigs. Unfortunately, they were a hugely popular act, booked solid in most of the Sutoku Alliance's various nightclubs. This has left a ton of empty spots that need to be filled quickly, before the crowds get upset and demand… refunds.

That's where you come in, Lost Souls! Desperate promoters and talent bookers are literally grabbing Lost Souls off the street and begging, pleading, with them to perform a set for the night. They just need to have something to fill the space Moonday would have otherwise occupied. At least give the crowd something to see!

Acts do not need to be of the musical variety. Any performing talent is accepted, no matter how esoteric or bizarre! If it can fill out a 15-30 minute set, the club owners will be happy and the customers will at least see something interesting; even if it's a bad kind of interesting. So get on stage and show this city what you've got!

( Help us fill our time slots, please! We're desperate! 😩)

5. DEPARTMENT OF THE ENMA - Sticky Paws II: Outta the Bag

The Enma Department is busy: they have a kidnapping to investigate, a primordial god to pin down, and the crisis of their ever-shifting public image to manage. However, crime never sleeps and is always there to add to the troubled Department's workload. Worse still, we thought this little crime spree was over six months ago! But here it is again, much to the Enma's chagrin.

Cat cafés are a popular tourist attraction all across Jigokucho. About six months ago, a gang of bakeneko infiltrated several of the cafés to rob customers occupied with kitty bliss. Wallets, jewelry, and anything else those sticky paws could snatch away were being picked in droves. The cat capers are afoot once more!

Are you a hapless victim of these furry thieves, or are you helping the Department of the Enma track down these cat burglars? Unfortunately, the bakeneko are exceptionally clever and are using a seal to disguise their secondary tails. This makes them look just about like any normal cat. Better make sure your lead is good, or you'll be chasing down an ordinary Felis Catus. Soft to pet, but not going to return your pilfered cash.

Of course, the café staff might be in on this caper too… It's never easy to tell who's getting a cut of the profits. Be careful who you trust out there.

6. ALL OVER - The 100 Billion Yen Man (PLOT RELEVANT)

The local TV news has been announcing that Kaberou Kannazaki – the legendary finance wolf and the father of kidnapping victim, Ringo-chan – will be making an announcement this week. People have flocked to television sets throughout the city; at the squares, around TVs in bars, electronic stores, each other's phones, and any other venue with a connection. The kidnapping has been a highly public ordeal and the talk of the town. Many of the locals were present at the festival and witnessed the crime. They want to hear what the word is!

The public doesn't have to wait long. Wolf-eared Kaberou sits at a press desk, surrounded by microphones, and dazzled with flashbulbs. He clears his throat and, as he begins to speak, he is direct and to the point; not unlike a wolf lunging for the throat.

"As of today, I am issuing a bounty on the man known as the Iron Bear, who has claimed responsibility for the kidnapping of my daughter, Ringo Kannazaki. The payout to the party responsible for bringing me Iron Bear, dead or alive, is 100 Billion Yen. Individuals or groups, I don't care. Just bring my daughter back to me, and the money is yours."

Well! The Department of the Enma's hopes of an orderly investigation have been dashed, but this is certainly an opportunity for anyone brave enough – or, more accurately, stupid enough – to traverse the Wasteland. Maybe one of you out there will find the legendary Iron Bear and bring him to some form of justice.

Local businesses are quick to leap at this opportunity, too. They begin to aggressively push sponsorships at would-be bounty hunters. Weapons? Armor? Survival gear? All at discount prices! Each faction has their interest in collecting the massive bounty as well. They will all be putting a lot of pressure on recruits to get ready to head out to the Wastes.

If you just got here? Well, it would definitely be in your interest to start finding gear, and finding people willing to collect that bounty with you. It could mean a big step forward toward your eventual contract, after all.

Welcome to the test drive meme!

First of all, big thanks to our discord chat for the "Throat Goat" prompt idea. Stay golden, gang.
IF YOU'RE TOP-LEVELING A NEW CHARACTER, post it here!
Characters already in the game can top level as well.
Threads here can be considered game canon.
Characters can be recruited to do work for any faction until they're given their official assignment.
If you have any questions about the TDM content, please ask them here! You can find information on the story so far here!
If you have questions about the game itself, please check out the premise, FAQ, and rules pages.
Reserves are open until September 5th.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

4. fertilizer's got talent (general violence)

And now announcing... Jinx?

[a patchwork top hat peeks out from behind the curtain, hesitates, and swoops onto stage with a dramatic flourish by the wearer. her suit jacket is five times too big and drowns her bones. it also looks like it was dragged out of a dumpster.

onto the center of the stage she carries a Frankenstein teddy bear. rather than the standard cuddly torso, its limbs and heads have been glued onto a lidded bucket. wires circle and twist haphazardly. she sets it down, careful, and a single spotlight alights.]

Ladies, gentleman, all!

[ she doffs the hat and thick blue braids tumble down her back. in the dramatic lighting, her eyes glow pink and bright. ]

You may be wondering, uh... huh... why we are all here!

[ the spotlight tightens its beam, highlighting the fractured clock held in the bear's hands. ]

And I'm here to tell you! The truth is that, well...

[ she grins, strikes a match, and leans towards the twisted cotton poking out of the bear's crown. ]

It's going to explode. In five seconds.

(ooc; feel free to play out the explosion in your response! stage damage was given the OK by mods, but beyond that would be a bigger deal.)

5. david and catliath (animal abuse)

Ok... so... [ she glances to the side, explaining the conspiracy over her shoulder ] There are special, stealing cats, and then there are regular cats?

[ Jinx shifts in her hunch, a horrible gargoyle atop a stone wall. in her hand, a sling braided of rags; next to her, a pile of rocks, glass, and anything else vaguely round and hard shaped. ]

If I shoot every cat, then one of those cats will probably be a money cat. [ a frown and a dismissive twiddle of her fingertips] I need money more than I need cats.

[ an unlucky victim, an orange tabby, wanders into her view across the street. it flops onto its back, rolls around, shows its belly: perfect.
she quietly unfolds and places her payload into the sling. eyes tight on the little money-haver, she swings once, twice, and:

a howl of pain, a flurry of orange, and a streak of blood all flash into the bushes. and most upsetting: no coins or jewels or anything other than a couple whiskers are left behind.

Jinx collapses back onto her heels, a firm pout in place. ]

Guess not that one.

?. wildcard!

(feel free to drum anything up here for Jinx! no NSFW please, but other than that, open to whatever you have in your bag. PMs are open!)

Edited 2022-08-26 00:52 (UTC)

[Kazuma happens to observe the whole thing, and it takes everything in him not to simply erupt at her. Casual, pointless cruelty is an indulgence he's never understood, and it always galls him to see it flaunted like this. The poor cat did nothing to her!

But she also seems very young, and he doubts very much simply getting angry will get him anywhere with her. So he remains composed, but his anger makes his tone flinty.]

Was that really necessary?

[ without looking up from the street: ]

Of course it was.

[ then, shifting in place so he's captured in the corner of her eyes: ]

How else are you supposed to know if it's a money cat? [ and who was he, anyway? a do-gooder? protector of all little furry things? she inches her feet further to the side so she can look him up and down. should she point out the stick wedged up his butt? ]

Or are you just so, uh, baked...and frosted... that it doesn't matter to you?

[He's silent for a moment, eyes narrowed, considering her. Something about her response surprises him, though he can't put his finger on what. Maybe it's just that her priority is the money rather than the cruelty.

He doesn't snap at her like he might otherwise, to someone older and more obviously flippant. Instead he tilts his head in question.]

How stealthy are you?

[ why say it when she can just prove it? a smirk at him, her core winds up, and she unspools onto the ground in silence. she approaches him with quiet steps, her boots barely scuffing the dust beneath them. her muscles are loose, there's a sway from ankle to shoulder, but the mathematics in her expression are not casual. ]

Toots... more than you would think.

Then why not try a different approach?

[Despite the subject matter, his tone is calm and even, like they are having a purely theoretical debate.]

Simply shooting at them will cause them to run whether they are a real cat or not, and you'll get nothing from them. But if you can avoid their notice and watch their behavior, you'll know for sure which cat to pursue. Wouldn't it be better to beat them at their own game?

[ Kou... Kou is kind of horrified. He's been poking around looking at cats himself and she just - well. He stares, expression twisted into something a bit shocked. ]

What'd that cat ever do to you?

[ He is indignant. And a little angry. Pointless cruelty has always seemed terrible to him. ]

Hah!

[ she jerks to her feet, easily balanced on the ledge of the wall, and barks out another laugh! ]

You know, I'm kind of getting tired of everyone around here being so precious about these cats. [ her tone is a mocking simper ] "Poor fluffy little babies. Poor meow-meows. It's wrong to shoot them... [ she puts an edge on her words and peels back her lips in an unfriendly smile ] no! please! don't shoot me too!"

[ her weight shifts to her hip, the grin dropped for an imploring eyebrow raise. ]

Do you get what I'm saying?

[ Look, he's been shot before. It sucked. He'd rather not repeat the experience. But he's also not the kind of guy to walk away from random cruelty. He raises his hands in a placating, warding gesture. ]

Look, I'd really rather not get shot. But, uh, I'd still appreciate it if you didn't shoot cats. They didn't do anything to you, right? There's no point in it.

[ Please don't shoot him. He really doesn't wanna deal with that. ]

So, uh, I guess you're threatening me?

[ he's met with a dramatic sigh of defeat. any threat in her posture drains out, leaving an annoyed teenager in its place. ]

No. I'm not gonna "shoot" "you". It's no fun with the whole acting defenseless thing you have. I'm not a psycho!

[ her head tilts in a question. ]

Do you even know why I'm playing whack-a-cat? It's not for fun. It's for money. And I don't have any.

...oh, well. Good. Yeah. That's good, because I really didn't want to have to deal with that.

[ He seems surprisingly calm. Or at least not as rattled as he could be. ]

There's gotta be a better way to make money than shooting cats, though?

Edited 2022-08-27 23:24 (UTC)

[ Jinx shakes her head. he's got her all wrong. ]

I'm not trying to make money, like slinging noodles or watching a group of brats. I'm trying to get money... you know... for free.

[ she scans the street, just in case another fur covered wallet showed up during their chat. ]

So you tell me: is there anything better than this?

I don't think you can just get money for free. No matter what you do, you're putting effort into it.

[ Smart-ass. ]

Better for you or better for the cats?

Hey! I, uh, I gotta tell you something here.

[ her arms cross over her chest as she leans towards him, her mouth twisting snide. ]

I'm not gonna choose a cat over me. There's nobody here I would choose over me. [ said without malice: ] If you were as easy to get cash out of, I would shoot you too! Ha, yeah, [ she pushes her hand through her bangs and leans back, relaxed ] I would definitely shoot you too.

If it twists you up so much to see some dumb cat bleed a little... you can turn around and walk away.

[ Man, this reminds him of some of the weirder people he's dealt with. Especially the whole 'very out for herself' thing. But he can kind of work with this? Maybe? Probably? ]

If I just walked away I'd have to be thinking about you out here shooting cats, though. And that's not something I think I want to do, you know?

[ He raises his hands in a shrug. ]

So turning around isn't really what I feel like doing.

[The poor feline's shrill cry attracts a certain officer's attention, as if his ears were trained to react to the melody of pain. Well, "officer" in name, at least. His affiliation to the Department of the Enma is signaled by the discreet badge adorning one of his sleeves.]

I could arrest you for animal cruelty right here, right now.

[Then, with a small smirk:]

But I figure it would be a waste of potential.

[ what a mixed bag!

her eyes first catch the badge and the sight is met with a disgusted scoff. she replays, with glee, the sight of all the dead enforcers she's seen. different mook, same tune. this one could join them.

her chipped fingernails are heading towards her pile of hurts-a-lot when the follow-up cracks loudly in her ears. she balls her body tighter and white knuckles from trying to grip the lip of the wall.] Shh! Shh. It doesn't mean anything. Stop being pathetic.

[ jinx lands her gaze just to his left, keeping him in her periphery. this time, she's addressing him, and the panic from her whisper is gone. ]

And what would a shiny badge know about potential?

[Any compassionate, caring adult would likely feel a pang of concern over the young bluenette's erratic, fidgety display of behavior. Instead, what Saito regards her with is frigid curiosity. The same kind of fascination with which some children trap insects into jars to inspect them thoroughly. Then, after the child's curiosity has been fully quenched: the insect is released from captivity unharmed; or yet put out of misery, their life squished out of them.

He would always do the latter.]

Oh, am I wrong, and your precise aim was just a stroke of beginner's luck? In that case, I suppose I'll be doing all the cats in the city a favor, putting you behind bars. They will be safer without you around.

[That last part possibly applies more to himself than to her.]

I'm giving you a choice here. Which one will it be?

[ she rolls up to stand on her feet. there's a ball of broken glass tucked in her palm, a back-up sleight. does she really want to go to the slammer in freak central? no. but someone throwing around authority will have to do more than wave around a badge to get her follow-along. ]

Okay, what's your point, huh? You don't need to be all [ a dramatic swirl of her hands in the air, the sling flapping around ] 'ooo, let me play word games so you do what I say.'

[ how many times had she seen Silco act just like this? it was predictable. she laughs, mirthless.]

That's stale crap for me. So how about you just say what you mean and we skip this part of our little conversation.

[The way she talks back full of sass doesn't bother him at all. Rather, his smirk widens into a self-satisfied grin; she's buying his provocation.]

I told you already. If only you were listening instead of being rebellious for no reason. [Ah, but he's already antagonized her enough, hasn't he?] Your potential, remember?

[More like he's curious to see the extent of her callousness, if she has potential as a killer. So he can get some share of entertainment without sullying his own hands in public.

He points at another possible candidate for a furry thief, curled up on a bench across the street, innocuously enjoying its nap.]

I've heard rumors some of those cats carry a decent amount of money... inside their stomachs.

[ everything is in one ear and out the other until he reveals the last little tidbit. finally! someone gets what she's all about here. sheesh. ]

[ she nods, animated, her eyes drawing the line between his finger and the napping cat. the pink light illuminating her pupils gets brighter. ]

Why didn't I consider that the money was inside? I don't know, I [ laugh! ] just thought it was going to pop out when you hit them!? No. Don't be stupid, silly. Nothing is ever that easy.

[ her ear jerks towards the ground. something is given a hard listen. she glances back at him from underneath her brow. ]

What kind of enforcer wants you to kill a cat?

[There's a minute narrowing of his eyes, but the confident grin doesn't waver one single bit. Even if she's grown suspicious of his intentions now, the split moment she seemed all too eager about the (made up) prospect of finding money tells him it was a push in the right direction.

Then, maybe if the right buttons are pressed...]

The kind that understands sometimes bad deeds are unavoidable, and is willing to turn a blind eye to them. Don't you need money? This could be your chance to get some.

[All pretty, petty lies.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

arcane | jinx

4. fertilizer's got talent (general violence)

5. david and catliath (animal abuse)

?. wildcard!

2 umu

umu!

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i would sell you to satan for one corn chip: the tag

it's ok, he's used to it.

kitty... uwu

officer, i swear it was only five cats. ten cats. they're all alive(?)

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