AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

[jigokumods]

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1. SHUTEN TERRITORY - Muscling In

art by tohdraws

In the aftermath of the curse crisis, the Shuten Clan forgave a bunch of protection payments in the region, and helped cover the costs for rebuilding. Unfortunately, some of the street gangs in the area are much less civically minded. They have used the Shuten's relaxed policies as an opportunity to turn their own screws on the local business owners. These unaffiliated youth gangs have been much rougher with the locals, and have been asking for even larger collection fees. This has pissed off the folks who are just trying to get their lives and businesses back on track!

Unfortunately, the opening of Sai no Kawara in the underground drew so much of the clan's focus and manpower, that the issues up top just slipped through the cracks. Until now! Toraguma is in a bad mood and is looking for people to take it out on: the youth gangs will do just fine.

Volunteers are being solicited to join the regular Shuten enforcers in driving these interlopers out of Shuten territory. The gangs are wise to the usual Shuten tactics, though, and they're prepared for a fight. They are also appealing to the influx of Lost Souls: they act as though they're the victims of the factions' power struggles! They propose that taking up arms against the Shuten Clan will win them favor with the other groups in the city. (It will look less good with the Shuten Clan, should you be assigned to them.)

Fight with the Shutens, or with the gangs. Either way, a fight is coming.

2. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Throat Goat (NSFW)

at by akai riot

This prompt is overtly sexual in nature. Please use the proper NSFW labelling in your top levels and threads.

While the Palace of Sai in the underground is doing well, that doesn't mean the other businesses in the Tamamo Clan's collection have been slacking. One of the least "classy" soaplands has decided they're going to hold a contest to drive up business for themselves! They are partnering with some of the other sex clubs in the area for the sleaziest of events.

The Hyottoko Cup is looking for volunteer participants! The competition is pretty straightforward: a ruler is drawn on the throat of each participant and an array of members is presented to swallow. Whichever contestant can take the guests deepest and longest will take home the "coveted" Hyottoko Cup! Ok, there's a little judge favoritism involved too, so put on a show.

The guests have likewise been pulled in as volunteers, with instructions that they don't have to make this easy on the participants. Guests are provided with special seals that they can use for the length of the competition to enhance their natural assets. For those lacking the equipment entirely, there's a seal for that too.

Have fun and play nice.

3. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Strike a Poise (GEN)

Other businesses looking to jump start this month's earnings are also getting in on the spirit of competition! Businesses less oriented towards sexual service have come together as a means to draw in the high dollar clients, and one local club has proposed something old school.

Sign up for the Poise Contest, where contestants are placed into more and more ridiculous geta while tasked with serving drinks to the guest. Spills are expected, and the guests are cheerfully kitted out with cheap club-branded ponchos to protect their clothes. (Marketing, am I right?) While spills are expected, the contestant will lose points for each of the spilled drinks. Try to keep your balance as you attend to increasingly absurd drink orders. The intensity of the traditional footwear will only make your job that much harder.

Do you have what it takes to pour a champagne fountain while wearing teetering tengu geta? Prove your balance and dexterity is the best and the take home prize is some sweet cash. For Lost Souls freshly in the city, the chance to win some extra money can't really be passed up, huh…

4. SUTOKU TERRITORY - Jigokucho's Got Talent

Ever since Moonday's beloved singer – Ringo-chan – was kidnapped at the Tanabata festival, the band has had to cancel all of their scheduled gigs. Unfortunately, they were a hugely popular act, booked solid in most of the Sutoku Alliance's various nightclubs. This has left a ton of empty spots that need to be filled quickly, before the crowds get upset and demand… refunds.

That's where you come in, Lost Souls! Desperate promoters and talent bookers are literally grabbing Lost Souls off the street and begging, pleading, with them to perform a set for the night. They just need to have something to fill the space Moonday would have otherwise occupied. At least give the crowd something to see!

Acts do not need to be of the musical variety. Any performing talent is accepted, no matter how esoteric or bizarre! If it can fill out a 15-30 minute set, the club owners will be happy and the customers will at least see something interesting; even if it's a bad kind of interesting. So get on stage and show this city what you've got!

( Help us fill our time slots, please! We're desperate! 😩)

5. DEPARTMENT OF THE ENMA - Sticky Paws II: Outta the Bag

The Enma Department is busy: they have a kidnapping to investigate, a primordial god to pin down, and the crisis of their ever-shifting public image to manage. However, crime never sleeps and is always there to add to the troubled Department's workload. Worse still, we thought this little crime spree was over six months ago! But here it is again, much to the Enma's chagrin.

Cat cafés are a popular tourist attraction all across Jigokucho. About six months ago, a gang of bakeneko infiltrated several of the cafés to rob customers occupied with kitty bliss. Wallets, jewelry, and anything else those sticky paws could snatch away were being picked in droves. The cat capers are afoot once more!

Are you a hapless victim of these furry thieves, or are you helping the Department of the Enma track down these cat burglars? Unfortunately, the bakeneko are exceptionally clever and are using a seal to disguise their secondary tails. This makes them look just about like any normal cat. Better make sure your lead is good, or you'll be chasing down an ordinary Felis Catus. Soft to pet, but not going to return your pilfered cash.

Of course, the café staff might be in on this caper too… It's never easy to tell who's getting a cut of the profits. Be careful who you trust out there.

6. ALL OVER - The 100 Billion Yen Man (PLOT RELEVANT)

The local TV news has been announcing that Kaberou Kannazaki – the legendary finance wolf and the father of kidnapping victim, Ringo-chan – will be making an announcement this week. People have flocked to television sets throughout the city; at the squares, around TVs in bars, electronic stores, each other's phones, and any other venue with a connection. The kidnapping has been a highly public ordeal and the talk of the town. Many of the locals were present at the festival and witnessed the crime. They want to hear what the word is!

The public doesn't have to wait long. Wolf-eared Kaberou sits at a press desk, surrounded by microphones, and dazzled with flashbulbs. He clears his throat and, as he begins to speak, he is direct and to the point; not unlike a wolf lunging for the throat.

"As of today, I am issuing a bounty on the man known as the Iron Bear, who has claimed responsibility for the kidnapping of my daughter, Ringo Kannazaki. The payout to the party responsible for bringing me Iron Bear, dead or alive, is 100 Billion Yen. Individuals or groups, I don't care. Just bring my daughter back to me, and the money is yours."

Well! The Department of the Enma's hopes of an orderly investigation have been dashed, but this is certainly an opportunity for anyone brave enough – or, more accurately, stupid enough – to traverse the Wasteland. Maybe one of you out there will find the legendary Iron Bear and bring him to some form of justice.

Local businesses are quick to leap at this opportunity, too. They begin to aggressively push sponsorships at would-be bounty hunters. Weapons? Armor? Survival gear? All at discount prices! Each faction has their interest in collecting the massive bounty as well. They will all be putting a lot of pressure on recruits to get ready to head out to the Wastes.

If you just got here? Well, it would definitely be in your interest to start finding gear, and finding people willing to collect that bounty with you. It could mean a big step forward toward your eventual contract, after all.

Welcome to the test drive meme!

• First of all, big thanks to our discord chat for the "Throat Goat" prompt idea. Stay golden, gang.
• IF YOU'RE TOP-LEVELING A NEW CHARACTER, post it here!
• Characters already in the game can top level as well.
• Threads here can be considered game canon.
• Characters can be recruited to do work for any faction until they're given their official assignment.
• If you have any questions about the TDM content, please ask them here! You can find information on the story so far here!
• If you have questions about the game itself, please check out the premise, FAQ, and rules pages.
• Reserves are open until September 5th.

Comments

[reifies]

That weird cat thing stole it.

[ If he had food, he'd be popcorning. Alas, he's just a bystander. ]

It went that way.

[ He points to the absolutely real direction the thief ran off to. ]

[fffffclass]

[ See, Yoojin is all up and ready to run after the thief when he hears the words 'stole.' He's up on his knees and about to go when the rest of that sentance really disgests with him and he pauses.

Sen what did you just say ]

...Cat-thing?

[ are you trying to tell him a cat stole his wallet... ]

[reifies]

Cat-thing.

[ He nods. Sen didn't mispronounce or anything! Why does he have to clarify again-- ]

Better get going! Cat-thing might be fast like a real cat!

[fffffclass]

...

[ W...what is this guy, even. Yoojin doesn't know if this guy honestly believes cats stole his wallet or if he's just playing some bizarre prank. ]

Ahh, I don't have time to mess around. Don't make jokes about stuff like this!

[ Yoojin pushes himself and tries to flag down a member of staff ]

[reifies]

[ Sen looks off in that direction where the thief scampered off to, thinking that it's a very lucky thing and then looks back at Yoojin. ]

What did those people call it... I think it was "you got jebaited by a cat".

[fffffclass]

Can you please stop making fun of me? I've only just arrived--that was all the money I had!

[ Is it under a pillow? That blanket?? STAFF, PLEASE ATTEND TO YOUR CUSTOMERS?? ]

[reifies]

And I told you where it went, but you're not doing anything about it!

[ He believes he did his part and he looks a little miffed that he wasn't taken seriously. Though none of this is serious anyway. Sen doesn't feel offended. ]

[fffffclass]

Who would believe that their possession was stolen by cats?!

[ it's okay, Yoojin is offended enough for the both of them :D he's got a cushion clutched in both hands and he's shaking it as if that will somehow produce his poor, poor money ]

[reifies]

You know... cats can take your shoes when you're not looking.

[ Cats can be thieves too, he thinks. He's lost shoes because of them sometimes. ]

[fffffclass]

Do you have an obsession with cats or something?? No one would believe that hearing it from a stranger...!

[ and this is where Yoojin will try and smack poor Sen a little with that cushion. Not hard or anything, but. get scolded, you. ]

Please leave unless you are going to help!

[reifies]

Wh— hey— Stop hitting on me!

[ Literally.

Poor Sen is getting pummeled (exaggeration) by a cushion!! Someone save him! He's sure being dramatic too. ]

I helped, but you didn't take any of it! You're such an airhead.

[fffffclass]

You're the airhead!

[ thwack. with no caps, because even if he put all his strength into it, it wouldn't be much... ]

Help me look!

[reifies]

Why should I? I told you where it went, so I don't know why you're still here and not running after it...

[ He looks down at the cats and then picks one up like longcat nya. ]

Or maybe it's hiding among these cats?

[fffffclass]

[ well...poo. Now he can't smack Sen, because he's holding a precious kitty. Yoojin huffs and points at Sen instead ]

Do you have cats for brains?? Or is there nothing but fur between your ears?!

[reifies]

[ Sen raises an eyebrow. ]

Is it so weird to chase after a thief once they stole something from you, no matter who or what it is?

[ The cat continues to dangle. Nya. ]

This place has magic and demons and you think cat-like thieves are weird.

[fffffclass]

It's weird if the person you're accusing of being a thief is a cat...!

[ Even in his bizarre world cats are separate from monsters and don't steal things!! ]

Just what sort of world is this where a cat could do something like that??

[ Look at that dangle!cat....it's so precious. it could never be a hardened criminal ]

[reifies]

You're pretty narrow-minded!

[ He says this with a grin and all. ]

For all you know, someone could have turned into a cat and stole it, if that helps your conscience.

[fffffclass]

........

[ waitaminute [

Do people here have abilities like that?

[reifies]

Probably. Changing how you look like is standard magic stuff, isn't it? But it's not like I know for sure, because I don't know everyone here, but I think there's a good chance, considering we have talking animal-like beings and stuff.

[ He's a genius! Not really. Sen is just telling Yoojin how he sees it. ]

[fffffclass]

[ It is a sound theory! There's only one thing wrong with it: ]

...Don't most abilities not work here?

[ He hasn't tried to use Promising Sprout on anyone yet, but if skills are weakened like he's been told, would someone really be able to transform? ]

[reifies]

But not everyone is like us.

[ Sure, they may be early Lost Souls, but others could have been here longer. There are also the locals to think about. He's certainly heard Tenkohime has some real good magic. ]

What, so you got some powers you're hiding? Is that why you said that? I'm just a person, but I don't have any powers~

[ Is that something to be bragging about? No, not really. He does it anyway. ]

[fffffclass]

....

You know saying it like that makes it sound like you do have powers, right?

[ Yoojin will not profess to be strong...even in his own world, he'd nearly the same strength-wise as someone without abilities. And because of the System his world uses, he will never actually be able to grow any stronger!!

the life of an F-Class is truly one of hardship... ]

[reifies]

That's not my problem if you think that even though I said I didn't~

[ He laughs. ]

Anyway, it looks like you'll have to get all that money back by scratch, since the thief must have long since made off with your "moolah".

[ Sen feels proud for getting the hang of slang. Probably? ]

[fffffclass]

[ Yoojin stare hard at Sen for several, long, drawn-out moments ]






Are you the thief.

[reifies]

[ Sen gives Yoojin a flat look in silence for several seconds. ]

No. Why would I be standing here if I was? I'm stupid, but not that stupid.