AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

[jigokumods]

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1. SHUTEN TERRITORY - Muscling In

art by tohdraws

In the aftermath of the curse crisis, the Shuten Clan forgave a bunch of protection payments in the region, and helped cover the costs for rebuilding. Unfortunately, some of the street gangs in the area are much less civically minded. They have used the Shuten's relaxed policies as an opportunity to turn their own screws on the local business owners. These unaffiliated youth gangs have been much rougher with the locals, and have been asking for even larger collection fees. This has pissed off the folks who are just trying to get their lives and businesses back on track!

Unfortunately, the opening of Sai no Kawara in the underground drew so much of the clan's focus and manpower, that the issues up top just slipped through the cracks. Until now! Toraguma is in a bad mood and is looking for people to take it out on: the youth gangs will do just fine.

Volunteers are being solicited to join the regular Shuten enforcers in driving these interlopers out of Shuten territory. The gangs are wise to the usual Shuten tactics, though, and they're prepared for a fight. They are also appealing to the influx of Lost Souls: they act as though they're the victims of the factions' power struggles! They propose that taking up arms against the Shuten Clan will win them favor with the other groups in the city. (It will look less good with the Shuten Clan, should you be assigned to them.)

Fight with the Shutens, or with the gangs. Either way, a fight is coming.

2. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Throat Goat (NSFW)

at by akai riot

This prompt is overtly sexual in nature. Please use the proper NSFW labelling in your top levels and threads.

While the Palace of Sai in the underground is doing well, that doesn't mean the other businesses in the Tamamo Clan's collection have been slacking. One of the least "classy" soaplands has decided they're going to hold a contest to drive up business for themselves! They are partnering with some of the other sex clubs in the area for the sleaziest of events.

The Hyottoko Cup is looking for volunteer participants! The competition is pretty straightforward: a ruler is drawn on the throat of each participant and an array of members is presented to swallow. Whichever contestant can take the guests deepest and longest will take home the "coveted" Hyottoko Cup! Ok, there's a little judge favoritism involved too, so put on a show.

The guests have likewise been pulled in as volunteers, with instructions that they don't have to make this easy on the participants. Guests are provided with special seals that they can use for the length of the competition to enhance their natural assets. For those lacking the equipment entirely, there's a seal for that too.

Have fun and play nice.

3. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Strike a Poise (GEN)

Other businesses looking to jump start this month's earnings are also getting in on the spirit of competition! Businesses less oriented towards sexual service have come together as a means to draw in the high dollar clients, and one local club has proposed something old school.

Sign up for the Poise Contest, where contestants are placed into more and more ridiculous geta while tasked with serving drinks to the guest. Spills are expected, and the guests are cheerfully kitted out with cheap club-branded ponchos to protect their clothes. (Marketing, am I right?) While spills are expected, the contestant will lose points for each of the spilled drinks. Try to keep your balance as you attend to increasingly absurd drink orders. The intensity of the traditional footwear will only make your job that much harder.

Do you have what it takes to pour a champagne fountain while wearing teetering tengu geta? Prove your balance and dexterity is the best and the take home prize is some sweet cash. For Lost Souls freshly in the city, the chance to win some extra money can't really be passed up, huh…

4. SUTOKU TERRITORY - Jigokucho's Got Talent

Ever since Moonday's beloved singer – Ringo-chan – was kidnapped at the Tanabata festival, the band has had to cancel all of their scheduled gigs. Unfortunately, they were a hugely popular act, booked solid in most of the Sutoku Alliance's various nightclubs. This has left a ton of empty spots that need to be filled quickly, before the crowds get upset and demand… refunds.

That's where you come in, Lost Souls! Desperate promoters and talent bookers are literally grabbing Lost Souls off the street and begging, pleading, with them to perform a set for the night. They just need to have something to fill the space Moonday would have otherwise occupied. At least give the crowd something to see!

Acts do not need to be of the musical variety. Any performing talent is accepted, no matter how esoteric or bizarre! If it can fill out a 15-30 minute set, the club owners will be happy and the customers will at least see something interesting; even if it's a bad kind of interesting. So get on stage and show this city what you've got!

( Help us fill our time slots, please! We're desperate! 😩)

5. DEPARTMENT OF THE ENMA - Sticky Paws II: Outta the Bag

The Enma Department is busy: they have a kidnapping to investigate, a primordial god to pin down, and the crisis of their ever-shifting public image to manage. However, crime never sleeps and is always there to add to the troubled Department's workload. Worse still, we thought this little crime spree was over six months ago! But here it is again, much to the Enma's chagrin.

Cat cafés are a popular tourist attraction all across Jigokucho. About six months ago, a gang of bakeneko infiltrated several of the cafés to rob customers occupied with kitty bliss. Wallets, jewelry, and anything else those sticky paws could snatch away were being picked in droves. The cat capers are afoot once more!

Are you a hapless victim of these furry thieves, or are you helping the Department of the Enma track down these cat burglars? Unfortunately, the bakeneko are exceptionally clever and are using a seal to disguise their secondary tails. This makes them look just about like any normal cat. Better make sure your lead is good, or you'll be chasing down an ordinary Felis Catus. Soft to pet, but not going to return your pilfered cash.

Of course, the café staff might be in on this caper too… It's never easy to tell who's getting a cut of the profits. Be careful who you trust out there.

6. ALL OVER - The 100 Billion Yen Man (PLOT RELEVANT)

The local TV news has been announcing that Kaberou Kannazaki – the legendary finance wolf and the father of kidnapping victim, Ringo-chan – will be making an announcement this week. People have flocked to television sets throughout the city; at the squares, around TVs in bars, electronic stores, each other's phones, and any other venue with a connection. The kidnapping has been a highly public ordeal and the talk of the town. Many of the locals were present at the festival and witnessed the crime. They want to hear what the word is!

The public doesn't have to wait long. Wolf-eared Kaberou sits at a press desk, surrounded by microphones, and dazzled with flashbulbs. He clears his throat and, as he begins to speak, he is direct and to the point; not unlike a wolf lunging for the throat.

"As of today, I am issuing a bounty on the man known as the Iron Bear, who has claimed responsibility for the kidnapping of my daughter, Ringo Kannazaki. The payout to the party responsible for bringing me Iron Bear, dead or alive, is 100 Billion Yen. Individuals or groups, I don't care. Just bring my daughter back to me, and the money is yours."

Well! The Department of the Enma's hopes of an orderly investigation have been dashed, but this is certainly an opportunity for anyone brave enough – or, more accurately, stupid enough – to traverse the Wasteland. Maybe one of you out there will find the legendary Iron Bear and bring him to some form of justice.

Local businesses are quick to leap at this opportunity, too. They begin to aggressively push sponsorships at would-be bounty hunters. Weapons? Armor? Survival gear? All at discount prices! Each faction has their interest in collecting the massive bounty as well. They will all be putting a lot of pressure on recruits to get ready to head out to the Wastes.

If you just got here? Well, it would definitely be in your interest to start finding gear, and finding people willing to collect that bounty with you. It could mean a big step forward toward your eventual contract, after all.

Welcome to the test drive meme!

• First of all, big thanks to our discord chat for the "Throat Goat" prompt idea. Stay golden, gang.
• IF YOU'RE TOP-LEVELING A NEW CHARACTER, post it here!
• Characters already in the game can top level as well.
• Threads here can be considered game canon.
• Characters can be recruited to do work for any faction until they're given their official assignment.
• If you have any questions about the TDM content, please ask them here! You can find information on the story so far here!
• If you have questions about the game itself, please check out the premise, FAQ, and rules pages.
• Reserves are open until September 5th.

Comments

kogasa tatara | touhou project

[urameshiya]

i. let's geta down to business

[Kogasa, being something of a traditionalist in all matters kasa-obake, spends a lot of her time not only hopping on one leg, but wearing geta while she does it. This makes her actually pretty good at this competition!

Though she's somewhat held back by the fact that she refuses to let go of the strange purple umbrella in her hands, which no matter how guests slice it continues to keep its gaze trained firmly on them while she works.]

Aaaand...just like that! A perfect, um, I don't remember what it's called, but here you are!

[She presents a drink, more gracefully than one might expect from someone of her excitable demeanor, with a wink of her blue eye.]

Don't worry. I'll keep you nice and dry!

[She probably won't be able to keep this up forever, especially since she's doing everything one-handed—and she'll indeed eventually spill something on someone, once the geta start to get to comically high levels—but for the most part, she's pretty good at it. Whichever option you prefer, the umbrella doing her job or the umbrella getting someone soaked by accident, are both up for grabs.]

ii-a. undefined feline operator

Ah! That one! It's definitely a bakeneko! Follow me!

[Kogasa points at a cat and takes off, her geta clacking loudly and the umbrella on her shoulders once again making eye contact with whoever's around, as though it's encouraging them to listen to her.

It's hard to tell, but it seems like, based on how tirelessly the cat runs...she might actually be onto something?]

A friend of mine pulls pranks like this all the time! So I think I can tell! Just keep after it, okay?!

ii-b. unrecognized false obstructor

[You can't win them all. Although Kogasa does indeed have a friend who loves to play illusory pranks, the method is different enough that her ability to guess is about on par with everyone else's.

This prompt is for finding Kogasa waving some stray scrap of paper she's found somewhere at a cat, which is rolling on the ground thoroughly enjoying itself. She's completely lost track of what she was supposed to be doing.]

Aww, what a cutie! You're not a bakeneko at all, are you?

iii. wildcard

[You're always free to make whatever the heck you want up, I just ask you refrain from NSFW stuff for now.]

ii-b

[sarashi]

Oi! You find 'em yet?

[ Ryuunosuke had went after her own 'bakeneko' earlier, irritated but softening up a bit once she ran into someone else looking around. Only to find out that they... found an actual cat, it looks like? ]

Uhhh... I mean, they're cute an' all, but they ain't really what we're lookin' for...

[urameshiya]

Huh? Oh, right...

[The cat's so cute, though. It catches the paper with a claw and she giggles in delight.]

...Well, maybe it's fine to let the bakeneko run amok for just a little while longer? I know it's bad to steal money, but a prank like this is pretty fun to watch, too...plus, look at how happy this guy is!

[#justyoukaithings]

[sarashi]

Wha-- of course it ain't fine! They're rippin' a bunch of people off!

[ She's seriously baffled by the idea???? Just let them go??? ]

[urameshiya]

Yeah, but there's so many people out there exterminating them that it probably won't matter if I spend a few more minutes playing with this cat!

[Kogasa's idea of youkai extermination is slightly different than the traditional use of the word...]

Besides, I understand where they're coming from...I'm not the kind of youkai that steals, but causing mischief is just in our nature! I'm just taking a central position here!

[The cat meows adorably. Come over here and pet it, Ryuunosuke.]

[sarashi]

Ain't that just gonna tell 'em that they can get away with it?

[ Which is not good? Especially if they're running off with money and jewelry...

...

Although, she has a point. That cat is... fairly cute. ]

Is that. Is that really that fun?

[ She never really got to play with a cat before. One that wasn't the size of an adult man, anyway. ]

[urameshiya]

Ahaha, it's fine! It's not like we're the only ones trying to find them, right? So come on, take a break! If you feel guilty about it, you can leave when you want.

[That doesn't seem to be a problem for her, though; she's already committed to chilling with this cat until either she or it gets bored. She holds out the bit of paper to Ryuunosuke and waves it, not much unlike the way she was just doing to the cat. It looks like it's a straw wrapper or something, up close.]

It's a lot of fun! You just have to be careful of the claws, that's all.

[sarashi]

[ ...she really shouldn't, but on the other hand, it seemed kinda cute. And playing with a cat, that'd be cute too, right? Which might go a long way towards...

Okay, maybe just for a little bit. ]

Alright, for like... a minute. Maybe two.

[ Ryuunosuke accepts the straw wrapper! If she can, anyway. Gingerly taking it, trying to be as gentle looking so the cat doesn't run away. ]

ii-b

[learntoread]

Of course!

[Like anyone from Kemet, Tabia has a deep respect for the power and dignity of cats. Capturing a wicked cat spirit will clearly be no easy feat. She joins the chase.]

Do you know any spells to aid in the capture this kind of spirit?

[urameshiya]

Nope! We're doing this the old-fashioned way!

[Even if she had access to her powers she wouldn't have anything like that, but it's probably fine.]

If we just scoop 'em up and put 'em in a bag or something, that should do it. Though I...didn't bring one...

[Oops.]

i.

[breweries]

[ it's that time again, training new lost souls before they get assigned to their respective factions. though unlike most people trying out this certain game, this girl is a natural and shylock can't help but give her a small round of applause. ]

Fufu, thank you. It is a rather hot day out, after all. But first, why don't you describe the drink you're serving me?

[ he is the esteemed owner of hemlock, so. tis a given. ]

[urameshiya]

Uh...

[Walking on geta? No problem. Maintaining balance? NO PROBLEM. Remembering what she put in the cup just now?

Maybe a problem. She doesn't need to eat or drink the usual way, after all, and most of what the denizens of Gensokyo do drink is just beer.]

...I-It's a surprise! So please! Take a guess!

[And then she'll just agree with him! The plan is perfect!]

[breweries]

Hm? Does that mean you don't know as well? It might not do me good if it poisons me and turning me into stone as a result.

[ fufu. fufufufufufu. ]

[urameshiya]

It definitely won't turn you into stone! I don't even know how to do that! Er, let me try to remember what it was...

[She racks her brain, tongue poking out as she does.]

Mer-lot?

[But she's pronouncing it wrong.]

[breweries]

Merlot wine. An exquisite choice.

[ he swirls the glass in his hand, taking a little whiff of it. ]

Would you like to join me? And rest your little feet, while you're at it.

[urameshiya]

Oh, um...

[She glances over at one of the contest runners, who waves her off in approval. It's the poise contest, not an endurance contest. So she slides into a seat across the table from him, though her umbrella remains propped up over her shoulder. She even takes a moment to make sure its eye is facing him.]

Thanks for the invitation! I shouldn't drink anything if I want to win, but staying to chat for a little bit sounds fun.

[The booze flows freely enough in Gensokyo that she's no stranger to beer, at least.]

[breweries]

What a well-behaved girl you are. But there's nothing wrong with taste-testing every now and then. If you are in the industry, it is imperative that the wine you serve should be perfect in all sense of the word. Although I will be the first one to say that perfection can be utterly boring.

[ he takes a sip of the wine, in that case. mhm, that sure is merlot. it's passable, but it could be better.

he sits back. ]

Now, introductions should be in order. What is your name?

i

[swordofhisou]

Well, I mean, kami but I hope so. If anyone should be able to do this competition it's you.

[No, it wasn't that she expressly recognized her, though damned if that look wasn't tickling at the back of her mind, but a Kasa-Obake was a Kasa-Obake was a Kasa-Obake. She knew one of those almost by heart, and the fact that this one was a cute girl, well... that was a familiar feeling in a way. Since, you know... Gensokyo.]

I think the only person around here that'd do better than you's an actual tengu.

[She took a sip, raising an eyebrow.]

Hey, uh... come back by when you're done doing the game, would you?

[urameshiya]

Hmm...

[While the praise does make her happy, Kogasa can't help but be troubled about something.]

...So you're saying that it's not surprising at all that I'm good at it...?

[That's pretty disappointing to hear. Maybe she should throw the competition after all.]

I don't mind coming back, but why?

[swordofhisou]

Well, I mean. You're a Kasa-Obake, right? You're definitely going to be good at being on one leg, I'd assume. If anyone should master that or know how to walk around in those clunkers it'd be you.

[She took another sip and frowned, looking down at her drink for a second.]

Uh... there's something I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to interrupt you competing. that's all.

[urameshiya]

That's right, I am! I'm pleased you noticed.

[As though it's hard. But she worked so hard on making her umbrella look its best, she's happy that someone recognized it, and her, for what they are.]

Well, why don't you order another drink, and then I can answer your question when I come back with it?

[A surprisingly astute suggestion coming from Kogasa, but she's enjoying herself, after all, so it's only natural to find more excuses to serve drinks.]

[swordofhisou]

Heh, well. Yeah. You're going to have a bunch who don't, but they're not uncommon back ... right, drink! Drink, uh. How about another mimosa? That should be fine.

[It would give her a second to think of how to phrase this, because on the one hand? She didn't care if the answer was no. But, on the other hand? She'd been here for a few months and it was weird running into so many youkai, but youkai who didn't seem to understand what the hell she was talking about, even if it was similar?]

I'll have a question for you when you get back.

[urameshiya]

Okay! One more, coming up!

[When she returns, she's on slightly taller geta, but she's still managing pretty well, even one-handed, as she hands Tenshi her mimosa. The girl and the umbrella share equally wide grins.]

You know, everyone keeps telling me that this is Hell, but it's a lot less scary than the stories I've heard about the Hell where I'm from. It's actually kind of fun.

[Though she's only been here for a short time, so who knows whether or not that opinion will change. This isn't altogether different from the time she first drifted into Gensokyo, though, in the sense that it's a place she can't leave even if she wanted to, so it's just a matter of making the best of things all over again.]

But you had a question, right? What did you want to ask?

ii-a

[crista_doloris]

Understood.

[ Like some kind of machine Shenhe leaves little time for a lengthy conversation, bursting with speed off the ground after the cat Kogasa had signaled toward.

...Well, bursting as fast as her martial artist body can take her without reaching superhuman speed anyways. ]

[urameshiya]

Whoa! I don't think you need to try that hard, do you?!

[Kogasa's not a great runner and regularly wears shoes not meant for it, so she's not keeping up with her at all.]