jigokufever | AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

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AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

1. SHUTEN TERRITORY - Muscling In

art by tohdraws

In the aftermath of the curse crisis, the Shuten Clan forgave a bunch of protection payments in the region, and helped cover the costs for rebuilding. Unfortunately, some of the street gangs in the area are much less civically minded. They have used the Shuten's relaxed policies as an opportunity to turn their own screws on the local business owners. These unaffiliated youth gangs have been much rougher with the locals, and have been asking for even larger collection fees. This has pissed off the folks who are just trying to get their lives and businesses back on track!

Unfortunately, the opening of Sai no Kawara in the underground drew so much of the clan's focus and manpower, that the issues up top just slipped through the cracks. Until now! Toraguma is in a bad mood and is looking for people to take it out on: the youth gangs will do just fine.

Volunteers are being solicited to join the regular Shuten enforcers in driving these interlopers out of Shuten territory. The gangs are wise to the usual Shuten tactics, though, and they're prepared for a fight. They are also appealing to the influx of Lost Souls: they act as though they're the victims of the factions' power struggles! They propose that taking up arms against the Shuten Clan will win them favor with the other groups in the city. (It will look less good with the Shuten Clan, should you be assigned to them.)

Fight with the Shutens, or with the gangs. Either way, a fight is coming.

2. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Throat Goat (NSFW)

at by akai riot

This prompt is overtly sexual in nature. Please use the proper NSFW labelling in your top levels and threads.

While the Palace of Sai in the underground is doing well, that doesn't mean the other businesses in the Tamamo Clan's collection have been slacking. One of the least "classy" soaplands has decided they're going to hold a contest to drive up business for themselves! They are partnering with some of the other sex clubs in the area for the sleaziest of events.

The Hyottoko Cup is looking for volunteer participants! The competition is pretty straightforward: a ruler is drawn on the throat of each participant and an array of members is presented to swallow. Whichever contestant can take the guests deepest and longest will take home the "coveted" Hyottoko Cup! Ok, there's a little judge favoritism involved too, so put on a show.

The guests have likewise been pulled in as volunteers, with instructions that they don't have to make this easy on the participants. Guests are provided with special seals that they can use for the length of the competition to enhance their natural assets. For those lacking the equipment entirely, there's a seal for that too.

Have fun and play nice.

3. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Strike a Poise (GEN)

Other businesses looking to jump start this month's earnings are also getting in on the spirit of competition! Businesses less oriented towards sexual service have come together as a means to draw in the high dollar clients, and one local club has proposed something old school.

Sign up for the Poise Contest, where contestants are placed into more and more ridiculous geta while tasked with serving drinks to the guest. Spills are expected, and the guests are cheerfully kitted out with cheap club-branded ponchos to protect their clothes. (Marketing, am I right?) While spills are expected, the contestant will lose points for each of the spilled drinks. Try to keep your balance as you attend to increasingly absurd drink orders. The intensity of the traditional footwear will only make your job that much harder.

Do you have what it takes to pour a champagne fountain while wearing teetering tengu geta? Prove your balance and dexterity is the best and the take home prize is some sweet cash. For Lost Souls freshly in the city, the chance to win some extra money can't really be passed up, huh…

4. SUTOKU TERRITORY - Jigokucho's Got Talent

Ever since Moonday's beloved singer – Ringo-chan – was kidnapped at the Tanabata festival, the band has had to cancel all of their scheduled gigs. Unfortunately, they were a hugely popular act, booked solid in most of the Sutoku Alliance's various nightclubs. This has left a ton of empty spots that need to be filled quickly, before the crowds get upset and demand… refunds.

That's where you come in, Lost Souls! Desperate promoters and talent bookers are literally grabbing Lost Souls off the street and begging, pleading, with them to perform a set for the night. They just need to have something to fill the space Moonday would have otherwise occupied. At least give the crowd something to see!

Acts do not need to be of the musical variety. Any performing talent is accepted, no matter how esoteric or bizarre! If it can fill out a 15-30 minute set, the club owners will be happy and the customers will at least see something interesting; even if it's a bad kind of interesting. So get on stage and show this city what you've got!

( Help us fill our time slots, please! We're desperate! 😩)

5. DEPARTMENT OF THE ENMA - Sticky Paws II: Outta the Bag

The Enma Department is busy: they have a kidnapping to investigate, a primordial god to pin down, and the crisis of their ever-shifting public image to manage. However, crime never sleeps and is always there to add to the troubled Department's workload. Worse still, we thought this little crime spree was over six months ago! But here it is again, much to the Enma's chagrin.

Cat cafés are a popular tourist attraction all across Jigokucho. About six months ago, a gang of bakeneko infiltrated several of the cafés to rob customers occupied with kitty bliss. Wallets, jewelry, and anything else those sticky paws could snatch away were being picked in droves. The cat capers are afoot once more!

Are you a hapless victim of these furry thieves, or are you helping the Department of the Enma track down these cat burglars? Unfortunately, the bakeneko are exceptionally clever and are using a seal to disguise their secondary tails. This makes them look just about like any normal cat. Better make sure your lead is good, or you'll be chasing down an ordinary Felis Catus. Soft to pet, but not going to return your pilfered cash.

Of course, the café staff might be in on this caper too… It's never easy to tell who's getting a cut of the profits. Be careful who you trust out there.

6. ALL OVER - The 100 Billion Yen Man (PLOT RELEVANT)

The local TV news has been announcing that Kaberou Kannazaki – the legendary finance wolf and the father of kidnapping victim, Ringo-chan – will be making an announcement this week. People have flocked to television sets throughout the city; at the squares, around TVs in bars, electronic stores, each other's phones, and any other venue with a connection. The kidnapping has been a highly public ordeal and the talk of the town. Many of the locals were present at the festival and witnessed the crime. They want to hear what the word is!

The public doesn't have to wait long. Wolf-eared Kaberou sits at a press desk, surrounded by microphones, and dazzled with flashbulbs. He clears his throat and, as he begins to speak, he is direct and to the point; not unlike a wolf lunging for the throat.

"As of today, I am issuing a bounty on the man known as the Iron Bear, who has claimed responsibility for the kidnapping of my daughter, Ringo Kannazaki. The payout to the party responsible for bringing me Iron Bear, dead or alive, is 100 Billion Yen. Individuals or groups, I don't care. Just bring my daughter back to me, and the money is yours."

Well! The Department of the Enma's hopes of an orderly investigation have been dashed, but this is certainly an opportunity for anyone brave enough – or, more accurately, stupid enough – to traverse the Wasteland. Maybe one of you out there will find the legendary Iron Bear and bring him to some form of justice.

Local businesses are quick to leap at this opportunity, too. They begin to aggressively push sponsorships at would-be bounty hunters. Weapons? Armor? Survival gear? All at discount prices! Each faction has their interest in collecting the massive bounty as well. They will all be putting a lot of pressure on recruits to get ready to head out to the Wastes.

If you just got here? Well, it would definitely be in your interest to start finding gear, and finding people willing to collect that bounty with you. It could mean a big step forward toward your eventual contract, after all.

Welcome to the test drive meme!

First of all, big thanks to our discord chat for the "Throat Goat" prompt idea. Stay golden, gang.
IF YOU'RE TOP-LEVELING A NEW CHARACTER, post it here!
Characters already in the game can top level as well.
Threads here can be considered game canon.
Characters can be recruited to do work for any faction until they're given their official assignment.
If you have any questions about the TDM content, please ask them here! You can find information on the story so far here!
If you have questions about the game itself, please check out the premise, FAQ, and rules pages.
Reserves are open until September 5th.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

> Jigokucho's Got Talent

( here's the thing—

money talks.

it's the one multi-universal constant, no matter where you are. if you want to survive, you've got to have some money in your pocket. after all, you can only steal so much in one place before you've over-fished that pond.

there's a delicate line of balance to be maintained.

which, of course, means that eda allowed herself to get roped into a performance for upfront and immediate payment only. they didn't even care what she did, as long as she exhausted the assigned time slot.

the easiest route, per her opinion, is to play some songs and make some witty remarks then breeze right on out. maybe even make her way back around for another gig some day.

or she would have, but she cannot find any instruments in this back room. she grabs on to the arm of the first person to walk by her. )

Have you seen a. . .

( uh. will they even know what she means? what do humans call them? )

A lute? Is that what they call it? No. . .

( she lets go, immediately moving to mimic the shape of a mandolin with her palms. )

Long neck, strings, real round body? Voluptuous like me?

> Sticky Paws II: Outta the Bag

( remember the thing we just talked about? about money?

it remains true. it's always going to be true and there is a particular pride to be found in doing what you've got to do get by. although, it's usually not anyone's first choice most of the time. the same way it wasn't her first choice to moonlight at a little kitty cafe for a shift neither does she imagine it's the first choice of these little mongrels.

she's seen a good handful of thefts already today and turned a blind eye to all of it. turned her attention to better things. like admiring how good she looks in a cat ear headband and thinking about cat puns.

then there's a yell and a split drink. )

Hey! Don't make a mess!

( she barks immediately, adept in the ways of customer service. )

> Wildcard

If neither of these work for you, you're welcome to hit me with something else. I'll roll with whatever. PM me if you're not sure.

[Leonardo is watching this and oh, oh it is sad. She is riding that struggle bus and has no idea what she's doing.]

Do you mean a guitar? Banjo? Sitar? [Takes a breath wait he's not done.] Pipa? A citole? What about a harp lute? That fits the description, right?

( bright side: they know a little something about music and recognise instruments by the same names she does.

not so bright side: they're obviously annoying. )

I said voluptuous! You think a citole has a rocking bod like me?

Hey, look, I dunno what's considered attractive in other Hidden Cities okay, I try not to make assumptions.

But you don't deny it.

( how gorgeous she is, obviously.

she clicks her tongue and makes a quick finger-gun motion. )

So, what? Do you play?

[He's a sixteen year old turtle, he doesn't care.

But THAT question. A sly grin.]

"Do I play," she asks. [He poses, stepping back a little and holding one hand out for the stagehand.] A guitaruh, please.

[The kappa seems like he knows what he's doing so a guitar is in his hand in moments.]

Thank you. Any requests?

( sixteen is the perfect age to learn that you should always butter up an old witch's ego. great way to avoid hexes and curses.

she snorts, amused by the response. )

That eager to show off, huh?

( but she has absolutely nothing better to be doing at this moment. )

Well, let's hear which one you think you play best.

[Oh, she's ready to hear the greatest thing ever? The most angelic display of musical talent this city's ever seen? The way his hands float over the strings before settling where they should on the neck. He raises one hand and brings it down-

To the most discordant, horrific group of sounds this poor guitar has ever had the displeasure of making. It's twenty seconds of pure ear pain. It isn't even charming in a screamo metal way, it's just absolute pain.

When he finishes, he grins, absolutely proud of himself.]

So?

( for a moment, there is nothing but silence as eda presses two knuckles against the underside of her chin.

then she nods. )

Not bad. Not really that good, but you've got a knack for it. With some practice you could really hit some ear-splitting notes.

( she nods a few more times, considering this. she also wonders if she could get some money out of this.

musicians need managers, right?

although, she's not really sure this genre of demon music is going to be as big of a hit here as it was on the boiling isles. )

[Yeah but see he's on the HUNT. THE HUNT FOR CATS.

Specifically a cat who is currently out of the metaphorical bag, as its leaping around with both tails on display in a panicked rush attempting to escape its pursuer. Unfortunately, Metal's living up to that ideal terminator image in his dauntless pursuit as he just won't let up. The bakeneko leaps on the counter? He's there before it can even consider its next move. Under a table? He flips it right out of the way.

It runs under and through Eda's legs to escape?

He, uh.

He ain't gonna fit under there but he's still running, jumping and trying to slide under anyway...possibly expecting her to be the one to move cause he's rude.]

( counterpoint: it is just a cat.

double counterpoint: there is staff, not including eda, who would probably be willing to help out with whatever it is that's going on here.

yet, instead, some metal demon or fairy or whatever is tearing through the cafe like the star of an action film. she almost feels like she should be grateful nothing is inexplicably catching on fire (like in the movies).

then he's sliding right under—

no. we're not doing this. )

Whoa! Hey! Who raised you?

( immediately, she's trying to stop his momentum with her foot. )

Don't chase the cats!

[And the moment he collides with her foot he just...stops immediately, dead in his tracks. Because it's funny.

His head tilts a bit to look past her, noticing that the cat is at least till there (but probably looking a bit more smug given a stranger is intervening on its behalf) so he doesn't react with too much urgency yet. His head just tilts up to look at Eda from the floor.]

That cat is a criminal. I am in pursuit.

( that makes her laugh. )

I don't really think cats have any concept of "crime".

( said complete with air quotes. )

Are you going to put them in little kitty handcuffs?

( take 'em to kitty court?

to go to kitty jail?

no, wait. the cafe is basically kitty jail. )

I do not need anything to restrain it with. I will restrain it myself.

[He answers completely seriously, because he is unfortunately no fun.

Who needs kitty handcuffs when you have DEADLY CLAWS. Deadly claws he is currently using to push himself up off the floor and stand up.]

Do not interfere.

I'm not...!

[ Kou responds with a huff. He's definitely not making a mess. Kind of. He's mostly trying to avoid getting his drink on him because a particularly rambunctious cat is purring and demanding all of his attention. ]

It was an accident... [ He sighs and then pauses- ] Oh, hey, nice ears.

Edited 2022-08-27 00:34 (UTC)

( immediately, she clicks her tongue and extends finger-guns towards the customer. )

Looks good on me, right? Natural.

( and that's enough flattery to get her to attempt to do some work, finally coming out from behind the counter. )

If you hold him, he'll settle down some.

( a beat. )

But he will put that chilly nose of his on your neck.

Totally natural.

[ Kou laughs and shoots her a smile as he tries to settle the cat in his arms. ]

I think that's fine, though. If he's comfortable enough to give me some attention, I'll take it. It's... nice.

Yeah?

( she tilts her head. as she approaches, she picks up one of the more friendlier cats and sits her down beside him.

the cat doesn't acknowledge having been moved, stretching out to get comfortable as if nothing happened at all. )

Having a rough day?

Well, I landed here and I'm still figuring out this whole city and everything in it...

[ He shrugs with a little smile. ]

So taking a bit of time to just unwind with some cats seems like it might be kind of cool. Besides, I've never been to a cat cafe before!

[ the golden guard is out here living up to his name and... hunting down criminals! cat criminals. so far he's had no luck and a face full of scratches. ]

[ this would be much easier if he had his staff. or at least flapjack to turn into staff #2, though he isn't used to using him at all. ]

[ he's made his way to the cat cafe when a familiar voice yells... ]

Owl Lady! I knew you had something to do with this!

[ he did not. he didn't even know she was here. but listen, it makes sense. this cat is doing crimes. eda is a wild witch who does crimes. it's all coming together ]

( for the very first time, eda could actually say that she is happy to see this kid. she'll probably never say that again, but right now it's very true.

right now, him being here means that there is a higher chance of someone else from the boiling isles being here as well.

ugh, but he's doing this whole thing right now. who's got this kind of time? )

Oh, kid. I thought we were already past this.

( well, whatever.

more importantly— )

Did you come here with anyone?

[ Power glances up from her table with a guilty start. She's absolutely surrounded by cats, they're perched on her shoulders, curled up on her lap, lying on her head, and sprawled across the table. More importantly, her sleeve is absolutely soaked in strawberry milkshake, and the glass is conspicuously rolling across the floor.

She points at the tuxedo cat flopped on her head. He's lying right between her horns, just blissed out of his kitty mind. ]

... He did it.

( this girl looks absolutely ridiculous. she's going to be finding cat hair on her body for days. maybe longer depending on her grooming habits.

it's kind of cute. weird, but kind of cute. )

Are you popular!

( idly, she wonders if you could charge more for this kind of experience. service fee?

humans would.

she leans further against the counter, draping herself across it. )

You're still going to have to pick that up.

[ This is the fate Power has chosen for herself, she is happy to live in a sea of cat hair! ]

But it wasn't me! The Bakeneko did it!

[ Protests aside, Power does reluctantly get up and picks up the glass, the tuxedo cat still sprawled across her head like he's piloting a mech. Her usual first instinct is to blatantly lie her way out of trouble, but she doesn't want to risk getting kicked out of the cat cafe, it's the best thing about this place! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

eda 🦉 owl house 🦉 ota

talent baybee

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I would say I'm sorry for him but that would be lying

:)

sticky paws

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sticky paws

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sticky paws (pardon me as i voicetest)

barks in excitement! bark bark bark

sticky paws!

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