AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

[jigokumods]

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1. SHUTEN TERRITORY - Muscling In

art by tohdraws

In the aftermath of the curse crisis, the Shuten Clan forgave a bunch of protection payments in the region, and helped cover the costs for rebuilding. Unfortunately, some of the street gangs in the area are much less civically minded. They have used the Shuten's relaxed policies as an opportunity to turn their own screws on the local business owners. These unaffiliated youth gangs have been much rougher with the locals, and have been asking for even larger collection fees. This has pissed off the folks who are just trying to get their lives and businesses back on track!

Unfortunately, the opening of Sai no Kawara in the underground drew so much of the clan's focus and manpower, that the issues up top just slipped through the cracks. Until now! Toraguma is in a bad mood and is looking for people to take it out on: the youth gangs will do just fine.

Volunteers are being solicited to join the regular Shuten enforcers in driving these interlopers out of Shuten territory. The gangs are wise to the usual Shuten tactics, though, and they're prepared for a fight. They are also appealing to the influx of Lost Souls: they act as though they're the victims of the factions' power struggles! They propose that taking up arms against the Shuten Clan will win them favor with the other groups in the city. (It will look less good with the Shuten Clan, should you be assigned to them.)

Fight with the Shutens, or with the gangs. Either way, a fight is coming.

2. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Throat Goat (NSFW)

at by akai riot

This prompt is overtly sexual in nature. Please use the proper NSFW labelling in your top levels and threads.

While the Palace of Sai in the underground is doing well, that doesn't mean the other businesses in the Tamamo Clan's collection have been slacking. One of the least "classy" soaplands has decided they're going to hold a contest to drive up business for themselves! They are partnering with some of the other sex clubs in the area for the sleaziest of events.

The Hyottoko Cup is looking for volunteer participants! The competition is pretty straightforward: a ruler is drawn on the throat of each participant and an array of members is presented to swallow. Whichever contestant can take the guests deepest and longest will take home the "coveted" Hyottoko Cup! Ok, there's a little judge favoritism involved too, so put on a show.

The guests have likewise been pulled in as volunteers, with instructions that they don't have to make this easy on the participants. Guests are provided with special seals that they can use for the length of the competition to enhance their natural assets. For those lacking the equipment entirely, there's a seal for that too.

Have fun and play nice.

3. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Strike a Poise (GEN)

Other businesses looking to jump start this month's earnings are also getting in on the spirit of competition! Businesses less oriented towards sexual service have come together as a means to draw in the high dollar clients, and one local club has proposed something old school.

Sign up for the Poise Contest, where contestants are placed into more and more ridiculous geta while tasked with serving drinks to the guest. Spills are expected, and the guests are cheerfully kitted out with cheap club-branded ponchos to protect their clothes. (Marketing, am I right?) While spills are expected, the contestant will lose points for each of the spilled drinks. Try to keep your balance as you attend to increasingly absurd drink orders. The intensity of the traditional footwear will only make your job that much harder.

Do you have what it takes to pour a champagne fountain while wearing teetering tengu geta? Prove your balance and dexterity is the best and the take home prize is some sweet cash. For Lost Souls freshly in the city, the chance to win some extra money can't really be passed up, huh…

4. SUTOKU TERRITORY - Jigokucho's Got Talent

Ever since Moonday's beloved singer – Ringo-chan – was kidnapped at the Tanabata festival, the band has had to cancel all of their scheduled gigs. Unfortunately, they were a hugely popular act, booked solid in most of the Sutoku Alliance's various nightclubs. This has left a ton of empty spots that need to be filled quickly, before the crowds get upset and demand… refunds.

That's where you come in, Lost Souls! Desperate promoters and talent bookers are literally grabbing Lost Souls off the street and begging, pleading, with them to perform a set for the night. They just need to have something to fill the space Moonday would have otherwise occupied. At least give the crowd something to see!

Acts do not need to be of the musical variety. Any performing talent is accepted, no matter how esoteric or bizarre! If it can fill out a 15-30 minute set, the club owners will be happy and the customers will at least see something interesting; even if it's a bad kind of interesting. So get on stage and show this city what you've got!

( Help us fill our time slots, please! We're desperate! 😩)

5. DEPARTMENT OF THE ENMA - Sticky Paws II: Outta the Bag

The Enma Department is busy: they have a kidnapping to investigate, a primordial god to pin down, and the crisis of their ever-shifting public image to manage. However, crime never sleeps and is always there to add to the troubled Department's workload. Worse still, we thought this little crime spree was over six months ago! But here it is again, much to the Enma's chagrin.

Cat cafés are a popular tourist attraction all across Jigokucho. About six months ago, a gang of bakeneko infiltrated several of the cafés to rob customers occupied with kitty bliss. Wallets, jewelry, and anything else those sticky paws could snatch away were being picked in droves. The cat capers are afoot once more!

Are you a hapless victim of these furry thieves, or are you helping the Department of the Enma track down these cat burglars? Unfortunately, the bakeneko are exceptionally clever and are using a seal to disguise their secondary tails. This makes them look just about like any normal cat. Better make sure your lead is good, or you'll be chasing down an ordinary Felis Catus. Soft to pet, but not going to return your pilfered cash.

Of course, the café staff might be in on this caper too… It's never easy to tell who's getting a cut of the profits. Be careful who you trust out there.

6. ALL OVER - The 100 Billion Yen Man (PLOT RELEVANT)

The local TV news has been announcing that Kaberou Kannazaki – the legendary finance wolf and the father of kidnapping victim, Ringo-chan – will be making an announcement this week. People have flocked to television sets throughout the city; at the squares, around TVs in bars, electronic stores, each other's phones, and any other venue with a connection. The kidnapping has been a highly public ordeal and the talk of the town. Many of the locals were present at the festival and witnessed the crime. They want to hear what the word is!

The public doesn't have to wait long. Wolf-eared Kaberou sits at a press desk, surrounded by microphones, and dazzled with flashbulbs. He clears his throat and, as he begins to speak, he is direct and to the point; not unlike a wolf lunging for the throat.

"As of today, I am issuing a bounty on the man known as the Iron Bear, who has claimed responsibility for the kidnapping of my daughter, Ringo Kannazaki. The payout to the party responsible for bringing me Iron Bear, dead or alive, is 100 Billion Yen. Individuals or groups, I don't care. Just bring my daughter back to me, and the money is yours."

Well! The Department of the Enma's hopes of an orderly investigation have been dashed, but this is certainly an opportunity for anyone brave enough – or, more accurately, stupid enough – to traverse the Wasteland. Maybe one of you out there will find the legendary Iron Bear and bring him to some form of justice.

Local businesses are quick to leap at this opportunity, too. They begin to aggressively push sponsorships at would-be bounty hunters. Weapons? Armor? Survival gear? All at discount prices! Each faction has their interest in collecting the massive bounty as well. They will all be putting a lot of pressure on recruits to get ready to head out to the Wastes.

If you just got here? Well, it would definitely be in your interest to start finding gear, and finding people willing to collect that bounty with you. It could mean a big step forward toward your eventual contract, after all.

Welcome to the test drive meme!

• First of all, big thanks to our discord chat for the "Throat Goat" prompt idea. Stay golden, gang.
• IF YOU'RE TOP-LEVELING A NEW CHARACTER, post it here!
• Characters already in the game can top level as well.
• Threads here can be considered game canon.
• Characters can be recruited to do work for any faction until they're given their official assignment.
• If you have any questions about the TDM content, please ask them here! You can find information on the story so far here!
• If you have questions about the game itself, please check out the premise, FAQ, and rules pages.
• Reserves are open until September 5th.

Comments

[truestrength]

That they have no idea what they're doing? Yeah.

[ He hopes whoever is getting roped into this particular scam ends up sitting out the actual bounty hunting when it comes down to it. Unnecessary deaths like that would become a nuisance. ]

They better leave this to the people who do.

[vivens]

[ there's a sigh that escapes sabo as he shakes his head. he also holds a hope that people wouldn't go about and hurt themselves but on the same coin, he has experience with this sort of thing. ]

For as much money that's being offered, I doubt that they will.

[ he puts the mallet back down and reaches to pick up what looks to be a...flute? some sort of whistle maybe. the temptation to blow on it is there but he ultimately doesn't. ]

It would take a very particular person to be able to ignore that amount of money.

[truestrength]

I would if I didn't think I could get him.

[ But Kurogane knows that people tend to trip over themselves for large sums of money like that. He eyes that flute, briefly wondering if Sabo is going to play it. ]

I guess it comes down to knowing your own limits. I don't bother with crap I know I won't be able to do.

[ Like easily using that mallet, for one. Which is why he eyes a pair of brass knuckles instead. ]

[vivens]

[ it probably isn't super hygienic to blow on a flute that's for sale but it's not like sabo has to put his mouth completely on the flute or anything like that. so, yes, he will blow into the hole and given the lack of aptitude (or effort) that sabo is putting into it, the flute barely produces any kind of noise.

sad really. like a small whistle. ]

So you plan on trying to take him down with your own fists? [ that's...interesting. ] Or is that just going to be one of many other "options" you'll bring with you?

[ a question that sabo follows up with a subtle gesture of someone nearby with an armful of various weapons. would that person even know how to use them? who knows. ]

[truestrength]

[ It's really too bad the flute isn't some sort of special weapon. ]

If I can't find a good enough sword, I'll use my fists.

[ He spares a glance at that person with their arms full, his frown deepening just a bit in response. There's no way they know how to use all of those efficiently enough to go after a tough bounty. ]

Using weapons I don't know much about will just slow me down.

[vivens]

[ unless??? no, you really can't.

but the logic behind why he'll stick with his fist than go with something more practical than a flute and less of what he's looking for is funny. it makes to sabo but he'll chuckle at it. ]

That's some approach to take; I think most of the people that I know would try to improvise with whatever they find than opt into going without.

[ and cue the mystery person with armful of weapons dropping one of them on the ground with a hiss. ]

However, when considering the other option, I can see why it can be not that much different.

[truestrength]

Weapons you don't know well can cause accidents. I'm not as likely to accidentally hit myself in the face with my fist.

[ Unless someone uses some confusion magic on him or something... ]

I'm precise, so I like to keep it that way.

[vivens]

[ okay but the thought of kuro punching himself in the face like it's just another day is suddenly really funny to him. he won't try to laugh too much but he will snicker some. ]

I would hope that you wouldn't accidentally hit yourself with your own face.

Someone with your demeanor clearly would be above such things unless it'd be part of some wider plan.

[truestrength]

Yeah, I'd do it if I had to. I guess as a distraction to play dirty.

[ Hm... Mokona has made him hit himself in the face before, though, so... ]

Guess I'm not above it.

[vivens]

[ sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do? and sabo's going to let out a bit of a good-natured scoff. ]

I wouldn't call it playing dirty if it's a way to get something done that isn't at the expense of anyone innocent or some uninvolved bystander.

[ like disguises! and pocket sand! not that sabo's done the later. ]

There's a saying about that kind of thing, right?

[truestrength]

Probably.

[ Though he doesn't know it... mostly because he's not the kind of guy that pays attention to sayings. ]

I always try to keep people who have nothing to do with whatever I'm doing out of it.

[ Not that he's a moral, upstanding guy... it's just easier. ]

[vivens]

[ a soft laugh. that's fair. ]

And how successful are you at doing that?

[ he doesn't mean it to challenge kuro but just curious here, and if he somewhat accidentally slips up with implying he does a bit sneaking around himself then it is what it is. ]

I always find it particularly hard to shake off people who are a bit too eager and too stubborn to accept where they fit into the grand picture.

[truestrength]

I tell them how I feel.

[ Which sounds really sweet initially, but the bluntness with which Kurogane speaks might suggest otherwise. ]

I'll also pick them up and throw them far enough away so they don't get in my way.

[vivens]

[ that.

honestly, the follow up has sabo breaking out in a full body laugh because he has known kuro for exactly... however many amount of time here, but he can already imagine him picking up some hapless fool and tossing them to the side like a sack of potatoes.

it'll take him a moment to recover and once he does, he'll try to be composed for it. ]

I know we barely know one another, however, I don't doubt that you would do that.

[ ahem as he works through the rest of the lingering giggles. ]

I haven't done that myself, but has anyone tried to run back to you?

[truestrength]

[ WOW. He thought he was going to go without having some blondie laugh at him for at least a little while! Even in hell, he can’t escape that.

He silently glares at Sabo, simply waiting for him to finish. ]

No. I don’t involve myself with people stupid enough to not listen to me twice.

[vivens]

[ sorry kuro; there are things in this world that need to remain constants. one of those is that he must have a blonde laughing at him. at leas this blonde isn't the lazy bones type.

small blessings right? you know, even as he shrugs off the glare and softly doubts. ]

Is that so? I imagine that you must have had at least one encounter where there was someone too stubborn to accept your judgement.

[truestrength]

...

[ A look passes over his face, one that's hard to quantify. It's not his usual frown, but he certainly doesn't look happy. ]

Yeah. An idiot wizard that would rather run away than listen. But he isn't here, so it doesn't matter.

[vivens]

[ oh? sabo will just quietly make a note of this expression and says nothing about it. instead he'll be quietly amused about the answer he receives. ]

So you were upset with him for running away when you'd want him to stay.

[ given what kuro had been saying before, at least, that seemed to be the logical assumption. if they were going to be in the way then it would have been best for them to not be there, ie. it would be good for this "idiot wizard" to have run away. but if they weren't going to be in the way and ran away... ]

If he was an idiot for running away then I assume it wasn't exactly due to him being a coward.

[ since it wouldn't be an idiot move. unless this was an "affectionate" descriptor. ]

[truestrength]

[ He makes another face, because what the hell!! Of course Kurogane doesn't want him to stay. That would require admitting a lot of things he doesn't want to. ]

He's a coward, but not when it comes to fighting. Instead of actually doing something, he fools around. So, he's an idiot.

[vivens]

[ hmmm...

sabo is witnessing something but he doesn't know what it is that he's actively witnessing. ]

Those are some pretty contradicting statements you're making here. This wizard friend of your's seems interesting.

[truestrength]

[ Kurogane makes yet another face... ]

He's annoying more than anything, but you'd probably get along.

[ Sabo seems so friendly and personable... there's no way they wouldn't get along well. ]