jigokufever | AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

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AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

1. SHUTEN TERRITORY - Muscling In

art by tohdraws

In the aftermath of the curse crisis, the Shuten Clan forgave a bunch of protection payments in the region, and helped cover the costs for rebuilding. Unfortunately, some of the street gangs in the area are much less civically minded. They have used the Shuten's relaxed policies as an opportunity to turn their own screws on the local business owners. These unaffiliated youth gangs have been much rougher with the locals, and have been asking for even larger collection fees. This has pissed off the folks who are just trying to get their lives and businesses back on track!

Unfortunately, the opening of Sai no Kawara in the underground drew so much of the clan's focus and manpower, that the issues up top just slipped through the cracks. Until now! Toraguma is in a bad mood and is looking for people to take it out on: the youth gangs will do just fine.

Volunteers are being solicited to join the regular Shuten enforcers in driving these interlopers out of Shuten territory. The gangs are wise to the usual Shuten tactics, though, and they're prepared for a fight. They are also appealing to the influx of Lost Souls: they act as though they're the victims of the factions' power struggles! They propose that taking up arms against the Shuten Clan will win them favor with the other groups in the city. (It will look less good with the Shuten Clan, should you be assigned to them.)

Fight with the Shutens, or with the gangs. Either way, a fight is coming.

2. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Throat Goat (NSFW)

at by akai riot

This prompt is overtly sexual in nature. Please use the proper NSFW labelling in your top levels and threads.

While the Palace of Sai in the underground is doing well, that doesn't mean the other businesses in the Tamamo Clan's collection have been slacking. One of the least "classy" soaplands has decided they're going to hold a contest to drive up business for themselves! They are partnering with some of the other sex clubs in the area for the sleaziest of events.

The Hyottoko Cup is looking for volunteer participants! The competition is pretty straightforward: a ruler is drawn on the throat of each participant and an array of members is presented to swallow. Whichever contestant can take the guests deepest and longest will take home the "coveted" Hyottoko Cup! Ok, there's a little judge favoritism involved too, so put on a show.

The guests have likewise been pulled in as volunteers, with instructions that they don't have to make this easy on the participants. Guests are provided with special seals that they can use for the length of the competition to enhance their natural assets. For those lacking the equipment entirely, there's a seal for that too.

Have fun and play nice.

3. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Strike a Poise (GEN)

Other businesses looking to jump start this month's earnings are also getting in on the spirit of competition! Businesses less oriented towards sexual service have come together as a means to draw in the high dollar clients, and one local club has proposed something old school.

Sign up for the Poise Contest, where contestants are placed into more and more ridiculous geta while tasked with serving drinks to the guest. Spills are expected, and the guests are cheerfully kitted out with cheap club-branded ponchos to protect their clothes. (Marketing, am I right?) While spills are expected, the contestant will lose points for each of the spilled drinks. Try to keep your balance as you attend to increasingly absurd drink orders. The intensity of the traditional footwear will only make your job that much harder.

Do you have what it takes to pour a champagne fountain while wearing teetering tengu geta? Prove your balance and dexterity is the best and the take home prize is some sweet cash. For Lost Souls freshly in the city, the chance to win some extra money can't really be passed up, huh…

4. SUTOKU TERRITORY - Jigokucho's Got Talent

Ever since Moonday's beloved singer – Ringo-chan – was kidnapped at the Tanabata festival, the band has had to cancel all of their scheduled gigs. Unfortunately, they were a hugely popular act, booked solid in most of the Sutoku Alliance's various nightclubs. This has left a ton of empty spots that need to be filled quickly, before the crowds get upset and demand… refunds.

That's where you come in, Lost Souls! Desperate promoters and talent bookers are literally grabbing Lost Souls off the street and begging, pleading, with them to perform a set for the night. They just need to have something to fill the space Moonday would have otherwise occupied. At least give the crowd something to see!

Acts do not need to be of the musical variety. Any performing talent is accepted, no matter how esoteric or bizarre! If it can fill out a 15-30 minute set, the club owners will be happy and the customers will at least see something interesting; even if it's a bad kind of interesting. So get on stage and show this city what you've got!

( Help us fill our time slots, please! We're desperate! 😩)

5. DEPARTMENT OF THE ENMA - Sticky Paws II: Outta the Bag

The Enma Department is busy: they have a kidnapping to investigate, a primordial god to pin down, and the crisis of their ever-shifting public image to manage. However, crime never sleeps and is always there to add to the troubled Department's workload. Worse still, we thought this little crime spree was over six months ago! But here it is again, much to the Enma's chagrin.

Cat cafés are a popular tourist attraction all across Jigokucho. About six months ago, a gang of bakeneko infiltrated several of the cafés to rob customers occupied with kitty bliss. Wallets, jewelry, and anything else those sticky paws could snatch away were being picked in droves. The cat capers are afoot once more!

Are you a hapless victim of these furry thieves, or are you helping the Department of the Enma track down these cat burglars? Unfortunately, the bakeneko are exceptionally clever and are using a seal to disguise their secondary tails. This makes them look just about like any normal cat. Better make sure your lead is good, or you'll be chasing down an ordinary Felis Catus. Soft to pet, but not going to return your pilfered cash.

Of course, the café staff might be in on this caper too… It's never easy to tell who's getting a cut of the profits. Be careful who you trust out there.

6. ALL OVER - The 100 Billion Yen Man (PLOT RELEVANT)

The local TV news has been announcing that Kaberou Kannazaki – the legendary finance wolf and the father of kidnapping victim, Ringo-chan – will be making an announcement this week. People have flocked to television sets throughout the city; at the squares, around TVs in bars, electronic stores, each other's phones, and any other venue with a connection. The kidnapping has been a highly public ordeal and the talk of the town. Many of the locals were present at the festival and witnessed the crime. They want to hear what the word is!

The public doesn't have to wait long. Wolf-eared Kaberou sits at a press desk, surrounded by microphones, and dazzled with flashbulbs. He clears his throat and, as he begins to speak, he is direct and to the point; not unlike a wolf lunging for the throat.

"As of today, I am issuing a bounty on the man known as the Iron Bear, who has claimed responsibility for the kidnapping of my daughter, Ringo Kannazaki. The payout to the party responsible for bringing me Iron Bear, dead or alive, is 100 Billion Yen. Individuals or groups, I don't care. Just bring my daughter back to me, and the money is yours."

Well! The Department of the Enma's hopes of an orderly investigation have been dashed, but this is certainly an opportunity for anyone brave enough – or, more accurately, stupid enough – to traverse the Wasteland. Maybe one of you out there will find the legendary Iron Bear and bring him to some form of justice.

Local businesses are quick to leap at this opportunity, too. They begin to aggressively push sponsorships at would-be bounty hunters. Weapons? Armor? Survival gear? All at discount prices! Each faction has their interest in collecting the massive bounty as well. They will all be putting a lot of pressure on recruits to get ready to head out to the Wastes.

If you just got here? Well, it would definitely be in your interest to start finding gear, and finding people willing to collect that bounty with you. It could mean a big step forward toward your eventual contract, after all.

Welcome to the test drive meme!

First of all, big thanks to our discord chat for the "Throat Goat" prompt idea. Stay golden, gang.
IF YOU'RE TOP-LEVELING A NEW CHARACTER, post it here!
Characters already in the game can top level as well.
Threads here can be considered game canon.
Characters can be recruited to do work for any faction until they're given their official assignment.
If you have any questions about the TDM content, please ask them here! You can find information on the story so far here!
If you have questions about the game itself, please check out the premise, FAQ, and rules pages.
Reserves are open until September 5th.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[There are so many out to the shops today, after that big announcement.

Thoma of course, is getting to know the lay of the land, where the shops are, who he can make connections with, the whole nine yards. He'll have to start from scratch all over again if he wants to build what he had in Inazuma, and this is a great place to start.

He seems to be walking in on a conversation, and it seems the shopkeeper is underestimating the woman asking about a spear.]

Pardon me, [he chimes in, smiling at the shopkeeper.] You allow customers to at least test the weapon before buying it, don't you?

[Let's get that spear for her.]

[Looking at the person next to her, there were a lot of questions she wanted to ask herself. While she might not be familiar with Inazuma, she knew enough that Thoma's outfit looked like she had seen it somewhere before.

Still, she couldn't help but let out a giggle.]

Why thank you, I'm afraid that people do underestimate me.

[That said, as the owner gave a nod? She got the spear in her hands before leaning a little closer.] Although, I suppose you don't?

[Thoma's happy to see that she's gotten the particular spear she was looking at, and while he's here, he'll test one for himself as well. But before he requests the one up on the wall that he's eyeing, Hu Tao addresses him.]

Hehe, people will really surprise you. I've learned that you should never judge a book by its cover.

[He asks for a spear of his own, taking it from the owner and balancing it in his hands.]

Mind helping me out with this? Sometimes another set of eyes can see how a weapon either helps or hinders its wielder. I'll do the same for you, of course.

Indeed, one definitely shouldn't. Although, I suppose the same goes to you too.

[With the spear in his hand, Hu Tao couldn't help but wonder. She knows she shouldn't make judgements based on first appearance along, and yet?]

I don't mind helping you out but I do have you ask you something. I'm assuming you are a trained fighter from Inazuma, correct?

[Thoma gestures to Hu Tao to follow him, out to a more open area near the shop. The shopkeeper will keep an eye on them of course, so they don't steal the spears, but Thoma isn't concerned. He, at least, had no intention of stealing.]

My clothes really give it away, don't they? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're from Liyue, right?

[Given the vision that's visible on her clothing and the style, he figured she was someone from home, who also got dragged into this strange hell he finds himself in.]

It's actually really comforting to know that there's others from Teyvat here. When I first arrived, I thought I was all alone again.

Yes, you are correct! I suppose how I dress does give it away as I'm not really being inconspicuous.

[Not that she minds but it does make her wonder how many people from her world was going to show up. As she walked toward the open area, she quickly got into a fighting stance and waited to see what he would do.]

But you are in luck! There are definitely quite a few people from our world here! Although, I'm not sure if I should be happy about that or not.

[Separating from Hu Tao so he can give his own spear a good couple of spins, he judges the weight and balance- not too shabby. He can make do with this.]

Hehe, I can understand why, if they're the type that's hard to get along with. You make it sound like you got a little unlucky with who showed up.

[Thoma personally is glad for the ones that are here, well, maybe except Lady Guuji, but he'll make due, right? Maybe increased exposure will make him less scared of her.

He takes a fighting stance of his own, ready to do a little light sparring with her, studying her stance while making sure his own allows him to be light on his feet.]

No, not quite! I'm rather happy with the people who showed up. Who can argue when my employee and my friends are here?

[Granted, it was a little odd to refer to Chongyun and Xingqiu as her friends when the feeling was mutual. Regardless, as she prepared herself to lunge herself toward him, she gave a light giggle.]

However, I should introduce myself. The name is Hu Tao! Who do I owe the pleasure of meeting?

[As she attempted to swing her polearm to the side, she was curious to see how strong he was.]

[The polearm is spun to the side to block her swing, grinning. He could already tell she was quite good with the weapon, and it's understandable why she was so adamant about getting it. He wasn't fighting with an amateur.]

I'm Thoma! It's nice to meet you! So...

[With a grunt, Thoma prepares his own counter, swinging his spear a few times at her. It should give her a good feel for her weapon, he thinks, as it's definitely doing it for him.]

Are you out here trying to get a sponsorship too? I've noticed many are looking to be the one to claim the bounty that just got put out.

[While she wasn't surprised to see how he was skilled with the weapon, she was surprised to see how easily he used it. Every time he swung the spear, she had to take a few steps back to ensure she didn't fall.

How interesting!]

Then the pleasure is mine! But yes, I am! For you see, I am rather jealous that there are some businesses that are taking away from my own!

[With that, she took another step forward before attempting to strike him at his feet.]

So I figured I'd see what they had to offer!

[That strike got a little too close for comfort next to his feet, as he chooses to dodge it by planting the spear into the ground and kicking himself upwards- to form the fire barrier he's fond of using when trying to protect himself and others from harm. Not that he's terribly worried about Hu Tao hitting him- he just wanted to test its balance.

Thoma stops attacking for a moment, to spin the spear in his hands a little bit now. He's got a much better feel for this weapon. It's pretty good.]

Oh? What kind of business do you run? Another weapon shop, perhaps?

[She's pretty good with that spear, so it doesn't seem to be all that farfetched to assume that maybe she was in that shop to scope out her competition.]

[It seemed that his speed wasn't too bad. Here, she thought she excelled in being able to attack an opponent quickly. Raising an eyebrow, she took a few steps back before placing her weapon in front of her.

If he was going to keep on spinning, should she be prepared for an attack?]

No, I run a rather special business. For you see, I'm a funeral director so you can imagine what kind of services I run!

[And all with a smile!]

[The spear comes down to his side, his fighting stance open. Though that is not the profession he expected out of Hu Tao. But someone's gotta do it, right? People die all the time...though what kind of funeral services do you need in Hell?]

I don't mean to be a little morbid here, but...

[Thoma comes in to attack once more, a little more fierce this time. He might even buy this spear if it's durable.]

Aren't all these sponsorships only going to benefit your business? Not that I want to see anyone get hurt-! [He says, his spear swinging at her.] But it seems pretty dangerous!

[Based on his stance, she had a feeling he was surprised to hear what she does. Not that she should be surprised herself, she was used to it. Still, she didn't have time to think about it as she used the middle of her spear to block his attack.]

It should but now all of these attractions could also be used to spend more time in my business. Not only am I doing burials but also showing demonstrations!

[Taking a step back, she prepared herself to lunge forward at him.]

Or rather, teaching them how important burying a body is.

Edited 2022-09-11 21:51 (UTC)

[Thoma readies himself, to block the next attack that's coming straight at him. From what he's gathered from this fight, the weapon is well done. He may actually purchase it after all.]

I didn't know people had to be taught the importance of burying a body...

[Now he's starting to think she might be a little odd, but hey. She works with dead people, so who's he to judge?]

Do you mean how to bury a body? [Oh, that actually...doesn't sound better, when he thinks about it.]

[He isn't wrong, Hu Tao is a rather strange individual with a rather unique sense of style. That said, she couldn't help but lean in a little closer before giving a rather wide grin.]

You'll be surprised! There are many different ways to bury a body depending on who the person is.

[As she lowered her guard, she wondered if he might dare attack her in a vulnerable state.]

It certainly puts the fun in funeral! [hur hur hur.]

[He's starting to wonder why she sounds so bright and cheerful about this. Maybe...he should start being worried?]

You're really passionate about this, aren't you?

[It's a rhetorical question really, that he asks as he relaxes. He wouldn't attack her when she's vulnerable- that's not what this exercise is for.]

You know, I might not be able to help out much now, but what if I sent some people your way in the future, to help your business out?

Of course I am! Otherwise, I wouldn't be in this profession for I do enjoy helping people!

[Although, that depends on what Thoma's definition of "helping" is in regards to burials. But now that she found herself relaxed, at least she knows he wouldn't be the type to attack her even when they were in the middle of a fight. Nodding to herself, she placed both of her hands in front of her before putting them together.

With a grin or two, she chuckled.]

Be careful though, you might end up making quite few enemies! We certainly wouldn't want you to hurt some people, hm?

Oh, no, that's not quite what I meant...

[He's not sure what she was thinking, but he'd definitely prefer not to hurt people in the process...just let them know that her business exists and does more than just burials!]

I just meant that maybe I'd just spread the word, I'm not interested in killing anyone, hehe...

[Cue some nervous laughter on his part. He hopes she didn't take it that way.]

Are you sure? It certainly sounds like you had some other business in mind!

[With that, she waved her hand in front of face before letting out a light chuckle.]

That said, I hope you're prepared for what is to come in this strange world. Death is certainly quite common around here along with various violence. Be prepared, you might have to fight quite often.

[As she lowered her spear down, she gestured back to the store.]

[He begins to walk back towards the store as she directs, letting it fall to his side to walk back with her. He laughs a little nervously, because those words do seem to hold very true here, if the atmosphere was any indication.]

I sort of got the feeling this place was like that. That's why I don't really mind picking up a weapon to defend myself with. Speaking of which, how did that work out for you?

[He inclines his head towards her own spear, the one the shop owner called her short over.]

I'm afraid it depends on how long you stay. The longer you do, the more the leaders will give you a weapon from your world.

[She said before giving a very dramatic sigh. Placing her head downward, all she could do was say how difficult everything was!]

All I have is an Iron Polearm. What a pity. Don't they know it's rude to keep a girl waiting?

[Thoma hadn't even considered asking for a weapon from home. He knew that you could ask for things, but...he was thinking something more along the lines of his old duster.]

Hahaha! It certainly is, but it sounds to me like it's time they finally give you something of better, ah, quality.

[Yeah Iron Polearm, not good. Not good at all.]

That one will do for now though, won't it? I assume you were planning on buying it.

Nope, I'm afraid not. Even if my Iron Polearm isn't of the upmost quality, I can't part with it. It's been with me for a while and it even helped me through the tough times.

[That said, as she handed back the spear to the owner, she gave Thoma a look or two.]

Unless you were planning on buying it. That's a rather roundabout way of asking me to get it for you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

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