jigokufever | AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

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AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

1. SHUTEN TERRITORY - Muscling In

art by tohdraws

In the aftermath of the curse crisis, the Shuten Clan forgave a bunch of protection payments in the region, and helped cover the costs for rebuilding. Unfortunately, some of the street gangs in the area are much less civically minded. They have used the Shuten's relaxed policies as an opportunity to turn their own screws on the local business owners. These unaffiliated youth gangs have been much rougher with the locals, and have been asking for even larger collection fees. This has pissed off the folks who are just trying to get their lives and businesses back on track!

Unfortunately, the opening of Sai no Kawara in the underground drew so much of the clan's focus and manpower, that the issues up top just slipped through the cracks. Until now! Toraguma is in a bad mood and is looking for people to take it out on: the youth gangs will do just fine.

Volunteers are being solicited to join the regular Shuten enforcers in driving these interlopers out of Shuten territory. The gangs are wise to the usual Shuten tactics, though, and they're prepared for a fight. They are also appealing to the influx of Lost Souls: they act as though they're the victims of the factions' power struggles! They propose that taking up arms against the Shuten Clan will win them favor with the other groups in the city. (It will look less good with the Shuten Clan, should you be assigned to them.)

Fight with the Shutens, or with the gangs. Either way, a fight is coming.

2. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Throat Goat (NSFW)

at by akai riot

This prompt is overtly sexual in nature. Please use the proper NSFW labelling in your top levels and threads.

While the Palace of Sai in the underground is doing well, that doesn't mean the other businesses in the Tamamo Clan's collection have been slacking. One of the least "classy" soaplands has decided they're going to hold a contest to drive up business for themselves! They are partnering with some of the other sex clubs in the area for the sleaziest of events.

The Hyottoko Cup is looking for volunteer participants! The competition is pretty straightforward: a ruler is drawn on the throat of each participant and an array of members is presented to swallow. Whichever contestant can take the guests deepest and longest will take home the "coveted" Hyottoko Cup! Ok, there's a little judge favoritism involved too, so put on a show.

The guests have likewise been pulled in as volunteers, with instructions that they don't have to make this easy on the participants. Guests are provided with special seals that they can use for the length of the competition to enhance their natural assets. For those lacking the equipment entirely, there's a seal for that too.

Have fun and play nice.

3. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Strike a Poise (GEN)

Other businesses looking to jump start this month's earnings are also getting in on the spirit of competition! Businesses less oriented towards sexual service have come together as a means to draw in the high dollar clients, and one local club has proposed something old school.

Sign up for the Poise Contest, where contestants are placed into more and more ridiculous geta while tasked with serving drinks to the guest. Spills are expected, and the guests are cheerfully kitted out with cheap club-branded ponchos to protect their clothes. (Marketing, am I right?) While spills are expected, the contestant will lose points for each of the spilled drinks. Try to keep your balance as you attend to increasingly absurd drink orders. The intensity of the traditional footwear will only make your job that much harder.

Do you have what it takes to pour a champagne fountain while wearing teetering tengu geta? Prove your balance and dexterity is the best and the take home prize is some sweet cash. For Lost Souls freshly in the city, the chance to win some extra money can't really be passed up, huh…

4. SUTOKU TERRITORY - Jigokucho's Got Talent

Ever since Moonday's beloved singer – Ringo-chan – was kidnapped at the Tanabata festival, the band has had to cancel all of their scheduled gigs. Unfortunately, they were a hugely popular act, booked solid in most of the Sutoku Alliance's various nightclubs. This has left a ton of empty spots that need to be filled quickly, before the crowds get upset and demand… refunds.

That's where you come in, Lost Souls! Desperate promoters and talent bookers are literally grabbing Lost Souls off the street and begging, pleading, with them to perform a set for the night. They just need to have something to fill the space Moonday would have otherwise occupied. At least give the crowd something to see!

Acts do not need to be of the musical variety. Any performing talent is accepted, no matter how esoteric or bizarre! If it can fill out a 15-30 minute set, the club owners will be happy and the customers will at least see something interesting; even if it's a bad kind of interesting. So get on stage and show this city what you've got!

( Help us fill our time slots, please! We're desperate! 😩)

5. DEPARTMENT OF THE ENMA - Sticky Paws II: Outta the Bag

The Enma Department is busy: they have a kidnapping to investigate, a primordial god to pin down, and the crisis of their ever-shifting public image to manage. However, crime never sleeps and is always there to add to the troubled Department's workload. Worse still, we thought this little crime spree was over six months ago! But here it is again, much to the Enma's chagrin.

Cat cafés are a popular tourist attraction all across Jigokucho. About six months ago, a gang of bakeneko infiltrated several of the cafés to rob customers occupied with kitty bliss. Wallets, jewelry, and anything else those sticky paws could snatch away were being picked in droves. The cat capers are afoot once more!

Are you a hapless victim of these furry thieves, or are you helping the Department of the Enma track down these cat burglars? Unfortunately, the bakeneko are exceptionally clever and are using a seal to disguise their secondary tails. This makes them look just about like any normal cat. Better make sure your lead is good, or you'll be chasing down an ordinary Felis Catus. Soft to pet, but not going to return your pilfered cash.

Of course, the café staff might be in on this caper too… It's never easy to tell who's getting a cut of the profits. Be careful who you trust out there.

6. ALL OVER - The 100 Billion Yen Man (PLOT RELEVANT)

The local TV news has been announcing that Kaberou Kannazaki – the legendary finance wolf and the father of kidnapping victim, Ringo-chan – will be making an announcement this week. People have flocked to television sets throughout the city; at the squares, around TVs in bars, electronic stores, each other's phones, and any other venue with a connection. The kidnapping has been a highly public ordeal and the talk of the town. Many of the locals were present at the festival and witnessed the crime. They want to hear what the word is!

The public doesn't have to wait long. Wolf-eared Kaberou sits at a press desk, surrounded by microphones, and dazzled with flashbulbs. He clears his throat and, as he begins to speak, he is direct and to the point; not unlike a wolf lunging for the throat.

"As of today, I am issuing a bounty on the man known as the Iron Bear, who has claimed responsibility for the kidnapping of my daughter, Ringo Kannazaki. The payout to the party responsible for bringing me Iron Bear, dead or alive, is 100 Billion Yen. Individuals or groups, I don't care. Just bring my daughter back to me, and the money is yours."

Well! The Department of the Enma's hopes of an orderly investigation have been dashed, but this is certainly an opportunity for anyone brave enough – or, more accurately, stupid enough – to traverse the Wasteland. Maybe one of you out there will find the legendary Iron Bear and bring him to some form of justice.

Local businesses are quick to leap at this opportunity, too. They begin to aggressively push sponsorships at would-be bounty hunters. Weapons? Armor? Survival gear? All at discount prices! Each faction has their interest in collecting the massive bounty as well. They will all be putting a lot of pressure on recruits to get ready to head out to the Wastes.

If you just got here? Well, it would definitely be in your interest to start finding gear, and finding people willing to collect that bounty with you. It could mean a big step forward toward your eventual contract, after all.

Welcome to the test drive meme!

First of all, big thanks to our discord chat for the "Throat Goat" prompt idea. Stay golden, gang.
IF YOU'RE TOP-LEVELING A NEW CHARACTER, post it here!
Characters already in the game can top level as well.
Threads here can be considered game canon.
Characters can be recruited to do work for any faction until they're given their official assignment.
If you have any questions about the TDM content, please ask them here! You can find information on the story so far here!
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Reserves are open until September 5th.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[OOC note: I am caught up to 6.2. Though I'm undecided on canon point, it'll definitely be pre-Final Days. Any spoilers will be marked in the subject of the thread, though I intend to try and avoid them at all if possible. And for clarity, I don't count "Themis is young Elidibus" as a spoiler.]

1: Muscling In

[The frustrating part of all this is that, as Emissary, he's inclined to try and stay neutral, he's duty-bound to stay neutral -- and yet he's been warned multiple times now about how doing so is a bad idea. It conflicts with everything he's learned, but in order to get by, he may have to forgo the idea and find a niche somewhere.

And unfortunately for Themis, he does not look like the type capable of defending himself at a glance when it comes to gangs on the prowl. He's petite, somewhat slender, and has something of a baby face to go with it. And while it'd be a lie to say this does not serve its own ends at times, when it comes to scaring off people who might want trouble... it doesn't at all.

With his magicks watered down as they are, he might need some help. These gangs are nothing if not persistent.]

Begging your pardon. I am not seeking trouble, I simply wish to--

[As soon as he raises his hands in entreaty, one of them throws a punch. He catches it, taking a step backwards, but knowing full well he's outnumbered and outmatched in a physical fight. If he can just muster the aether for a binding spell...]

2: Strike a Poise

[Well, this seems innocuous enough, and suffice it to say he's going to need to start earning his keep in a society where there is no such thing as being provided for, where the Convocation has no sway. And, well, the veritable stilts on these sandals do make him look taller!

The trouble is, they're just as tricky to move about in as he figured they'd be. Themis takes slow, careful steps, but even then, there are times when he sways while attempting to shift his weight one way or the other. He even makes it to the table to pour the champagne, but right when it counts, his grip slips, his ankle rolls, and he goes down.

He does manage to make the split-second decision not to grab the tablecloth for support, to his credit. But he does his best to set the sandals flat on the ground so he can get to his feet, brushing himself off... and noticing the pool of champagne all over the tablecloth, and on the customer's lap.]

My apologies... This contest certainly is a worthy challenge, isn't it?

3: 100 Billion Yen Man

text; username: emissary

An announcement like that certainly does galvanize the public into action... But I know little and less of the wastes, so I would ask about the potential dangers of the area first. Is it more or less comparable to a desert in its harshness, or is there more to it?

[ A hand suddenly clamps upon the shoulder of the one who threw the punch. A familiar visage looms: Emet-Selch, mouth set in a thin line and brow knitted in its seemingly perpetual frown. ]

I'd advise against throwing another punch. Or is it custom for men to attack emissaries now?

Emet-Selch!

[While he wasn't about to shy from the situation, another he knows being here, and another whom he knows is good at defending himself, is comforting.

Themis winds up as much energy as he can and sets the binding spell into motion at the gang's feet, aetherial chains snaking around them to hold them fast. It does the trick- -- for the weaker members, at least. But the bonds don't look like they'll last long on the stronger ones.]

Your assistance would be appreciated.

[ The would-be assaulter shrugs Emet-Selch off roughly and even manages to stamp off the chains (unfortunately). There's no time for a response as Emet-Selch now has to defend himself against a ruffian, although his time spent learning some close combat moves in the Garlean army seems to have paid off. He easily turns the thug's strength against them and pins them to the ground. ]

Next I shall break your arm, [ he states calmly. ] Unless you leave with your friends.

Edited 2022-09-02 03:19 (UTC)

[The rest of the group are unimpressed, still convinced that, with sheer numbers, they can overpower the two of them. Themis sees them readying to come at Emet-Selch, erecting a magical barrier over him; like the last one, it's unlikely to hold for long, but it'll serve its purpose as a distraction while they attempt to break it.

Then it's time to get serious.]

I think not!

[Firing off bursts of light that scald bare skin, he aims for their faces with keen accuracy with the intent of burning their eyes. Even if one or two should manage to recover, being unable to see will discourage them from lashing out any further.

(...Was Emet-Selch always able to take people down like that, or did he just fail to fathom how skilled he was at fighting?)]

[ His own powers are crippled here but he casts a simple fire spell to set their shirts alight. Their own fear and panic and blindness will do the rest.

Unless they're exceptionally stupid. Like the one who charges at him yelling wildly like a madman.

He simply stands to one side and sticks his foot out.

The man goes flying, sprawling with a heavy thud against the ground. Emet-Selch's lips twitch in amusement as he watches them writhe about, only now just registering the flames. ]

[Yes, that would indeed qualify as exceptionally stupid. Those who remain unscathed start to see the folly in provoking the two of them further, and begin to turn tail, many leaving their fellow members to flail in agony on the ground.

...A pitiful showing, all considered. Especially in simply leaving the others for death, should he and Emet-Selch have been inclined to that. But Themis is content to simply scaring them off, with perhaps a few extra bruises and scars to show for it.]

Thank you, Emet-Selch. It has been quite a long time since I had to defend myself like that.

[He can't even remember how long, to be honest. There's just no need within the city of Amaurot.]

Ah... forgive me, but I must sate my curiosity. Have you always been capable of such feats?

[ The man on fire flees, screaming. Emet-Selch doesn't bother to pursue. If they die then they die - they had made their choice by attacking. He turns instead towards Elidibus, frowning down at the shorter man. The warmth and familiarity in their tone...he hasn't heard such in their voice in centuries. ]

...No. I learnt during my time living amongst mortals.

[ He crosses his arms. As usual, he doesn't look happy. (Does he ever?) ]

Why aren't you wearing the mask of your station?

[ Why are you dressed like that at all? ]

[Themis hesitates. He'll have to press on that statement about living with mortals, but first--]

Ah... I was in the midst of an undercover investigation which required me to remove my mask. I'd originally replaced it with the standard one as a temporary measure, but it seems to have been swapped for the mask of my station...

[It appears to mean nothing here either way, though, so he figured he may as well wait to don it again. Once that question is answered, though, he follows up with one of his own.]

By that, you must mean your time here, right? Seeing as there are so many of them?

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emet_sulk - 2022-09-07 16:52 (UTC) - Expand

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heartofsalvation - 2022-09-08 10:08 (UTC) - Expand

[9S, as expected, got totally distracted by the various offerings in the Tanamo territory, which is how he ended up here as guest to this weird contest. He can't even claim it's a weird quirk of humans when many of the staff are... something else. But they seem harmless enough and the drinks are a curious novelty that does nothing for him other than leave an odd taste on his tongue.

Still, when a seemingly human contestant takes a spill, 9S finds himself by his side to help him back onto his feet, despite being one of the staff.]

You were doing great until that point.

[9S flashes Themis a grin.]

I think they're prepared for spills... so don't worry about it! [A beat.] Are you gonna keep going?

My thanks. [He smiles, a little awkwardly.] I find it quite hard to imagine anyone doing this perfectly...

[Everyone's going to fall at least once, probably. It's the kind of niche skill that he can't fathom anyone would come in already being good at it. Themis moves one of his feet, the wood hitting the floor with that clop sound.]

But if you fancy anything else, I wouldn't mind trying again.

[9S gives Themis an encouraging grin.]

Alright. I'm cheering for you!

[9S certainly hasn't had enough, so he orders another drink -- apparently some kind of whiskey cocktail -- that, unknown to him, is served in the widest glass, making it incredibly tricky to serve while on such unstable footwear.]

Overflow

[And help is what he'll get, as a woman quickly makes her way from one of the nearby alleyways adjacent to Themis. With her hand tightly gripping her scythe, she doesn't hesitate to rush one of his attackers with her body. The attacker falling to the ground, as she rushes to Themis' side to make sure that he was alright. Her eyes giving up a quick one over, as she stands in front of him as a shield.]

You alright, kid? That was pretty impressive -- catching that punch.

[She has no idea how old Themis truly is, and it's her default reaction to someone who looks younger than her. The baby face certainly didn't help, and she's already in her mother mode to protect him from harm. The hand that grasps her scythe lifting upward, ready to attack. Well aware that there's quite a bit of them, but she could probably handle it if he could fight with her.

Maybe.]

Back it up, or you're going to get an ass kicking.

[Surely the Daitengu wouldn't mind.]

[Certainly, he's not going to object to a fast, powerful woman taking his would-be assailants down for him, but he's admittedly curious as to how old she thinks he must be. He's already established that mortals in this and other worlds live much more abridged lives on average -- does she think he might be one such example?]

I am quite all right, thank you.

[Themis responds politely with a smile and a nod, raising a hand as if to begin casting a spell.]

Do you need any assistance? Hampered though my powers are here, I am not completely bereft of them.

[It takes her by surprise that he's quite calm at the moment, but that doesn't completely stray her attention away from his assailants. If they weren't itching for a fight before, they certainly were now, as they give Marie and Themis an annoyed, but cocky smirk. The sound of knuckles being cracked echoing throughout the area, which prompts Marie to ready her scythe in hand.

She looks back at Themis, though, and takes note that he seems to be able to cast spells. Her thoughts confirmed once he speaks, which gives Marie a bit more comfort in knowing she won't be completely alone during this fight.]

Wouldn't mind the help! I'll distract them for you so you have time to cast.

[Or so she assumes. He certainly looked like a caster.

Her attention turns back to the assailants. An unconscious smirk appearing on her face, as she darts forward with her scythe, swinging it forward to disperse the would be crowd around them with ease. The offending party just barely dodging the sharp blade of her scythe, as she barrels forward with several slashes. Most of them stumbling on their feet in an attempt to dodge; some of them hilariously falling onto the ground.

However, some of them are agile enough to dodge, and she herself dodges backward to avoid several punches coming her way. Buying more than enough time for Themis to use his powers.]

Overflow

[One of the others seems to wind up in preparation to throw a punch while Themis is occupied with the first attacker. But when he moves to swing, his arm doesn't budge. It's been seized from behind by a man with a stone-like grip.]

Enough. There's no need to involve bystanders in this ridiculous spat.

[His voice is calm and authoritative, and he acts as if he doesn't notice how many of the gang members seem to be sizing him up now. As far as they're concerned, two opponents shouldn't be that much harder to take than one.]

[Indeed, it's drawing attention to himself where otherwise there would be none -- a noble act, for sure, but hopefully he's capable of backing it up with actions.

All the same, Themis's lips twitch into a frown. He reaches outward, then starts channeling as much energy to the ground as he can, manifesting it as a gravity spell. It won't last long, but for now, they find their feet stuck to the ground.]

Do you intend to stay and fight, sir?

[There's a spark of curiosity in the masked man's eye.]

... Never seen a spell like that before.

[He lets go of the ruffian and takes a few steps closer to Themis, keeping an eye on the immobilized gangsters. To his question...]

Not if I have no reason to. If you have the opportunity to run, you might as well take it.

[It seems to be a suggestion for Themis as much as it is a warning for the attackers.]

[A fair enough answer, but he isn't satisfied, by the look on his face.]

Will you not come with me? 'Twould be cowardly of me to leave you to fight alone.

[His gaze still on the gangsters, he lets out a small sigh.]

... I suppose I have no objections. I'm not interested in getting mixed up between the bickering factions of a place I've only barely set foot in.

[He turns to face Themis and starts walking.]

[Themis follows, in perfect agreement with that statement. That it's barely been bells and the factions are already attempting to rope him into their conflicts...]

I thank you for your intervention, by the way. I fear they might have grown overly bold in seeing me alone, a mistake I will try not to make again.

[The spell will wane soon. Not wanting to be caught up in the aftermath, he picks up the pace.]

Ah, admittedly, seeing you masked like that tempts me to put my own on out of respect, though I have seen few here who cover their faces. Do you do so out of practicality, if I may ask?

[There's a glance behind him as they walk, but it looks like they aren't being pursued.]

... In a sense. My face isn't suitable for public spaces. [He returns his gaze to the streets ahead of them.] Though I can see this is hardly a normal city...

And what about you? [A nod to his robes and mask.] Are you some kind of priest, or...?

Suitable for...?

[Well, he doesn't seem horribly misshapen from the outside, at least? Themis just looks at him, confused.]

Oh, no, I am no priest. 'Tis simply customary in my city to wear robes and a mask at all times. Though I am well-versed in magic, as you have seen, my power seems to have been reduced to a very basic level here.

I think you would be correct about this not being a normal city, however. I can assure you that however unsightly you think your visage, I have already seen worse, and it's hardly been half a day.

[A small quirk of a smile. It's not a lie to make him feel better, either; oni are not known for their dashing good looks, it seems.]

AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

Themis (Elidibus) | Final Fantasy XIV

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2: Strike a poise

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