jigokufever | AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

1. SHUTEN TERRITORY - Muscling In

art by tohdraws

In the aftermath of the curse crisis, the Shuten Clan forgave a bunch of protection payments in the region, and helped cover the costs for rebuilding. Unfortunately, some of the street gangs in the area are much less civically minded. They have used the Shuten's relaxed policies as an opportunity to turn their own screws on the local business owners. These unaffiliated youth gangs have been much rougher with the locals, and have been asking for even larger collection fees. This has pissed off the folks who are just trying to get their lives and businesses back on track!

Unfortunately, the opening of Sai no Kawara in the underground drew so much of the clan's focus and manpower, that the issues up top just slipped through the cracks. Until now! Toraguma is in a bad mood and is looking for people to take it out on: the youth gangs will do just fine.

Volunteers are being solicited to join the regular Shuten enforcers in driving these interlopers out of Shuten territory. The gangs are wise to the usual Shuten tactics, though, and they're prepared for a fight. They are also appealing to the influx of Lost Souls: they act as though they're the victims of the factions' power struggles! They propose that taking up arms against the Shuten Clan will win them favor with the other groups in the city. (It will look less good with the Shuten Clan, should you be assigned to them.)

Fight with the Shutens, or with the gangs. Either way, a fight is coming.

2. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Throat Goat (NSFW)

at by akai riot

This prompt is overtly sexual in nature. Please use the proper NSFW labelling in your top levels and threads.

While the Palace of Sai in the underground is doing well, that doesn't mean the other businesses in the Tamamo Clan's collection have been slacking. One of the least "classy" soaplands has decided they're going to hold a contest to drive up business for themselves! They are partnering with some of the other sex clubs in the area for the sleaziest of events.

The Hyottoko Cup is looking for volunteer participants! The competition is pretty straightforward: a ruler is drawn on the throat of each participant and an array of members is presented to swallow. Whichever contestant can take the guests deepest and longest will take home the "coveted" Hyottoko Cup! Ok, there's a little judge favoritism involved too, so put on a show.

The guests have likewise been pulled in as volunteers, with instructions that they don't have to make this easy on the participants. Guests are provided with special seals that they can use for the length of the competition to enhance their natural assets. For those lacking the equipment entirely, there's a seal for that too.

Have fun and play nice.

3. TAMAMO TERRITORY - Strike a Poise (GEN)

Other businesses looking to jump start this month's earnings are also getting in on the spirit of competition! Businesses less oriented towards sexual service have come together as a means to draw in the high dollar clients, and one local club has proposed something old school.

Sign up for the Poise Contest, where contestants are placed into more and more ridiculous geta while tasked with serving drinks to the guest. Spills are expected, and the guests are cheerfully kitted out with cheap club-branded ponchos to protect their clothes. (Marketing, am I right?) While spills are expected, the contestant will lose points for each of the spilled drinks. Try to keep your balance as you attend to increasingly absurd drink orders. The intensity of the traditional footwear will only make your job that much harder.

Do you have what it takes to pour a champagne fountain while wearing teetering tengu geta? Prove your balance and dexterity is the best and the take home prize is some sweet cash. For Lost Souls freshly in the city, the chance to win some extra money can't really be passed up, huh…

4. SUTOKU TERRITORY - Jigokucho's Got Talent

Ever since Moonday's beloved singer – Ringo-chan – was kidnapped at the Tanabata festival, the band has had to cancel all of their scheduled gigs. Unfortunately, they were a hugely popular act, booked solid in most of the Sutoku Alliance's various nightclubs. This has left a ton of empty spots that need to be filled quickly, before the crowds get upset and demand… refunds.

That's where you come in, Lost Souls! Desperate promoters and talent bookers are literally grabbing Lost Souls off the street and begging, pleading, with them to perform a set for the night. They just need to have something to fill the space Moonday would have otherwise occupied. At least give the crowd something to see!

Acts do not need to be of the musical variety. Any performing talent is accepted, no matter how esoteric or bizarre! If it can fill out a 15-30 minute set, the club owners will be happy and the customers will at least see something interesting; even if it's a bad kind of interesting. So get on stage and show this city what you've got!

( Help us fill our time slots, please! We're desperate! 😩)

5. DEPARTMENT OF THE ENMA - Sticky Paws II: Outta the Bag

The Enma Department is busy: they have a kidnapping to investigate, a primordial god to pin down, and the crisis of their ever-shifting public image to manage. However, crime never sleeps and is always there to add to the troubled Department's workload. Worse still, we thought this little crime spree was over six months ago! But here it is again, much to the Enma's chagrin.

Cat cafés are a popular tourist attraction all across Jigokucho. About six months ago, a gang of bakeneko infiltrated several of the cafés to rob customers occupied with kitty bliss. Wallets, jewelry, and anything else those sticky paws could snatch away were being picked in droves. The cat capers are afoot once more!

Are you a hapless victim of these furry thieves, or are you helping the Department of the Enma track down these cat burglars? Unfortunately, the bakeneko are exceptionally clever and are using a seal to disguise their secondary tails. This makes them look just about like any normal cat. Better make sure your lead is good, or you'll be chasing down an ordinary Felis Catus. Soft to pet, but not going to return your pilfered cash.

Of course, the café staff might be in on this caper too… It's never easy to tell who's getting a cut of the profits. Be careful who you trust out there.

6. ALL OVER - The 100 Billion Yen Man (PLOT RELEVANT)

The local TV news has been announcing that Kaberou Kannazaki – the legendary finance wolf and the father of kidnapping victim, Ringo-chan – will be making an announcement this week. People have flocked to television sets throughout the city; at the squares, around TVs in bars, electronic stores, each other's phones, and any other venue with a connection. The kidnapping has been a highly public ordeal and the talk of the town. Many of the locals were present at the festival and witnessed the crime. They want to hear what the word is!

The public doesn't have to wait long. Wolf-eared Kaberou sits at a press desk, surrounded by microphones, and dazzled with flashbulbs. He clears his throat and, as he begins to speak, he is direct and to the point; not unlike a wolf lunging for the throat.

"As of today, I am issuing a bounty on the man known as the Iron Bear, who has claimed responsibility for the kidnapping of my daughter, Ringo Kannazaki. The payout to the party responsible for bringing me Iron Bear, dead or alive, is 100 Billion Yen. Individuals or groups, I don't care. Just bring my daughter back to me, and the money is yours."

Well! The Department of the Enma's hopes of an orderly investigation have been dashed, but this is certainly an opportunity for anyone brave enough – or, more accurately, stupid enough – to traverse the Wasteland. Maybe one of you out there will find the legendary Iron Bear and bring him to some form of justice.

Local businesses are quick to leap at this opportunity, too. They begin to aggressively push sponsorships at would-be bounty hunters. Weapons? Armor? Survival gear? All at discount prices! Each faction has their interest in collecting the massive bounty as well. They will all be putting a lot of pressure on recruits to get ready to head out to the Wastes.

If you just got here? Well, it would definitely be in your interest to start finding gear, and finding people willing to collect that bounty with you. It could mean a big step forward toward your eventual contract, after all.

Welcome to the test drive meme!

First of all, big thanks to our discord chat for the "Throat Goat" prompt idea. Stay golden, gang.
IF YOU'RE TOP-LEVELING A NEW CHARACTER, post it here!
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Reserves are open until September 5th.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Wonderful. Just wonderful. It's always violence in the end, isn't it? Even when he gives someone a chance, they always choose violence. They always disappoint him.

His fists clench by his sides as he watches the small group readying for a fight. He's lived too long to simply roll over and let them sweep him aside. He may not have a weapon, but his time in the army has afforded him some knowledge of close, unarmed combat. ]

Fine... 'Tis the same no matter where I find myself. I don't know why I expected aught else.

[ He hears heavy footsteps behind him and twists to the side, smoothly catching the arm throwing a punch meant for his head and flipping the thug over his hip. They land with a meaty thud, all the wind knocked out of them.

And just like that, the fight is on. ]

[ Even G'raha can't help but since as one of the teenagers crashes back down onto the ground, groaning and rolling over. ]

In their defense, this is supposedly hell. Or some variation of it.

[ Kind of like "I'm not sure what you expected here" sort of tone. Even G'raha had known, but had elected to at least make the attempt. Then again, so had Emet-Selch just now. The Miqo'te does wonder if it is exhausting to always have such a dismal outlook. ]

Perhaps -

[ Not that he gets to finish. One of the youths rushes forward. Not at Emet-Selch, but at the Miqo'te. He, too, is without his staff.

But not sheild. ]

The Underworld is not nearly so rowdy as this.

[ He fends off another wild attack, jamming his elbow against their solar plexus so that they fall away, stunned. He thrusts out a hand and a fireball streaks out. It strikes the miqo'te's attacker squarely in the back. While the impact does very little, it does set their clothes alight - that distraction should be enough for the other man to take care of them. ]

Don't tell me that's the best you can do! [ he tosses out tauntingly towards G'raha. ]

Somehow I doubt you were fully resting there as well.

[ All things considering, that is. From the way that the man had complained over and over again, one would think that the star itself is dead set against him resting. Even upon drifting in the aetherial sea.

Neither here nor there though. Because the clothes on fire does provide adequate distraction for G'raha to bash his shield against the attacker. That will... Leave a mark. And probably a headache that will last for several days. ]

I think you will find yourself somewhat also diminished, thank you!

[ Well that is less Exarch in him and more young G'raha, feeling a little bit of wilted pride there. It's only in coming out of the Tower that he had any talent with magicks in the first place. ]

Hmph.

[ Diminished his magicks may be but a person is only as weak as they believe themselves to be. Emet-Selch does not need the shallow comfort of his vast reservoir of aether to know he is capable. He turns away from G'raha's opponents to deal with his own, employing the close combat arts he had picked up during his time in the Garlean army to throw or toss those who come at him. Through his hands, he channels a constant current of levin which shocks all those he grabs; with the wind, he pushes others off-balance to throw off their aim. When he can, he spares a solid kick to the abdomen to ensure they stay down too.

Such tactics are nothing new to him. After all, Garleans aren't supposed to be able to use aether. ]

here!

AUGUST 2022 TEST DRIVE

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