February 2022 Test Drive

[jigokumods]

MAIN NAVIGATION

1. ENTRY

It feels like a dream as you wake up in what appears to be a government office. It is remarkably mundane: white walls, small screens with the number that is being served and at what desk, chairs along the perimeter of the room, and pleasant music playing from unseen speakers. There's nothing out of the ordinary, right?

Then you take a look at the inhabitants in the office: Lost Souls and youkai alike make up the ranks of a never-ending line in front of a desk manned by an akaname in a suit. However, another youkai, a hyakume, is your first contact in this world. You're instructed to take a number and stand in the queue. Take a seat if you want– but you're reminded to be quick when your number is called or you'll be passed by.

Congratulations: you're in Hell.

If you're lucky, you're in line behind a fellow Lost Soul. If you're less lucky, you're stuck behind any number of youkai that may be disturbing to look at or ones that may actively try to harm you. The ones with long arms may even try to steal your ticket from further back in the line.

Make small talk, try not to freak out, and keep your ticket safe (or maybe try to steal a better one) as you make your way up in the line.

2. THE CITY

Once you've been processed through the line, you're given your assignment to one of the four possible clans with directions to their respective clan offices. The city itself looks remarkably similar to a modern Japanese city, complete with narrow alleyways connecting wider streets. Glaring neon signs advertising various businesses compete for your attention, even the most mundane businesses.

Once you tear your attention away from the myriad distractions, your task is to find your way to the office. The akaname didn't exactly give you clear directions, just a piece of paper with an address printed on it. You’re on your own to find your way there.

• Those assigned to the Shuten Clan are directed to the gambling district.
  
• The Tamamo Clan members are directed to the red light district.
  
• New members of the Sutoku Alliance are pointed to the entertainment district.
  
• Those assigned to The Department of the Enma are sent to the administrative district.

Ask your fellow Lost Souls for directions or stubbornly find your way to the office all on your own. No matter how you get there, once you've made your way to the office you're given your lodgings (for rookies, it’s always the cheapest inn or apartment block in the area) and told to go out and get a feel for the city.

3. STREET FIGHT - SHUTEN TERRITORY

Scuffles break out all the time in Jigokucho, especially in the district dominated by the Shuten Clan. Whether it's a rival clan posturing over someone being on the wrong turf, shakedowns of all sorts, or just someone with a chip on their shoulder picking a fight: it always draws a crowd of onlookers.

No matter what street you're going down or what you're on your way to do, there always seems to be a fight to block the way. Take a look, take bets, or maybe you're the one caught in the brawl. Maybe someone decided they didn't like the way you looked at them or maybe they're trying to catch you in a petty scam. You may also feel the need to step in when fights are looking particularly one-sided.

Get used to this happening.

4. STICKY PAWS - SUTOKU TERRITORY

One of the more adorable features in the city is a cat cafe. Located within Sutoku territory, it always draws a steady crowd. If you're lured in by the adorable cats in the window, you're welcomed into a pleasant, cat-friendly environment with cats of every shape, color, and size lounging on various surfaces while being doted on by patrons. Of course not everything is as it seems: these are no ordinary cats. They're bakeneko in disguise and this cafe is a clever way to spirit away a few more coins for the Sutoku Alliance's coffers.

You may notice your wallet is a few (thousand) bills lighter at some point during your visit or your wallet may be missing entirely. Maybe it was one of your fellow patrons helping themselves while you were playing with a cat or maybe it was one of the cats. Who's to say? You quickly realize this place is not on the up and up; you have to do something about it.

Chase down one of the cats, confront your fellow patrons, or maybe try to shake down the owner for information. The latter won't get you very far, but maybe it'll make you feel better about losing your cash to a cute scam.

5. HELP WANTED - TAMAMO TERRITORY

CW: potentially NSFW, optional aphro

If you find yourself in the red light district, you might find yourself pulled into something else entirely. A scout in front of one of the numerous clubs drags you in off the street, assuming you're from the Tamamo Clan. It doesn't matter if you are or not, the scout is not listening to your protests. They say something about staffing shortages as you're shoved into the employee area of the club. The club manager then pushes some clothes at you and tells you to get out onto the floor once you're dressed. It might be a host club, it might be a bikini or banana bar, or maybe something even more salacious – whatever it is, you're working there for the night.

There are also barkers aggressively recruiting clients for these clubs, promising a good time for anyone who wants it. Whether it be the company of a pretty host or hostess, the lurid appeal of a strip show, or perhaps even other pleasures of the flesh: there's plenty to tempt even the most resistant.

Work at a club for the night or partake in the pleasures. Drinks flow like water, some with a little something extra to help things along. Everything is transactional here. As you have the money, you're bound to find something that tickles your fancy.

Welcome to the test drive meme!

• Threads here can be considered game canon.
• If you have any questions about the TDM content, please ask them here!
• If you have questions about the game itself, please check out the premise, FAQ, and rules pages.
• Reserves are open until March 5th.

Comments

harrier du bois | disco elysium

[horrifictie]

Entry

[ Getting his ticket nearly snatched by a strange beast out of his worst (or maybe best) nightmares is enough to decide on a counter-measure. With a touch of madness in his voice, he loudly announces: ]

You want my number?! [ Then, he unzips his pants and makes a grand display of shoving the ticket into his briefs. Nothing pops out of there at the least. ] Come and get it!

[ He rezips the pants and beams a prideful grin. Then he turns his head to *you*, watching the show - ] Got a problem?

Street Fight

[ The brawl is over. Whether you got into the thick of it or cowered away or even watched from the sidelines, for now there is a momentary peace. However, in the aftermath there are casualties. Take, for example, the large man in the wacky disco clothes who has found himself lodged inside a trash can. Only he doesn't fit all the way through. His legs hang from the front, his head hanging down the back, and if you check on him his eyes are dazed and far away. His face is bruised and though he's not bleeding there's a sure sign of damage.

Then again, that may just be how his face always looked judging by his general appearance.

Either way he's still alive, muttering something under his breath unintelligibly. And if you're close by he may take notice and with a pained mutter- ]

Help a man... out of the trash?

Sticky Paws

Let's be straight with each other: one of you took my wallet. And I can't go losing my ID *again*, especially not when I'm apparently in Hell. So... I'm going to give you a chance here. Give me back what you took and we'll part ways like it never happened.

[ The detective gives his terms to the three cats that congregate before him. A black cat with moons for eyes, a light brown/cream colored cat that yawns at his presence, and a rather fat orange tabby cat that sits with its tail lazily swishing over its seat. The officer grumbles- ]

What are you even going to *do* with that wallet? I'm broker in death than I was in life! Give it back... please?

[ The creatures are unmoved by his plea. Could you make a better appeal to their reason? ]

wildcard

[ for anything that doesn't match the prompts. feel free to pm to plan something out. for the tdm I'm playing as if he was taken by the Sutoku Alliance! ]

street fight

[pushpin]

[ ever a purveyor of casual violence, the crowd commotion and sounds of packing meat, snapping bone have drawn the redhead's attention like a moth to flame. the man he wanted to win doesn't, and although his naturally grimacing face wears disappointment well, he can't be too dissatisfied when all he'd come for in the first place was the smell of blood in the air. ]

[ the noxious plume of request from the garbage appeals not to his sense of camaraderie, but rather his innate sadism towards the everyman. he looks at bent appendages and punchdrunk eyes with a curl of his nose and a resolute stuffing of his hand in his pocket. from over his shoulder, he calls out to one such demon he's had an exchange with before — ]

Yo, over here.

[ and with some dutiful steering, the bedsore of a creature warbles and chitters in its journey to Harry's garbage can, slimy and slobbering open mouth beginning to slurp the refuse and detritus from off of his arm. helping! ]

[horrifictie]

[ LOGIC - Well it's not *ideal*, but the creature seems more interested in the waste that you have become entangled in than your flesh.
COMPOSURE - As the length of its tongue licks and slurps all across your arm and torso, a sickening sensation coils in your gut. It is perhaps a good thing that your body is too beaten to do anything but let it happen. Somehow, you can remain composed. ]

Cool. Thanks. [ His voice is hoarse and eyes unfocused, but there's no inflection of sarcasm in pointed words. Then his face twists, a brief cringe as the demon's mouth sucks on the back of his bruised hand. ] Ugh. Your pet is *grotesque*.

[pushpin]

My wh—

[ his wot, mate? the mere suggestion scrunches his face into greater displeasure than witnessing a middle-aged man in the garbage had. ]

D-don't make it weird, I don't know that guy...

[ the conditioned speaking of someone who had to learn that rocks had sentience, the last world he was visiting. this creature clearly has its own thoughts and emotions that aren't governed by him? damn? the "pet" in question seems to take equal offense, oozing and slopping its way towards the day-old banana peel mashed and mingling with one of Harry's side burns. ]

You the one who just got his ass kicked, anyway?

[horrifictie]

[ RHETORIC - Make it weird? Why is it weird? Obviously *both* of them are offended at this implication however. ]

So it's not your pet? What, then it's your buddy or something?

[ His head flinches when the demon comes up and gnashes at the banana peel that stuck onto the mess of hair all over the side of his face. Helpful but at what cost? He doesn't have anywhere to go and so all he can do is screw his eyes shut and let the demon pull at the browning peel, suppressing a gag.

CONCEPTUALIZATION - You didn't necessarily get your ass kicked. You weren't looking for a fight after all, it simply came *at* you. Reframe the situation. ]

I like to think of it as less "ass kicked" and more "thrown out".

Street Fight!

[demonrebel]

Still able to talk, huh?

[So asks one of the many spectators who was watching the brawl earlier. Instead of breaking up the fight as he should, Dante merely kicked up his feet and watched the fists fly. After all, he's not getting paid to babysit these morons. If anything, he's only getting paid to keep an eye on the bar. The Tamamo Clan only cares about one thing and that's money. As long as the drinks are flowing, they don't give a damn about anything else. That's something Dante can get behind despite the fact he's not particularly keen about being trapped in hell (yet, again).]

I'm shocked you still have all your teeth.

[He says before offering his hand to the guy. Even without his demonic strength, Dante is still pretty damn strong. He can yank tubby out of there easily with just minimal effort. That's probably why the Tamamo Clan acted fast to get him in their ranks.

He's the closest thing to a bonafide youkai.]

Don't be fooled by the Good Samaritan act. Do something stupid and I'll plant your face into the concrete.

[That's definitely a threat.]

[horrifictie]

[ PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - This guy may *look* like he's in the same weight class as you, but don't be fooled. His grip is powerful, yanking you out with the ease of a loosened cork from the bottle.
SAVOIR FAIRE - It isn't *smooth* but you at least come out feet first on the ground. Your knees bend with the heavy ache of age, but you retain balance as you rise up.
PAIN THRESHOLD - Just don't move around too fast. Or much at all. ]

If I haven't lost them yet, I don't think I ever will. [ He rubs his jaw, scrubbing chin and then cheek with calloused fingers. Is there ever a time he didn't feel like shit? ] I'm not getting caught in another street brawl if that's your definition of stupid. Can't promise much else.

[ He inhales a sharp breath and stretches up and forward, his back snapping enough that it could be caught past the city noise. The breath is released and with it- ]

Thanks for that.

oh, snap! you're doing the in-game monologues

[demonrebel]

Think nothing of it.

[Dante couldn't help but grimace a little when he heard that telltale crack. He gives the guy a sympathetic smirk.]

Those old bones aren’t what they used to be, huh?

[Their conversation gets interrupted by a loud crash all thanks to the same goons from earlier. They’re roaming down the block kicking over trashcans as they prowl the neighborhood like a bunch of wild alley cats. While this is their territory and all, those idiots are causing one hell of a ruckus. It’s enough to irk Dante’s nerves.]

Those guys are really out of hand. [He grumbles under his breath as he watches the punks swarm another unfortunate soul.] They’re tearing up their turf like a bunch of morons.

[A sigh of distaste escapes the demon hunter as he peeks back at the disco-clad fella beside him. He stares at him for a long moment, just taking in the sight of him before letting out a humored chuckle.]

Nice suit. I’ve never really liked disco but I can appreciate the style.

it isn't harry if he doesn't have his 24 brain goblins

[horrifictie]

[ ENDURANCE - It's odd. He makes those comments about your bones, but he doesn't look *that* far apart in age from you. He's clearly in the sort of shape you were last in a decade ago.
SAVOIR FAIRE - He also has a *wicked* leather jacket. ]

Thanks. [ Then, with a wave of an index finger, he points to Dante. ] Wicked jacket by the way.

[ He sniffs, pulling on his jacket by the sides and then swiftly flailing his fingers down the sleeves and then his legs to get rid of any lingering gunk that got on him. Sadly, only a couple stains are newly made. These clothes have survived many days with him. ]

We should get off the streets. I'm not looking for a round two when I barely scraped through one. What about you?

street fight!

[twofactor]

[Aiba knows her limits. All alone, there's no way she'd make it out of a street fight in one piece, so she'd scuttled well out of the way of this scrap. After a little while before she emerges from her hiding place, and when she does, she's sure to turn on the projection of her Somnium avatar. It'd be a real bummer if she made it all the way out here just to get accidentally stepped on, after all.

So when poor, beleaguered Harry calls out to the first stranger to pass his trash can, it's not a 4-inch tall hamster-eyeball: it's a slightly wobbly hologram of a pale-skinned woman with long white hair. Aiba's kind enough to stop right in her tracks. Of course she'd like to help him, but... ]

Erm... This is awkward.

[She stares down at the man, standing akimbo. How is she supposed to help him out if she can't actually pull him out of this?]

Sir, just so you know, I do not have the strength to pull you up whatsoever. But I can push you out of the trash can! Is that all right?

[horrifictie]

[ VISUAL CALCULUS - She can push you *out*? You can't manage to form a cohesive thought of how she could manage that.
PAIN THRESHOLD - It won't work. How can you be pushed out? It's useless. This is where you live now. ]

Sure. Push me *out*. [ He scoffs, voice cracked and full of defeat as his head sways to look her over. Then he turns back to the sky. ] Leave me to rot. This is where I belong. I'm the hobocop after all.

[twofactor]

Nonsense. [She beams, looking and sounding quite chipper.] If I have assumed correctly, you have been issued lodgings like every other new arrival.

[The defeated reply's enough of a yes for her. Her avatar flickers away, leaving her physical body just out of his line of sight. It takes a few moments for Aiba to plod over on her little legs to the opposite end of the trash can, but she does get there. Immediately she rests her paws on the metal, poised to shove the whole thing over.]

Please brace yourself for impact. I will be knocking you over on the count of three. One, two-- three!

[And in spite of her size, she shoves with just enough force to send Harry and the trash can tumbling forward.]

[horrifictie]

[ PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Bullshit. There's no way that little kid is going to do *shit*. We need to think--

But the thought is stopped as he feels the can lift and tumble forward, expelling him from the receptacle and onto the ground face first.

SAVOIR FAIRE - *Almost* face first. Your hands catch you just as your nose grazes against concrete. Lucky you! Your face is already impounded from the fight. ]

Holy crap! You *actually* got me out. [ The words fall out from his chest with a gasp, absolutely astounded in the moment. ] Thanks for that. I owe you...

[ His head turns over his shoulder, words trailing off. The girl is nowhere to be seen. Where did she go? His eyes dart around, trying to see if she walked off somewhere. All he sees is the trash can. ]

Hey, where did you go?

[ From his position, he doesn't notice the one-eye hamster who tipped over the trash bin. ]

sticky paws

[ryototsukai]

[ She wasn't particularly sure how she wound up in this situation, or at least had enough to drink that she couldn't quite remember. She definitely wasn't the investigative type, but even so, she had keen eyes, and she could have sworn she saw the cat that had swiped his wallet, but...

... Was it really one of these? ]

Man, tough crowd, huh?

[ Unhelpful, sure, but... ]

Maybe if you give them something in return? I know it's theft, but we don't have a high bargaining position, yanno?

[horrifictie]

[ AUTHORITY - Absolutely not. You don't hand out bribes, you take them. Do not negotiate with *terrorists*.
SUGGESTION - No, she has a point. In a desperate situation, an appeal of the heart doesn't do shit. Appeal to their base nature instead. ]

Hm... [ He scratches a muttonchop on his cheek, mulling her advice over. ] I don't really have anything to give them. What do cats want... mice? I could go hunt for some mice if I need to.

[ryototsukai]

I think you've had enough of a rough night without going on a mouse hunt, buddy...

[ Seriously, pal, let's try to keep some dignity here. ]

Bakeneko are still cats, at the end of the day, though, so maybe we're on the right track?

[ Musashi let out a thoughtful hum, staring down the group, trying to remember which one snatched that wallet at all... ]

If one of you sells out the thief, I'll get you some fish.

[ And she didn't need to hunt for that! There was a sushi place not far down the street... ]

paws

[formant]

( the thing is: shinsou loves cats. he never really seems to have the opportunity to have one himself, so cat cafes are a luxury he commonly likes to indulge in, if given the opportunity. this is not his first time in here, and while having money lifted out of his pocket on his first visit might seem to be a dissuading factor for returning, he... tries to discover ways to make do. such as: carefully leave his excess cash hidden as well as he can in his apartment before coming this way, so there's not much for them to steal as he spends an hour or two with the cats.

even if they are youkai, they're still cute enough.

he's watching the older man from a short distance away, a large black-and-white cat curled up in his lap. it purrs as he idly pets it, watching the scene unfold. he thought he was making some fairly good points and arguments, but... oof, that "please" at the end there really undermined them, didn't it? he almost winces. he doesn't exactly want to pity someone who's senior to him, but... he's dangerously close. )

Asking nicely probably won't help.

( they're pretty clever. shinsou hadn't been able to get back any of the money he'd lost his first time here. he pauses before continuing, expression tentatively sympathetic, ) They really took your whole wallet? ( bad luck... though, hadn't he said this wasn't the first time something like this had happened? there might be more afoot here. )

[horrifictie]

[ Harry, on the other hand, is not a cat person. Even with his retrograde amnesia he has the distinct sense of preferring dogs. Or even birds, the noisy sort that would constantly need his attention. Still, he thought this place was an interesting rest stop to explore. Not so much anymore. ]

The whole wallet. Not that it has much, but it's all I have for the moment.

[ The Sutoku Alliance took him in and gave him what he needed for basic first week survival. It stings to lose it to a bunch of demon cats. He sighs and turns his head over the shoulder to glance at the young man.

SUGGESTION - He seems fairly at ease in this cafe. Maybe he knows something you don't? ]

If not nicely, then what's the best approach? I've never interrogated animals before. Or demons.

[ Not that he remembers. ]

[formant]

( as much was evident in how he was handling the assembled felines. cats didn't really respond well to the structure of authority and discipline that this man was seemingly trying to convince them with — that's why police units incorporated dogs instead (well, one of the many reasons). regardless, sympathy is writ clear as day on shinsou's face as he confirms that he'd had the whole wallet lifted. it may not be much, but — they'd all arrived here with basically nothing, so to have even that much taken away...

he's not really much of a detective. hero-in-training, sure, but solving mysteries and closing criminal cases was a totally different department. that having been said, he's still got the instinct that he's not going to leave someone high and dry when he feels like he might be able to help.

he frowns, hesitating because he's not sure he has the most desirable answer. but that doesn't mean this is a lost cause. ) Honestly, you'll probably struggle to get them to confess. They, um, ( he sweeps a broad hand over the head of the cat in his lap, smooshing its ears as he says in confidential undertone, ) they're very proud of what they do here. ( bakeneko seem to be pretty low on the youkai totem pole, so that they have this cushy of a set-up and a respectable income stream from it... it might be too much of an affront to their pride to simply give the wallet back. )

But it's not exactly like they... have pockets. It has to be somewhere in here, right? Maybe if we can find their stash, you can take your wallet back. ( the black-and-white cat he'd been covering the ears of squirms out of his grasp, looking up to fix him in a sharp glare, ears pinned back.

oops. ) Uh, and maybe leave a little extra behind, for their troubles.

( the bakeneko still didn't look appeased. )

sticky paws

[thefifthchild]

[Damian sees this scene and approaches. He doesn't have to get far before all the cats start to instead crowd around him, perhaps because he brought treats.]

What seems to be the problem? [He smiles as he picks one of them up and lets it crawl it's way up his shoulders.]

[horrifictie]

Wha--

[ DRAMA - Do not be thrown off, sire! The boy is prideful of his uncanny ability to covet the affection of the felines. ]

Hey, I'm kind of in the middle of an interrogation. Could you please not distract the suspects?

[thefifthchild]

Yes, I'm a detective myself. I don't think you'll find your culprit amongst them. [He lays the bowl of milk down so that they can drink up and crosses his arms.]

If they did steal your wallet, do you seriously think the establishment wouldn't be in on it? It's as you said, what would a cat do with a wallet?

There's a larger conspiracy at work. Whether the cats are involved or not is a moot point, because there's only one group capable of training them this way.

[He's really leaning into this batshit accusation, yes. Gotham city is a weird fucking place.]

arrival

[breweries]

[ oh, my. and here shylock thought lining up for such a menial task is going to be boring. his eyes widen at the display of shamelessness before him, and when the rather disheveled man grouses at him, the taller man can cover his hand with a mouth to muffle a light chuckle. ]

Oh no, not at all. Frankly, that would surely get the message across. Although, you must be aware that these youkai might not balk down just because a mere human told them to.

[ just saying. still, he admires the moxie of the guy, appearance notwithstanding. ]

[horrifictie]

[ HALF LIGHT - A mere human? No. You have always been so much more. Make sure he knows it.
VOLITION - For the record, we haven't *actually* confirmed you're dead. ]

"Mere" human? [ Harry smiles, a low laugh rumbling out from his throat. ] I am the speaker of the end times, a Cop of the Apocalypse. The one who foretells of The Gloaming that is still to come. I am anything *but* a mere human.

[breweries]

[ my, those titles sure make him sound super important. the gloaming? the speaker of the end times? don't mind the amused smile on his face now as he takes a couple steps forward in this long, dreary line they find themselves in. ]

In that case, why is the so-called Cop of the Apocalypse currently lining up for a ticket in Hell? Surely someone who is gifted with future sight such as you would have been able to evade the inevitable.

[ assuming they're all not dead here, that is. ]