jigokufever | June 2022 Test Drive

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June 2022 Test Drive

1. CLEAN UP

The curse has broken, finally banishing the oppressive air around the city and the many sightless eyes of the accursed haniwa. Life will have to return to normal now but first there is lingering clean-up that must be attended to:

SHUTEN CLAN

The Shuten Clan is out in force to rebuild damaged storefronts. Eager oni appear in their festival happi, singing oni working tunes. You can pick up the words easily enough, join in and help out. The mood starts bright, but after a number of unlucky accidents there is less singing and more grumbling. The cursed energy left behind has made all of you much more prone to workplace accidents but the storefronts need to be scrubbed, broken glass needs sweeping, new furniture needs construction. There are any number of thumbs smashed by hammers, hands cut on saws, heads hit with falling debris or that board of wood you didn’t see someone carrying towards you. It’s a cursed day to be out on the job.

Rewards will come in the form of free drinks for a week from specific bars and a generous amount of chips for the casinos. If you aren’t of age to drink or gamble? Well… they’ll look the other way this time. Have fun.

It should be noted that the uniform -- a happi, a hachimaki, and fundoshi -- is required. The Shuten Clan is very traditional, after all.

TAMAMO CLAN

The bathhouses in Tamamo clan territory remain full of bloodied water. They need to be drained and scrubbed to make them new again. However, reaching the drains is a tricky business. You can’t simply reach in to pull out the plug, you will have to wade into the water to twist it free. Easy enough, right?

Unfortunately, residual curse energy has made this a very dangerous task. Phantasmal hands will reach out and try to drag you under as you get too close to the drain. The phantasms can be distracted, so you’ll need some teamwork to succeed. Your reward is a significant amount of free bath coupons. Some of the advertised baths even have “special” properties. Take the chance to relax, you probably need it.

Those that are rejuvenated in the newly purified baths will find themselves with seemingly limitless vigor. That vigor may sometimes manifest in the form of desperately needing to fuck the first thing willing to do so. Which might turn out somewhat embarrassing...

SUTOKU CLAN

The residual cursed energy in the Sutoku Alliance territory has congregated in their many arcades. The prizes in the UFO catcher machines seem off and they keep shifting around. If you happen to win a prize, the prize slot snaps shut on your hand with amazing force: the machine out for blood. To clear the curse, the prizes need to be removed from the machines and purified with the help of a local shrine maiden. Unfortunately, the key ring to open the machines has been stolen by some of the unruly prizes. You will need to use your UFO catcher skills to fish it back out.

Try not to lose any fingers.

Other machines are shooting tokens out of their coin slots at astonishingly painful speeds. A strange phenomenon, as even the machines that take swipe cards are doing it. Where are those tokens even coming from? You will have to get the machines open and give them a deep cleaning to get all the residual blood off the coins and mechanisms. You need the same keys that are stuck inside the UFO catcher…. Better hope you can fish out the one you need.

For your troubles, you will be given unlimited free plays for a month. Perfect for winning a totally-not-cursed prize for your sweetie.

ENMA DEPARTMENT

It’s the Department of the Enma’s turn to go begging for good will. They are considered to be mostly responsible for the way the cursed haniwa were handled in the first place. Enma souls should get out on the streets and see what the people need: Food, clean water, housing repairs and maintenance, as well as exorcisms. They’re all high on people’s priority lists and most people want it done pronto. Try not to get snappy with the angry people, the department’s reputation is on the line.

The Enma is slated to give a press conference at some point. It's up to the rest of the Department to assure that there will be reception to his words. They are likely to be of grave importance to the rest of the city.

A hard day’s work is its own reward, but you’ll also get a day pass to a theme park on the edge of the city – in the name of community outreach, of course.

2. GHOST SHARKS

The very streets themselves are treacherous with residual curses. The isonades may have been intimidated out of town for the moment but the anger of their ancestors lingers in the bloody puddles that still glisten in the streets. Come too close to these puddles and spectral sharks will lunge from beneath the surface: Blood for blood! Lives for lives!

While spectral in nature, the teeth on these sharks can still do real harm to anyone they lash out at. They don’t seem to take damage in kind, but will pop and disperse for a moment when struck. The ghostly sharks are being populated by a magic totem that has been partially buried in the dirt of a local park. Destroy it and the sharks will disappear.

Unfortunately, a pack of snotty local children have taken a shine to this magic totem. They are not keen to let you take it from them, nor break it. It’s theirs. It’s special. If you’re feeling brutish or cruel, you can fight the children or deceive them, but your boss would probably suggest you try to bargain with them for appearance’s sake. They’re entirely unreasonable though, as children can be, and it will be quite a chore to get them to agree to your terms.

3. CURSED CORNERS

There are certain corners and alleyways which are simply predisposed to gather cursed energy. These areas are still haunted enough to affect the reality around you. You may experience hallucinations or visions of lost loved ones, past regrets, personal failings. These visions are played out in the area for all to see. You will remain frozen in place until your moment is done, or someone brave comes to pull you out.

Now that the worst of it is over, some of the more morbid and voyeuristic members of the public may be lurking around these haunted areas, waiting to see what horrors will be unveiled. They have out their phones and their cameras to record the show.

The cruelest of the spectators provide commentary to their social media followings as they observe. Anything for that monetization!

The biggest of the streams is a kerakera onna who goes by her channel name: Lipsticki. She leans in over the rooftops to cackle loudly at people’s misfortunes and give petty, scathing commentary about their misdeeds and failings.

4. THE ENMA SPEAKS (PLOT RELEVANT)

Outside the hospital where the Enma was being treated, there is a huge press gathering. The judge arbiter has been deemed fit enough to release. Hungry for word, journalists from every publication swarm the area. Most press-outlets in the city are controlled by the Sutoku Alliance, who have a vested interested in interrogating the Enma.

A number of other onlookers have tacked on as well, including Lost Souls both old and new. Lost Souls may even find themselves ordered to attend the statement by their faction.

It is assumed that the Enma must have something of grave importance to say, after all.

The Enma approaches the podium. He is dressed in his usual suit, his crown, and his stern expression; it puts a hush over the crowd through its tremendous pressure alone. No questions have been asked, yet, but a statement has been prepared. He clears his throat:

"The cause of the curse, the enemy of Jigokucho, is... Haniyasu. The Department's focus will be shifting to determining our next action in regards to this entity. That is all."

Just like, the Enma's secretary and a retinue of armored shinigami move to flank the Enma and guide them to a waiting limo down the steps. The press yells their questions over one another, but are pushed back. The Enma doesn't even seem to perceive them, simply focusing on getting into the car.

Unfortunately, if you're a representative for one of the factions -- especially the Department of the Enma -- that makes you fair game to hound for questioning too. Do you stand your ground or try to run away?

[[banner art by s-tokimura]]

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[Everything else is noise. The apathy of a crowd hoping to see more than crying young ones, unaware or uncaring about the weight of the regrets on display. The shadowed steps of an impossibly large wolfhound, one that he has seen before in nightmarish form, slipping past his ankles and settling in front of the two crying figments of memory beside them. Balmung, at least, is blessedly stoic this time; a far cry from when the sky was raining blood, and he found himself caught up in Van Ziek's nightmare, where the hound then had been all bared teeth and dire threat.

It allows Sholmes the privilege of focusing where it's needed, continuing to direct his attention to his old partner and not these baleful images that exist only to torment. How long has he been here, frozen to the spot, forced to hear their cries? He curses his inability to have arrived sooner.

And yet, despite everything, he forces a smile onto his face. He is practiced in the art; only Mikotoba himself might be able to sense a hint of wanness in the curve of the grin.]

Ah, quite problematic, and yet it is perhaps one of the easier conundrums presented to me during my stay in this place. Now, you'll have to forgive me ahead of time, dear fellow, for my boldness.

[It's hard to tell what he means until he's already partway through the motion: bending down to sweep up Yujin, one arm bracing his knees and the other supporting his back. Sholmes straightens with surprising swiftness for a tall, lanky man of no actual muscle definition, carrying Mikotoba bridal-style with zero self-consciousness.]

But the faster we depart, the sooner these images dissipate. Quite simple, all-in-all.

[He starts walking!]

[He doesn't see it coming at all, as distracted by the three phantoms beside them as he is. Sholmes lets go of him, and then he's bending, and then Yujin's feet are off the ground--]

S-Sholmes, wait!

[AND UP HE GOES.

It's... embarrassing, particularly with a good number of witnesses left. There's a quiet titter of laughter that spreads across the remaining onlookers, and at least one camera phone snaps a picture of the middle-aged lost soul being physically dragged off by some strange reed of a man. Even Susato stifles a giggle behind her hand as she and Iris finally disappear, floating off on the wind like smoke. Only Balmung remains: the dog raises itself up on all fours once more, staring after them as they walk away.

Well. As Sholmes walks away, anyway. Yujin's got one hand clutching his hat onto the top of his head, the other hanging onto Sholmes' shoulder with a vice grip.]

I don't believe it. It worked. [If not for the distance, then for the distraction. There's a touch of pink on the tips of Yujin's ears.]

Surely you aren't carrying me home? [CAN Sholmes carry him home? Honestly, he's surprised he's gotten this far without dropping him.]

[Let them take their pictures, let the crowd titter with a flutter of amusement. Sholmes could not care less, his only concern getting Mikotoba away from those illusions -- with distance, they will fade. With distraction, they will fade faster, and he's certain that this whole carrying business accounts for it.

He's also certain that Mikotoba might suffer through a mote of embarrassment from the whole ordeal, and he thinks to answer in the affirmative, that yes, he's going to carry him this way all the way back to his flat-- But such a ridiculous notion is not only difficult to believe, but likely physically impossible for Sholmes. Already, as they round the corner of the block, he wobbles a little on his feet.]

Ha! [It sounds more like a huff than a barking laugh, however.] Were I able to manage it, you cannot deny that you'd be impressed.

[But he can't, and this is about as far as he'll manage before he's terribly winded, and so Sholmes bends down to place the man back on the pavement, straightening again.]

But no, the point was to take you away from old regrets keeping one rooted to the spot. It worked, did it not? Though I see that I might have bruised a bit of your dignity in the process.

[Hard to miss how the tips of the man's ears have turned a shade of pink.]

Yes, well. Dignity aside. [Yujin says, skipping right over his own embarrassment. Back on solid ground at last he clears his throat awkwardly. Even without seeing his reflection, it's easy enough to tell from the man's expression that Sholmes has, as always, made him out. No use pretending, is there.]

I'm impressed with your quick thinking as is. You dispelled the illusion completely, Sholmes. Thank you.

[Sure enough, there's no Susato or Iris to be seen around the corner anymore. He shakes his head, as if ridding himself of the last memory of that nightmare. Now, they're just two friends, strolling through the streets-- uninterrupted for the rest of this time, he hopes.]

But now we're left with... this world. Sholmes, how did we get here? We'd only just parted ways in London, and now we're in something out of a fantasy story. In some bizarre future Japan, no less.

[He's not even thinking about it as he moves: he's just following wherever Sholmes is headed right now. Shame that 221B isn't within walking distance this time.]

[Sholmes' walk is immediate, as though falling into step alongside Mikotoba is only the natural thing to do, a habit that even time and great, departed distance cannot quash. It is comforting to hear the rhythm of the man's heel strike the pavement beneath their feet, complementary to his own. The sound of his voice resonating just beyond his shoulder as he takes the lead, knowing that his partner will always follow.

He cuts through a nearby alley, a small space with barely enough clearance for two people, but it is the fastest way to his assigned living in this place, and he's eager to introduce him to his home-away-from-home. His voice echoes against the close brick walls as he replies.]

We have been plucked from the routine of our daily lives, my dear Mikotoba, without either preamble or consideration for what we were doing prior to our arrival. The "how" still puzzles me, but the "why" is clearer: simply put, the factions within this city require a bolstering of their ranks, each one hoping to manipulate the tenuous power balance to their advantage. That is where we Lost Souls come in, here to fill those empty spaces with our own varied life experiences and abilities until, presumably, our hosts are satisfied with our services.

[He laughs, a little skeptical, of course.]

The criteria for that? Still a mystery!

[Yet suddenly Sholmes spins on his heel, stopping outright, facing Mikotoba with a wide grin and bright eyes.]

But let me tell you one thing that is for certain, my friend. It is good to see you. [He does not warn him before he steps forward and pulls him into a hearty hug, paired with a hearty clap on the back; yet one more reunion, and what is there not to be glad for? Perhaps it is bold of Sholmes, but after a bout of blood-soaked streets and endless nightmares, he does not care. He speaks amid the gesture.] You may have only just departed England from your perspective, but I have lingered in this place for a bit longer than that. And you do not know how many times I have already thought to myself, "It would be incredibly agreeable to have Mikotoba at my side during a time like this!"

[The walk brings back warm, much-cherished memories: Sholmes prattling on and on, the two of them weaving their way through the streets of London, the easy pace of this dance to which they are always finding their way back. There's a nostalgic smile on his face as he listens to Sholmes' account; funny, to be as much in his element as he is out of it, along for the ride with his partner once more.

Mikotoba hums his agreement, or at a minimum his acknowledgment, of the man's observations. It matches with what everything he'd been informed of upon arrival-- far more honest, however, than the language of contracts and bureaucracy and the like.]

Seems a rather unorthodox way to go about hiring new blood.

[Any other insights, however, will have to wait. Once again, Sholmes is catching him off guard-- this time, however, Mikotoba relaxes the second the immediate surprise passes over him. It has been a long several days. It had been a long several days, even prior to his arrival. Bold as it is, they both need it, he thinks; without hesitation, he falls right into the embrace.]

Then you'll have to pardon my late arrival, Sholmes... [he says, patting a spot just below Sholmes' shoulderblade.] I am at your side now.

What a situation we've found our way into this time. Hell. It'd sound preposterous if I hadn't already observed it all with my own senses.

[I am at your side now. He is hard-pressed to think of better news in the wake of hellish circumstances, and perhaps fate is finally smoothing itself out after putting them all through the wringer. If he had the gall to survive the nightmares and frenzies, why should he not be rewarded with his dear partner, his most trusted companion? Heavens knows he will need it henceforth.

His shoulders shake with a low chuckle.]

You have observed only a fraction of the strange and extraordinary this place has to offer. I am eager to both show you this city's peculiarities, as well as delight in your reactions to them.

[The embrace lingers, perhaps just for a half-second more, before he pulls away. Steps back to give them space again.]

But first! I should show you where I currently live. It is no 221B, but it is...

[A very long pause. His smile is unflagging.]

...cozy.

[ominous.]

[The relief that washes over him-- over the both of them-- is nearly palpable. If he is to face such a strange and inscrutable new world, there is no one else he'd rather weather it with than Sholmes.

There's still a pleasant expression on his face as they separate, but...]

Cozy?

[Oh, no. He can guess what that means. Mikotoba raises an eyebrow, looking dubious.]

Sholmes, we do receive a stipend for this contract, do we not...?

Do we? [—he replies, with a delighted spark in his eyes that does not suit the dubious nature of Mikotoba’s question. Either Sholmes is being facetious and said stipend is a laughable trifle, or Sholmes honest-to-god does not bother to keep track. Both options are equally possible, given the detective’s liberal nature with any form of income that ends up in his impulsive hands.

How this man made it to adulthood is anyone’s guess.]

Come now, you’ll see. [Sholmes turns on his heel and leads the way again. Eventually, they are spit out of the alleyway and into a wide street; another left here, another right there, and ultimately, an apartment complex comes into view — presumably their aim.] You will be given your own assigned housing, I imagine, regardless of which faction claims you. However, I cannot help but wonder—and hope, if I am honest—if you miss the days in which we shared a flat together?

[The question is sincere, of course. But it is also... a little underhanded because, just maybe, he wants Yujin to commit to a decision before he sees the state of the place. The probability is higher now than it will be then.]

[Having made Sholmes' acquaintance at the very beginning of his adulthood? Sometimes, Mikotoba still wonders too. He simply sighs, shaking his head at the man-- the exasperation does come with its own fondness, though, as it usually does.

As they round that final right corner, however, Mikotoba's briefly distracted by the sight of the apartment complex. The building is so compact, and-- square: a far cry from anything he'd seen in Japan or England. He slows to a stop, and his answer to Sholmes comes before he's had the chance to consider why his old friend might be asking the question of him at all.]

Of course, Sholmes. Those years will stay with me forever. I only wish I could've spent more time at our home on that most recent visit.

[He slows to a stop concurrently with his friend, giving Mikotoba enough time to appreciate the very strange architecture of the building before them. Even to Sholmes, they were bafflingly geometric, impossibly square when he first laid eyes upon them; to his Victorian sensibilities, it was curiously alien, as though all character and history had been purposefully wiped clean via design.]

I feel much the same way, my dear fellow. It was as though you were barely in London at all, the days had passed by so frustratingly fast.

[And they had plenty going on, at the time, to make a week feel like but an hour.

Still, despite the circumstances, at least Sholmes can take comfort in knowing this particular instance may well be a more… permanent situation.]

Though this world, strange as it is, may allow us to relive those days. If the idea sounds agreeable to you, would you consider staying with me again?

[The whirlwind of those that week, followed by this one, almost feels cruel. The thrill of the trial and investigation aside, a reunion ten years in the making had still been cut so unjustly short, but now... could they, really? He hasn't yet received his contract; what if they wind up split across factions?]

Flatmates again, eh?

[But he doesn't need much time to consider at all. Rivalries and factions be damned. He has defied the law of the land for this man many, many times, and today will be no different than any other. A smile spreads easily across Mikotoba's face. Truly, there is a silver lining to everything, if this world will allow him and Sholmes just a little while longer.]

I couldn't possibly turn down such an offer.

[Sixteen years ago, he'd reached out to shake a strange young man's hand. Today, he claps a hand on the shoulder of his dearest friend.]

Yes... yes, of course. I would love to.

Yes, I knew you would agree! [His smile brightens, and he reaches up to pat Mikotoba's wrist.] Or rather... No, I had hoped you would agree, and I am delighted that you have. Very much so!

[Even if the probability were already high that Mikotoba agree to be his flatmate again, Sholmes would not have argued the point (well, he might have, a little) if the man had a desire to remain elsewhere. Ten long years between them might have changed his preferences. Might have made the idea of living with Sholmes for an extended period an old, nostalgic novelty, rather than a practicality.

He is very glad that has not proven itself to be the case.]

Then come, you must see the place immediately! [Once more, ever briming with energy, the detective turns on his heel and winds his way towards the apartments. There are many sets of outer stairs, but he makes a beeline towards one in particular and takes the steps two at a time.] The faster you settle in, the better! There is nothing worse than feeling unmoored in a strange land, but now you will have a proper place to rest your head should you ever feel run ragged by its oddities!

[Once they're at the entrance, Sholmes unlocks the door and lets Mikotoba step in first with a wave of his hand.

It is, ah, as "cozy" as he described. The common area is small, and it is only logical to assume the rest of the rooms are smaller, and that there are not very many of them. But it is the mess that really constricts the space; items and papers strewn about in every direction--with the exception of the couch, which seems inordinately free of clutter; perhaps he's had a guest?--very much indicative of Herlock Sholmes not having anyone to straighten up after him, or even tell him to do so.]

[As he follows Sholmes up the apartment stairs-- just a step behind as always, never too close or too far-- Mikotoba begins to consider those practicalities, too. This'd been a sentimental decision, but it really is the wisest option, isn't it? They'll save their meager paychecks; they'll be in comfortable and trustworthy company; sure, the risk of inter-faction mingling is there, but so long as they're both cautious in the event they're split up, none of their superiors will ever have to know about their cohabitation. With any luck? They have all to gain and very little to lose.

(Although. Exactly how secret is he supposed to keep all this, anyway? Mikotoba quietly settles on "very", at least until it's proven otherwise. It won't be difficult to return to business as usual when he's kept their partnership on a need to know basis for so many years.)

Their arrival breaks him from this train of thought. Even were it not his friend's home, he's genuinely excited to see what these odd uniform apartments really look like on the inside. He takes his first step past Sholmes and into the apartment with a smile...

...and then his smile falters.

In all the excitement, he'd somehow forgotten about what it was actually like, living with Herlock Sholmes. Mikotoba only needs to see that cluttered scene for a moment before he turns his head back to Sholmes and gives him a Look.]

Sholmes. Where, exactly, am I to lay my head? I can scarcely see the floor.

[Perhaps if he's lucky he'll be nagging Sholmes to clean... llllless than he had a decade before? Maybe? He's (foolishly) optimistic about it.]

[In contrast to Mikotoba's Look, Sholmes closes the door and steps in rather casually, unworried about the disorder. This should come as no surprise, given this was only ever the default for the detective, claiming that the mess was an organized one in his mind, a filing system that none should disturb else it all come crumbling apart beneath the weight of its own chaotic framework. (Never mind the fact that when it did come time to seek an essential letter, or a clipping from a newspaper, or some other scientific bauble needed for his laboratory space, he could scarcely locate the item in question at all.)

The detective steps over piled-up mishmashes of clutter with the surreal confidence of a man who strides through a minefield, knowing with illogical certainty that he will not blow anything up. He makes it to a squat little table in the common area, disguised under a stack of colorful papers accumulated during his explorations through the city — adverts and pamphlets of shops and businesses that he will never visit or have already long forgotten about.]

It is a system, Mikotoba! A system! [Years later, his excuse is still the same. Still, Sholmes leans forward and slides all the papers off the table with one sweeping, dramatic motion.] Besides, we will make space! Now that you have agreed to live here, I have a reason to restrict this same system to a smaller portion of the flat. Otherwise, I will hear your complaints every day, won't I?

[He laughs about it as though it is a thing to laugh about. Sholmes straightens and gestures to indicate the whole of the apartment.]

There are two bedrooms—small, but sufficient—so as before, you will have your own sanctuary to retreat to. I will not make you sleep on the sofa, dear fellow.

[There are two bedrooms, a bathroom, a common area, and a kitchenette — all very humble. There is a sense that even once the space is not being devoured by Sholmes' "organized" disorganization, it will be a very intimate living arrangement, but at least they are graced by large windows that let the sunlight in. (And are very important in letting the detective's tobacco smoke out when necessary.)]

[Admittedly, the mess is familiar. Somewhat worse than what he remembers as Sholmes' baseline, but it is close quarters, after all. 221B by contrast had always been spacious enough to accommodate all of Sholmes' various mementos with plenty of room to spare. It takes a bit of footwork for Mikotoba to navigate his way through the mess; thankfully, it's enough to make it to Sholmes' coffee table without tripping and falling over anything.]

A sys... [Mikotoba stretches out a hand for the papers, surely he won't just-- annnnnd he does. The papers are heavy enough that they simply hit the ground in a heap, only a couple of them coming loose and fluttering off in other directions.] ...tem. [His hand falls uselessly to his side. The same excuse, familiar as the mess.]

Well, so long as your "system" remains on your side of the flat, I won't interfere with it. [Unless it becomes dangerous enough that he'll need to, which. MAYBE? Maybe.

Mikotoba sighs, readjusting the hat on his head, but it's not all longsuffering in the sound. He's thoughtful too he surveys the rest of his new lodgings. It's cramped, certainly, but there is room enough to make a home here again. Places to hide books, a windowsill on which to set potted plants-- meals to be made and taken together once more.

It is more than sufficient. He turns to the man with a grin.]

It's perfect, Sholmes.

[(He is going to bend down and set some of those papers on the sofa, though.)]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

June 2022 Test Drive

us crying all the time

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