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jigokufever2022-06-24 11:00 am
jigokumods) wrote in jigokufever2022-06-24 11:00 am
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June 2022 Test Drive
MAIN NAVIGATION
1. CLEAN UP
The curse has broken, finally banishing the oppressive air around the city and the many sightless eyes of the accursed haniwa. Life will have to return to normal now but first there is lingering clean-up that must be attended to:SHUTEN CLAN
The Shuten Clan is out in force to rebuild damaged storefronts. Eager oni appear in their festival happi, singing oni working tunes. You can pick up the words easily enough, join in and help out. The mood starts bright, but after a number of unlucky accidents there is less singing and more grumbling. The cursed energy left behind has made all of you much more prone to workplace accidents but the storefronts need to be scrubbed, broken glass needs sweeping, new furniture needs construction. There are any number of thumbs smashed by hammers, hands cut on saws, heads hit with falling debris or that board of wood you didn’t see someone carrying towards you. It’s a cursed day to be out on the job.
Rewards will come in the form of free drinks for a week from specific bars and a generous amount of chips for the casinos. If you aren’t of age to drink or gamble? Well… they’ll look the other way this time. Have fun.
It should be noted that the uniform -- a happi, a hachimaki, and fundoshi -- is required. The Shuten Clan is very traditional, after all.TAMAMO CLAN
The bathhouses in Tamamo clan territory remain full of bloodied water. They need to be drained and scrubbed to make them new again. However, reaching the drains is a tricky business. You can’t simply reach in to pull out the plug, you will have to wade into the water to twist it free. Easy enough, right?
Unfortunately, residual curse energy has made this a very dangerous task. Phantasmal hands will reach out and try to drag you under as you get too close to the drain. The phantasms can be distracted, so you’ll need some teamwork to succeed. Your reward is a significant amount of free bath coupons. Some of the advertised baths even have “special” properties. Take the chance to relax, you probably need it.
Those that are rejuvenated in the newly purified baths will find themselves with seemingly limitless vigor. That vigor may sometimes manifest in the form of desperately needing to fuck the first thing willing to do so. Which might turn out somewhat embarrassing...SUTOKU CLAN
The residual cursed energy in the Sutoku Alliance territory has congregated in their many arcades. The prizes in the UFO catcher machines seem off and they keep shifting around. If you happen to win a prize, the prize slot snaps shut on your hand with amazing force: the machine out for blood. To clear the curse, the prizes need to be removed from the machines and purified with the help of a local shrine maiden. Unfortunately, the key ring to open the machines has been stolen by some of the unruly prizes. You will need to use your UFO catcher skills to fish it back out.
Try not to lose any fingers.
Other machines are shooting tokens out of their coin slots at astonishingly painful speeds. A strange phenomenon, as even the machines that take swipe cards are doing it. Where are those tokens even coming from? You will have to get the machines open and give them a deep cleaning to get all the residual blood off the coins and mechanisms. You need the same keys that are stuck inside the UFO catcher…. Better hope you can fish out the one you need.
For your troubles, you will be given unlimited free plays for a month. Perfect for winning a totally-not-cursed prize for your sweetie.ENMA DEPARTMENT
It’s the Department of the Enma’s turn to go begging for good will. They are considered to be mostly responsible for the way the cursed haniwa were handled in the first place. Enma souls should get out on the streets and see what the people need: Food, clean water, housing repairs and maintenance, as well as exorcisms. They’re all high on people’s priority lists and most people want it done pronto. Try not to get snappy with the angry people, the department’s reputation is on the line.
The Enma is slated to give a press conference at some point. It's up to the rest of the Department to assure that there will be reception to his words. They are likely to be of grave importance to the rest of the city.
A hard day’s work is its own reward, but you’ll also get a day pass to a theme park on the edge of the city – in the name of community outreach, of course.
2. GHOST SHARKS
The very streets themselves are treacherous with residual curses. The isonades may have been intimidated out of town for the moment but the anger of their ancestors lingers in the bloody puddles that still glisten in the streets. Come too close to these puddles and spectral sharks will lunge from beneath the surface: Blood for blood! Lives for lives!
While spectral in nature, the teeth on these sharks can still do real harm to anyone they lash out at. They don’t seem to take damage in kind, but will pop and disperse for a moment when struck. The ghostly sharks are being populated by a magic totem that has been partially buried in the dirt of a local park. Destroy it and the sharks will disappear.
Unfortunately, a pack of snotty local children have taken a shine to this magic totem. They are not keen to let you take it from them, nor break it. It’s theirs. It’s special. If you’re feeling brutish or cruel, you can fight the children or deceive them, but your boss would probably suggest you try to bargain with them for appearance’s sake. They’re entirely unreasonable though, as children can be, and it will be quite a chore to get them to agree to your terms.
3. CURSED CORNERS
There are certain corners and alleyways which are simply predisposed to gather cursed energy. These areas are still haunted enough to affect the reality around you. You may experience hallucinations or visions of lost loved ones, past regrets, personal failings. These visions are played out in the area for all to see. You will remain frozen in place until your moment is done, or someone brave comes to pull you out.
Now that the worst of it is over, some of the more morbid and voyeuristic members of the public may be lurking around these haunted areas, waiting to see what horrors will be unveiled. They have out their phones and their cameras to record the show.
The cruelest of the spectators provide commentary to their social media followings as they observe. Anything for that monetization!
The biggest of the streams is a kerakera onna who goes by her channel name: Lipsticki. She leans in over the rooftops to cackle loudly at people’s misfortunes and give petty, scathing commentary about their misdeeds and failings.
4. THE ENMA SPEAKS (PLOT RELEVANT)
Outside the hospital where the Enma was being treated, there is a huge press gathering. The judge arbiter has been deemed fit enough to release. Hungry for word, journalists from every publication swarm the area. Most press-outlets in the city are controlled by the Sutoku Alliance, who have a vested interested in interrogating the Enma.
A number of other onlookers have tacked on as well, including Lost Souls both old and new. Lost Souls may even find themselves ordered to attend the statement by their faction.
It is assumed that the Enma must have something of grave importance to say, after all.
The Enma approaches the podium. He is dressed in his usual suit, his crown, and his stern expression; it puts a hush over the crowd through its tremendous pressure alone. No questions have been asked, yet, but a statement has been prepared. He clears his throat:
"The cause of the curse, the enemy of Jigokucho, is... Haniyasu. The Department's focus will be shifting to determining our next action in regards to this entity. That is all."
Just like, the Enma's secretary and a retinue of armored shinigami move to flank the Enma and guide them to a waiting limo down the steps. The press yells their questions over one another, but are pushed back. The Enma doesn't even seem to perceive them, simply focusing on getting into the car.
Unfortunately, if you're a representative for one of the factions -- especially the Department of the Enma -- that makes you fair game to hound for questioning too. Do you stand your ground or try to run away?
[[banner art by s-tokimura]]
Welcome to the test drive meme!
- Threads here can be considered game canon.
- Characters can be recruited to do work for any faction until they're given their official assignment.
- New characters can link their toplevels here!
- If you have any questions about the TDM content, please ask them here! You can find information on the story so far here!
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- Reserves are open until July 5th
- NEWBIE TOP LEVELS
to be fair boomeranging tags back and forth of painful silence would be Hilarious
[(Whenever he'd fallen through time, just before he landed in the past, he'd always found himself on a rowboat in the middle of a dense fog -- maybe in the Nippashi River, or in the middle of Lake Inawashiro, impossible to tell. The passengers with him changed every single time, but most often it was either Tamamori leaning further and further over the stern of the boat to gawk at something, until Minakami would dive to grab his collar, or Kawase perched neatly on the opposite seat, his chin propped on his hand, an affected bored expression on his face. As a child, he'd thought Kawase had looked grown-up and urbane; now, looking at his friend's reflection, he thinks Kawase looks young; like some part of him hadn't stopped being that six year old.)]
[It's a relief, when the bus pulls up to their stop.]
...the factional lines aren't entirely draconian. [Speaking up like they'd been in the middle of a conversation this whole time; his voice as mild as it ever is.] They have districts and neighbourhoods that align to a given clan, and their own agendas, naturally, but in day-to-day life, they don't mark who you spend time with. We're at a border between Sutoku and Tamamo.
[As they approach the la sonnerie coffeehouse, a faint note of something that sounds suspiciously like mischief comes into his tone:]
By the way, don't be too alarmed.
RIPS MY SHIRT OFF TO REVEAL ANOTHER SHIRT WITH "I 💗 FROGMAN" ON IT
And thus it wasn't Tama who was the first one to gleefully brighten from the pair's arrival. There was a second figure in the room, a little frog that certainly wasn't familiar to Minakami, but was agonizingly so to Kawase. Frog Man had adopted the same little scarf as many of the tsukumougami hopping around the counters, which might have made it seem like he was some new yokai employee, but he bounced like rubber, latching himself on to Kawase's leg and nuzzling in. ]
Kawase-san~~
[ Tama parsed Frog Man speaking- they'd already had their own bewildered re-introduction after the text message had come in -but clearly hadn't parsed what the frog had said. ] Oi, Frog Man, don't bother the... [ Wait. Tama looked up, dumbly staring at the pair. ] ...eh-?
[ It took him a moment of scrambling, by comparison, having to carefully set down the kettle he'd been assisting and trying to actually dry his hands off, but once he was out from behind the counter, he was clearly just as excited, rushing up to cling to Kawase without any of his usual embarrassment. There Was No Time. ] You're finally here...!!
please put your shirt back on
The Frog Man...? [It's not like you could really mix him up with anyone else, but it's sure not what he expected-- even less so the little creature's aggressive show of affection. It's not like a hallucination could really get dirty, but still..!] H-Hey, wait a min--
[Well. Maybe Minakami had been spot on, because Kawase barely has time to look up at Tamamori's approach (and the stupid hat he was wearing??) before Tama was suddenly clinging to him too. It was, uh, a surprise, the frankness of the gesture, but not an unpleasant one.]
What's with you guys...?! [He's scowling, but there was an undeniable tint of embarrassment on his face. When he finally figures out what to do with his arms, he rests one on Tama's shoulder, and the other hand on his head.] Even if it's been longer for you, it's still only been two months, hasn't it? Don't act like it's such a big deal...
retroactive winner of the wet t-shirt contest. its frogman
[la sonnerie wasn't really anything like the cafe they'd frequented, even without the tsukumougami staff -- even with the same signs of recently-repaired damage that were pretty much everywhere now, it still looked like the kind of place where you'd get kicked out for spilling something on a booth. Even with his awkwardness, he bows to Melody-san behind the counter, just before the chaos of Tama's greeting barrels in.]
[There's an odd, complicated feeling in his chest, seeing Tama throw himself at Kawase, and Kawase accepting it despite his... everything. Especially coming right after his own inability to do anything more than antagonize Kawase. It's not like the quiet resignation he'd had before over the other two's almost-daily meetings at the cafe. Is this jealousy?]
[Despite this, Minakami makes a "Mm" noise that suspiciously sounds like it translates to, "I did say he was looking for you..."]
[That's momentarily eclipsed by the bafflement at the... frog? yokai? that was currently bonelessly latched onto Kawase's leg, like a child meeting a favourite relative at a gathering, and even more bewilderment that Kawase recognizes it. Minakami had meant his little comment to be about Tama's (very real! see!!) workplace and silly uniform, but it seemed he was more right than he knew... ?]
Eh, Tamamori, is this a co-worker...?
ABSOLUTELY CORRECT
[ Frog man was, as always, nicer than Tama, and let go to peek around him at Minakami- they'd not exactly met before, so the frog did a little bow, a lot more properly than Tama's ever were. ] No, I'm...
Eh? [ Tama finally pulled his face away, even while still stubbornly draped against Kawase. ] No, Frog Man is Frog Man. Well...I guess keroko more than kerosan...I never named him properly.
I'm one of Tamamori-san's hallucinations. It's nice to finally meet Minakami-san directly!! [ The frog deflated a little. ] I wasn't much help during the rain...neither of you could even see me...
well what's his prize
Minakami and I can go plenty of time without seeing each other, you know... [Shockingly, he doesn't mean that as a condemnation... though maybe the casual tone of it was damning on its own. As if Kawase wasn't happy every time that Tamamori showed up to the cafe, and hadn't already made himself deal with Minakami's avoidance.]
Keroko...? [Hm. Strange. Though Frog Man didn't really suit him either, in Kawase's opinion. Not that that was extremely relevant.
Eventually, he gently tries to pry Tamamori off him, at least, like, a little??? So he could actually participate in the conversation (Seriously, it was only two months, he couldn't imagine Tama missing him that much...) And it gave him the chance to shake his leg half-heartedly to get Frog Man off, though his scowl talked a bigger game than his actual effort.] Someone like you couldn't have helped with that situation anyway. I would've just thrown you out the door if you did, and I could've saved myself some grief... [He says with a sigh.]
apparently 'not being fully present for hellmonth'
[Hallucination explained more and less than it should have; he can't think of a time when one of them has been this... talkative? Or solid-looking? Minakami steps around (so that their group's weird little tableau isn't,, entirely blocking the entranceway,,,) and he bobs his head politely at Frog Man.]
Is that so? I'm glad to meet you as well. If you were hiding, that just means you were safe, no?
['That situation'... it's not that he isn't still curious about the details, especially from Kawase's point of view, but that's maybe not a conversation for the foyer of a coffee shop.]
Ah -- no, I believe Frog Man means the storm that plagued this city last month... [Also something that's strange to talk about, only a week out from it.]
he sat there at the edge of existing, wibbling, while tama had a breakdown. idk if thats a prize
[ Somewhere, between ushering his two...best friends out the door, Frog Man seemed to disappear; it could have been the exhaustive experience of reorienting to the frog's presence, or just the weighty subject matter he now had to reacquaint to, it was hard to say which was the more likely culprit. He didn't shoo the pair much further than the glass windows at the front of the store, however, because of course he still intended to go somewhere to celebrate Kawase's existence, even more if Kawase didn't want it to be a big deal. ] Kawase, this is important- what do you remember before you showed up here? Have we been missing for two months? Bukubuku-kun was telling me, apparently sometimes souls get stuck, or something like that, and don't remember things correctly. It's had me worried this entire time!!
i mean it means he doesn't have to deal with the breakdown, so that's neat
So there's still rain even in Hell, huh...? [The sigh he let out was deeper than usual-- though he guessed it wouldn't be much of a hell, if there wasn't.
Despite his confusion over 'Melody-san,' Kawase only looks mildly annoyed as Tama hurried both of them out the door. But at least it's the kind he lets pass without argument.]
Eh...? [His eyes raised at Tamamori's question, and he tilts his head a bit, apparently bored already with the strange question.] ...The last thing I remember was leaving the Kanda river... You were insisting we had to get back to the city as soon as possible. So I had no way of knowing you'd been here two months.
july substory: take a frog out to get ice cream (plot relevant)
[Before that, though, the news that somehow, no time had passed, and neither Madam nor his parents have been worrying that he's dead or missing. It loosens a knot he's been carrying since he's arrived.]
...Like 'The World Eight Hundred Thousand Years Later', then. The Traveller experiences weeks and months of travel through the ages, yet only three hours passes in his own time...
[The Kanda river. From Tama telling him about the train derailment, that must have been how both of them had survived the fall. Even though obviously Tama had walked away from the fall intact, knowing Kawase did so as well is a bigger load off his mind than he expects, especially alongside to the prior news about the missing two months. Minakami leans against the glass, relieved.]
The last thing I remember from the capital was the rains stopping, and boarding a tram. It was a while after... Tamamori found me in the theatre. It sounds as if we all "left" at the same time, yes?
perfect, ideal
[ Ah. Right. He'd sort of lost his nerve about discussing 'that shameless thing', maybe even moreso after the...incident on the network at the start of June. His deadpan was very earned, as was the jabbing poke he gave to Kawase's arm. ] I already told Minakami about that, so there's no sneaking your way out of it. That, and everything else that happened. [ A very tender pause; Tama glances back over to Minakami, at the bruise still stubbornly fading on his face, and looks a little more subdued than usual. ] ...well, most of it. It was a lot to keep track of...
you actually get three points for that thread
[Still, just because he was-- more, okay, with Tamamori touching him, he didn't exactly appreciate the arm jabbing, and he bats Tama's hand away with a sneer.]
Sneaking away...? [That one actually does take him a moment to think about-- Ah, but there was only thing Tamamori would call 'shameless,' wasn't there? He'd been so flustered about it when Kawase had returned to shore.
Mm. But.
It seemed a lot had already changed, after he'd spoken something so impulsively, on the day he was supposed to die, until now.]
Ah... I'm surprised you know what it meant. You even still remember it. That's surprisingly brazen of you. [The smile on his face became wicked, though his eyes were half-lidded. He took a few steps as if to start walking, like he knew wherever the hell they were going to go.]
I don't know why you'd remember, though. [He sounds exasperated.] It was just a joke, you know. [It wasn't.] Like I'd do something like that... And now you've dragged Minakami into this. How embarrassing.
tragically this thread subtracts 3 points from all our ledgers
...
[It's not as if he hadn't thought Kawase would say something like that. Mina had said as much, after all; the twist of unhappy vindication is expected. He finally looks directly at Kawase, at the look on his face.]
Is that really what you have to say? [His voice is quiet. Maybe it's the frazzled tension on his nerves -- the bus ride isn't enough for him to put a barrier between now and something less than half an hour ago.] Tamamori didn't "drag" me into it. Don't put the onus on him.
we're in a deficit and theyre not even up yet
Then again, [ Tama turned to the side, and the scene changed- this wasn't a simple argument, but a spat between a foreign prince and his stubborn aide, with his retaining knight standing in attendance. The stern look turned to a glower, and he jabbed his overly ornate scepter in to Kawase's sternum. ] I've already come to my own conclusion, before you even arrived. I won't settle for any less than both of you! [ He tapped the shoulder against his shoulder, like a yakuza with a baseball bat. If he was going to be labeled as the spoiled brat, then damn right he was going to weaponize it to his benefit!! ] And it's much too late to change my mind, so you'll just have to learn to accept it!
fuck
Honesty...? [He repeats the word blankly, as if he had never heard of such a thing. A part of him felt a stab of guilt at Tamamori's words, like he was taken everything they'd done and said those last two days for granted. He sort of was. But he couldn't stop himself from picking at the wound, until everything was nothing more than a bloody mess.]
Fine. I don't mind being honest for a bit... I wouldn't mind a certain someone telling the truth, for once. [Well, he wasn't going to be obvious, but the implication was clear.
His smile lit up like a flame yet again, dangerous and unbearable if you stood too close. But the gleam of his eye remained normal, just like it had the entire conversation.]
Does that mean you told Minakami why we were on our way out of the Capital...? About that future we created? [It's too impersonal to be speaking about them; Hanazawa, Hikawa and himself were the only ones responsible. But he knew Tamamori wouldn't have; he was too soft for things like that, when a simple explanation was just fine.
Kawase steps one foot around Tamamori, turning around with a sweep of his tunic so he was facing the both of them with one hand tucked in his pocket, and not at the mercy of Tama's little scepter.]
Did you ever tell Tamamori-kun why he got the hashihime in the first place? Or about the 'compensation' she took? [He looks at Minakami, the look of his eyes turning dark.] Were you ever gonna tell him you asked me to take care of him if you died, just now? Did you even tell him if you wanted a situation like this...? It must be easier to tell yourself you do until I show up.
[That seemed to be the heart of the matter he was getting at, under all the thorns he was trying to inflict. The anger melted away, but it just made Kawase look like he was pretending to look troubled, and failing.] So how about you tell the truth, for once? If you think I must have more to say, why don't you go first?
kfc double doubledown: two doubledowns as the "bread" of a doubledown
Don't give yourself credit for something I caused all on my own. I told him what he needed to know, and he still worried more that you were going to reject all of this. Rightly so, it turns out. [ The hallucination was ill-fitting now, but lingered, even as its edges frayed- he pitched the scepter to Kawase's feet, but on one of its clattering bounces it had turned to a sword; it might have seemed random, but he'd never forget it even if he'd only seen it for a matter of moments during that horrible debate. Of course, the katana wasn't really there, but the symbol of it was enough. ] If you think your future's damned to turn out the same after everything we went through, then the same's bound to happen to me. It wasn't that long ago for you, so you should still remember how to use it.
it is possible that this is too much chicken in one chicken
[Two months ago, when him and Tama were running heedlessly out of the funeral grounds, and starting to unpick the knot that had been their childhood. He'd said, 'I thought you wanted to leave it behind. When we left the village, we could just start over. All three of us.' Start over, without any of the hard parts, except the hard parts were the only thing they had left.]
How do you know about...
[Out of all the nightmares he'd seen in the storm, right now none of them measure up to this: Kawase looking at him with scorn, accusing him of the blood on his hands in front of Tamamori. In a way, it's a relief: All the discordant emotions that rose to the surface as anger crack in half, leaving him defenseless.]
The 'compensation'...? I've been trying to make up for that ever since. Even if nothing can make up for what I did to both of you -- why do you think... why do you think I... it should have been me.
that's like nine chicken i think, which at that point you could just order a plate of wings
Kawase looks down at the sword at his feet-- that dingy, cheap, scrap of metal that he'd been handed to end a man's life. He's impressed Tamamori's hallucinations can imitate it so easily... but well, he was a writer for a reason. He stoops down for a moment to pick up the katana, shockingly unperturbed by having to pick something up off the ground.]
That old man shopkeep that wanted you to die... That's how I know. [He wasn't sure if that man had ever figured it out from himself; but seeing that night's events as they were through his eyes, not just stuck on the bridge until he was shivering in the rain... it made the sequence of events pretty clear.
He looked at the sword, though he didn't really remember it enough to remember the details. But still, instead of even pretending to swing or behead either of them, Kawase turns the blade around in his hands without hesitation, and held it to the side of his own neck. It wasn't like it could do anything, and there was clearly no intent behind the gesture; it was like it was just a statement of fact.]
Don't flatter yourself... without you, Tamamori'd be dead. That was the point, wasn't it? [His voice is already softer, like he's already flickered out. It wasn't even petty, just stated; as far as Kawase could tell, it'd all worked out.] But you must have some delusion of your own if you think you owe me anything. As if I'd want you dead for no reason...
[He switches his glance to Tamamori, and it's enough to finally let the barest hints of strain appear in the corner of his eye, like a child accepting they're being scolded.] ...I'm not someone that can change reality like you.
well the good news is looking at the doubledown hot dog has made me never hungry again
[He darts past Tamamori, in a smooth motion drawing the wakizashi one-handed at his belt. He can't disarm Kawase like this, not without risking driving the blade into his neck himself, but he can close the distance, jostling Kawase enough to throw him off-balance and lock their swords together.]
[He stops there for a beat, almost eye to eye with Kawase.]
...then he didn't tell you everything. Tamamori wasn't the only one who would have died. [He's not out of breath, but he speaks in a whisper anyway.] I've let you think you would have been a murderer for fifteen years.
[There. If he'd wanted either Kawase's or his own defenses to crack, when he'd first tried to talk to him -- there it was.]
i'm still upset about that
W-What...? [What was that for? Why would he...? It's not... like he was really going to do anything. The sudden action, as if Minakami was a samurai right out of the war, was leagues easier to understand than the news that he should've died in that time loop.
He swallows thick, catching his breath.] ...But it's true, isn't it? [He can hardly remember what he'd been thinking at the time, let alone in another timeline. But he'd been desperate, and scared, and he knew here, in this timeline, he'd set off back home knowing he could handle it alone, knowing how much he had to keep it a secret.]
It's not like I'm innocent now, anyway. What's the difference between thinking I was for fifteen years, and knowing I am for ten...? It makes no difference to me.
go sixteen years in the past to erase the double down dog
[Regardless, he doesn't do so. Part of it is that something in Kawase's shaken expression makes it hard for him to back down, even though he's aware they're having this standoff in broad daylight with Tamamori behind him; Tamamori who must have been hoping for a simpler resolution than watching the two of them in freefall. And part of it is -- after hearing weeks ago what Kawase had been planning... maybe it's too naive, but maybe Minakami would like to see him lower the sword himself, without being forced to.]
[Minakami shakes his head, helplessly.]
It's not murder if you're saving someone. [He falters, but carries on.] The difference is... in the other loops, he followed you. I think... he thought you were going to run away.
[He stops before he can finish that sentence as 'run away too' -- even for Mina, Kawase's mother is barely more than a blurred face seen from afar, but she was still someone not to be talked about -- but the abrupt silence hangs in the air.]
i mean you joke but i would
So it was... [So it was his fault. So it had been his father... He'd never had any idea what had really happened that night, but-- he'd never thought it was because... because his father had followed him there, in the downpour. That sneaking out that night had meant putting both of his friends in danger, risking Tamamori's life, and forcing Minakami to go through time again, and again, and again.
He can't help but laugh a little. An involuntary and unsettling sort of thing, as he kept looking at Minakami without really looking at him. Every part of him tensed up, and he held the sword until his knuckles turned white, and his hand started to shake.]
How funny... [There's the usual faked-casualness forced into his words, but it's a pretty pathetic attempt.] All I wanted to do... was tell Tamamori-kun not to tell anyone what he saw. [He'd thought that would make sure Tama would be safe from him, but it turned out he was wrong again. He felt sick to his stomach.]
...When I killed him, all I wanted was to make it up to Hanazawa. I wasn't protecting either of you. [Not like he should've. He hadn't even known he should've at the time.] If I was I never would've gone to the bridge that night. Isn't that right...?
no subject
Why...do you think I can change reality? When I'm not even enough to change someone's mind...?
[ The the gulf he'd viewed that 'other him' across- it didn't feel so wide anymore. He couldn't stop either of them. He couldn't make them live. So, if they couldn't live, refused to, then the least they owed it to him was to die how he chose, in exchange for all the bullshit they'd put him through. His legs buckled from the thought, but he barely even registered the usual worries about getting his uniform dirty, or the possibility that his boss and coworkers were watching through the too-wide windows like this was some theater drama. ]
Maybe that's fine. Nobody can change my mind, either. [ He wanted to get up, more because he didn't want to be touched than anything, but his legs weren't working, and he was still staring ahead, uselessly fragile in his delivery. ] Even if you love your guilt more than me, I came to my conclusion already. I'm not settling for anything less than both. That's...final.
no subject
[A blink, and it's over -- Kawase's in the university uniform, he's in the last shirt he has that's not ruined by blood or worse; instead of swords, their forearms are awkwardly locked over each other, almost as if each of them was reaching for the other's throat. When Minakami jerks his head back at the soft sound of Tama falling onto the pavement, Tamamori's back to normal, too. "Normal" in the way that he didn't want to become normal, but every time, every time...]
...
[More than anything, he wants to go to Tama, pick him off the ground, smooth this over, like he wasn't the one who'd been pushing Tama to this point. At the same time... if he lets go of Kawase now, he's not sure if he'll ever be in reach again, a severed kite string whipping away over the horizon. (At that, a dangerous new thought creeps into his head, too outlandish to put into words yet, surely not--)]
[He starts to reach for one of Kawase's hands and checks himself at the last second, taking his wrist instead. Even then he's afraid that contact through the fabric is too much, but Kawase had grabbed him out of the crowds, so maybe, maybe it's fine.]
...Tamamori said it to me, only I wouldn't listen. We were just... kids. [Minakami wants to look down, look away, but he's done that too much already.] ...If you want the truth... I asked you to look after Tamamori, because... I need you here, too. [He curls his fingers around Kawase's sleeve cuff; it seems like the next thing he says should be a dark joke, but there's an odd, confused tone to his voice:] I don't think we have a choice.
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Then there's a tug on his arm, and he can feel the shape of a hand around his wrist; for the second time that day, he looked up at Minakami with wide-eyed surprise, his mouth slightly parted. Just... Just, kids.
The truth isn't what he expected. And suddenly... it takes the number of people who could've wanted him around up to two. He was so... certain, that Minakami was too strong, too good and steady of a person to not be disgusted with him by now. Some part of him had even hoped that Minakami would see through the pathetic lie he'd used to cover up Ikeda's death, and maybe it'd be Mina who would finally stop him... and maybe Hanazawa, too. Never in his wildest dreams could he imagine...
His heart jumps in his throat, and for a moment his hand shakes again, unsure of what to do as he stares at Minakami's hand. Every nerve inside him wanted to recoil even at the suggestion of the touch. But he-- hated, that that was always what he wanted to do.
From the outside it probably seemed silly that there was so much mental effort just turning his hand, sliding it out from under Minakami's grip so he could try and hold the end of Mina's fingers in a way that just turned out like an awkward, intertwined mess. Kawase's grip is too tight for the gesture, but it was the only way he could keep himself held on.]
...Sorry. I was lying before. [His voice was quiet, still sounding hushed and vacant-- but for now, it was just the way he sounded.] I just wanted to see Tamamori-kun get flustered, trying to explain a 'dasiy-chain'... [That last part was clearly a lie; but the first part was true. He didn't really have hopes and dreams, but he supposed he had one.
But it's about all he stand, before he releases his own tepid grip and brought his own hand gripped tightly back to his space.] Mm... I guess not. [He sounded weary over Minakami's question, but his tone was lighter than before, as he turns to look at Tamamori, seemingly unperturbed by Tama's current state, though it was far from the truth.] Don't you think you're not giving us enough credit? I don't think we ever said anything about leaving you alone.
the tag that took three days and 27 planets worth of energy to finish, i hope you're both ready
presses hands together, looks at sky
[gestures at a burning planet] i think i did pretty well
THE PLANET'S DYING KAWASE
[barrett voice]
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